Archive 34

NOVEMBER 1, 2020 SUNDAY 8 PM - NOW PLAYING - THE SIMPSON’S TREEHOUSE OF TERROR ON FOX TV - NEW EPISODE!

OCTOBER 13, 2016 THURSDAY 10 PM - THE END OF AN ERA PART 2

Every year haunts come, and every year haunts go. After all, nothing man-made lasts forever. This time it's ERWIN'S ORCHARDS HAUNTED BARN & CORN MAZE in SOUTH LYONÂ closing after 38 years of business, and we're crushed to see them go.

But we understand.

However, the orchard is still active and we plan to stop in if we can and get some cider and those wonderful fresh donuts. ERWIN'S has a really unique multi-grain donut that's out of this world! Get a jar of apple butter too, and try dipping the donuts in it. YUM!

OCTOBER 13, 2016 THURSDAY 4 PM - WORD ON THE STREETS 2016 / EPISODE #1

So I'm waiting in line at a CVS DRUG STORE in DEARBORN a couple days ago, and the girl just ahead of me was wearing a T-shirt from a very famous haunt in OHIO.

Those of you that have met us know we can be rather talkative. So of course I opened my big mouth, and next thing you know...whoops gotta run to CARDIO DRUMMING...be back later with the ending of this very cool story...and this is FIRST HAND from "the man on the street," or in this case woman...

OCTOBER 13, 2016 THURSDAY 3 PM - C'MON, JUST ONE MORE HAUNT / THE SONIC BOOM ENDING

With the clock ticking down last Saturday night, and our special guest from New York about to become a pumpkin at midnight we had a decision to make. Can we make it to one more haunt?

We're anxious for this guy to go back to New York and tell everybody how amazing the haunts are in Michigan. The last stop of the night would have to be something special, as we already saw two great haunts - HUSH and KRAZY HILDA'S...

NOTHIN' FANCY, STRICTLY FAMILY

The choice was easy, and we made our way to the HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME in INKSTER.

SMALL BUT MIGHTY / OLD SCHOOL NEVER GETS OLD

Is it big? No. Is it fancy? No. Is it killer? Well, we already went there once this year, and we went again, so there's your answer! www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614513583

OCTOBER 12, 2016 WEDNESDAY 11 PM - AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IT ON MULBERRY STREET

Actually it was Ford Road at KRAZY HILDA'S parking lot. We were just arriving as two young couples were making the way back to their car. One of these couples was especially freaked out, but it had nothing to do with the obligatory chainsaw attack. The atmosphere was actually quite peaceful right there, and no monsters were present.

I asked the guy what happened and he said, "I almost had three heart attacks in there... they knew all my fears!"

Okay, we've seen plenty of people freaked out coming out of haunted houses through the years, but this was quite different. Most of those reactions we observed were immediately after people exited the haunt, often in hot pursuit by chainsaw wielding weirdos.

But this was several minutes after leaving the haunt. You have to walk back up a small hill to the parking lot, so there's plenty of time to cool down. But that's not what happened at all, and it was eye candy deluxe for us. Congratulations to KRAZY HILDA'S for nailing it big time!

OCTOBER 11, 2016 TUESDAY 11 PM - THE END OF AN ERA

We promised big news, and without further ado, here it is: THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC is closing up shop in Michigan and moving to Mississippi!

The exact timing hasn't been finalized yet, but it could be moving as soon as next year. If that's the case, this season is your very last chance to see this legendary amazing haunt in Michigan.

THE REALM OF DARKNESS has been critically acclaimed by multiple haunt review and rating services like HorrorLust and of course ZIOPTIS! And last year, THE REALM OF DARKNESS won top honors in the ZIOPTIS AWARDS section scoring SUPERNATURAL CERTIFIED SCARIEST HAUNT OF THE YEAR AWARD! www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

No doubt THE REALM OF DARKNESS will take Mississippi by storm! But we really shouldn't be surprised about this big move, because big people do big things... and this is massive.

So THE REALM OF DARKNESS will begin a new life, and thrill legions of new haunters down south. The haunt industry is a strange animal where the only constant is change, but that's cool because it makes it always exciting and always interesting!

OCTOBER 9, 2016 SUNDAY 3 AM - TAKE ME DOWN TO PARADISE CITY

It was love at first sight.

Last night at HUSH, our special guest from New York was instantly smitten with a most unusual actress the likes of which we've never seen at any haunt anywhere.

STRANGE BUT WONDERFUL

Her name is MERIT, and she is fabulously exotic! And when I mentioned to her that I wished our lovable waif friend CANDY FISHALOT could be here to see this, she reacted as if she personally knew her!

KINDRED SPIRITS / WHAT'S IN YOUR LEFT REAR POCKET?

So I gave a test and mentioned to MERIT about how CANDY likes to carry a dead fish in her left pocket at all times. We won't go into exactly how she proved herself, but suffice it to say that MERIT passed our test with flying colors!

C'mon Zioptis...how did she do it...how did she do it?

Never mind that part... we'll let your imagination fill in the blanks. Nah...better yet, just get your butt down to HUSH and see what's happening with the new show. It's killer!

JUST ONE MORE THING

No, it's not Columbo. No stinky cigars allowed.

It was me last night, trying to convince our friend from New York to take the time to go to one more haunt. It went something like this:

"Actually, I'm on a tight schedule...I need to get back to New York. And besides, it's a documentary about Cardio Drumming... NOT haunted houses!"

"But there's another way cool haunt like 10 minutes down the block on Ford Road here. We have the best haunted houses in Michigan, in fact DETROIT IS THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! Let me show you a little more of what's happening here..."

"Really, how could it compare to what we just experienced here at HUSH?"

"It's not like that...sure the haunts are competing with each other, but they're not comparing themselves to each other. They're different as night and day, but each of them does something incredible in their own way. This next one is actually a haunted forest called KRAZY HILDA'S."

"A haunted house in a forest? How can they do that?"

So off to KRAZY HILDA'S we went.

Little did we know the awesome surprise that would hit us the moment we arrived at HILDA'S. IT WAS FABULOUS!

TO BE CONTINUED...

OCTOBER 8, 2016 SATURDAY 4 PM - BIG APPLE DREAMING

We have a special guest from New York joining us tonight on our journey, but we'll only have time to go to one haunt.

So if you have an out-of-town guest and can only take them to one haunt, where do you go? That's a no-brainer. Just now when my partner and I asked ourselves that question, we agreed it would have to be THE REALM OF DARKNESS.

Rats! Unfortunately, due to travel and logistics considerations, we're not going to be able to hit the REALM and must stay closer to home tonight.

So where will we go? It's gotta be killer, that's for sure. Oh, I know! Stay tuned, my little monkeys...

OCTOBER 7, 2016 FRIDAY 3:30 PM - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE HAUNT WHERE...

...it costs $100 to get in, but you get $10 back for each room you make it through?

It sounds incredible, but there's one small problem. It's not real... this is an urban legend going way back that changes a little bit every year but always returns like zombies in pursuit of your soul.

Now what if I told you I knew of a haunted house where you could walk in, and perhaps walk out later with $1000 if you could prove yourself worthy? Or if you came as second banana in their contest walk out with $500?

It gets better folks, because this one is real! Check it out, it's THE REALM OF DARKNESS DEVILS NIGHT CHALLENGE.

This is going to be totally off the hook outrageously insane, and soon we'll be telling you about some big-time inside dope about REALM! Don't believe anything stupid you may have heard. We've got the inside story and we'll give it to you straight. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

OCTOBER 2, 2016 SUNDAY 3 AM - HOLY DIVER

No... not the Ronnie James Dio song, it was us last night at ROTTEN MANOR. We couldn't wait for church on Sunday, so we prayed with the nuns there last night.

Huh? Prayed that we make it out of this crazy place alive!

ROTTEN MANOR is one strange place. It appears to be run by nuns, because three of them are in charge of the ticket booth. But these are not your dad's nuns. They may look all prim and proper, but they're crankin' the TOOL on the PA! What would Mother Mary say? haha

There's been some big changes at Rotten Manor since last year, and we're predicting a very big future for this amazing haunt! (Review coming soon.)

Our apologies to THE REALM OF DARKNESS for missing them last night. But it's pretty cool to know there's people inside there right now having an amazing experience!

OCTOBER 1, 2016 SATURDAY 5 PM - THE GROWING ANTICIPATION

Last night we saw an angel at ABANDON HAUNTED HOUSE in MELVINDALE, and we got swept into a fit of musical madness at the HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME in INKSTER with an actress from beyond! You can't miss her - she's wearing a sparkling silver gown like a world renowned musician getting ready to play a recital at CARNEGIE HALL in NEW YORK CITY. Great stuff!

So what adventures await us tonight? We have no idea what they might be, but we can't wait to find out and report them back to you in our usual splashy style.

There's no telling what magic dials and secret buttons the haunt owners have been manipulating over since last season ended! We can't wait to see what insane creations and silly circumstances have been custom engineered to be presented in DETROIT - THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 7 PM - BLACK MOON RISING TONIGHT! / DANCING UNDER THE MOONLIT SKY

Check this out: here's a REALLY BIG NOTHING you can experience yourself tonight. I'm talking the Black Moon baby, and after tonight you won't get another chance to check this out for years.

It's a rare occasion when the second new moon in a month results in the dark side of the Moon being shown to us. That means you can have your very own BLACK MOON PARTY TONIGHT!

Get together with your friends and don't look at it, because there's nothing to see. It's a shared experience like no other!

Hey, wanna buy some tickets to the submarine races? I'll even give them to you half price. See? I'm a pal after all...

Check out the inside real dope here, but don't tell ANYBODY: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/30/black-moon-set-to-rise-tonight-in-rare-lunar-event---but-what-is/

FEBRUARY 1, 2016 MONDAY 11 PM - Just spotted this wild creative artwork, some of which would be right at home in a haunt! Check it out - short collection at www.bloodyloud.com/surreal-pop-art-todd-schorr/ or the full collection at www.ToddSchorr.com

NOVEMBER 14, 2015 SATURDAY 10 PM - CUTTING TO THE CHASE

You may have heard us mention before that THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC is actually haunted.

Rightfully, anyone should be wary of such claims unless you can personally see documented proof.

Now what if an actual big time church pastor were to tell his entire congregation about UNEXPLAINABLE SUPERNATURAL WEIRDNESS AT THE REALM OF DARKNESS AND SHOW THE VIDEO PROOF???

We'll post the full back story later and IT'S A DOOZIE but for now just check out the video on the following link called "Angels and Demons" from 11/7/15. Don't skip far ahead, as the really good part starts at about 2 minutes and 30 seconds

www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

NOVEMBER 8, 2015 SUNDAY 10 PM - YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP - PART 2 OF A 3 PART TRUE STORY

This is an amazing 3 part story, and we already told you part 1...but without some key details on purpose...and we'll get to those in a bit...

But first here's part 1 again: OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 3 PM - Can't say where...but we're involved in a video shoot tonight at a big time haunt in connection with a major organization.

And then OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - The video shoot went well, and final footage will be taken today...this is going to be seen by many thousands!

Now here's part 2, and I want you to experience this just as thousands already have. So imagine this for a moment - first we rewind to last Saturday night which was Halloween or the following Sunday morning...

You're going to a church service of all things, where they have a killer band and services on Saturday evening and Sunday morning. Sometimes the pastor's message is on giant video screens, and when service starts you see the video called The Battle of Unbelief from Oct. 31, 2015 which also appears at this website: www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

OCTOBER 31, 2014 FRIDAY 2:30 PM - LET THE SNOW HOWL

Did you ever plan to do something fun with your friends...and then some sort of EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCE HITS...but you go anyway and have the time of your life?

Down the road, those are the stories remembered the most and talked about as well.

It's just human nature...the prim-and-proper everything was perfect just as planned events never get re-told and embellished later on.

HOOTIN' AND HOWLIN' IN THE BLUSTERY SNOW - THE GLASS IS WAY MORE THAN HALF FULL

The weather for Halloween in Michigan and Ohio is horrible, with rain today and snow and howling winds later right during trick-or-treat time.

That's a good thing.

HUH?

At its' very core, Trick-or-Treating is far more about shared experiences than the sugar-fueled frenzy which fades quickly.

The shared experience of going out on Halloween despite the lousy weather will last far longer than the secret stash of Snickers bars...and then someday...it's like "Oh yeah? That's nothing...one time we actually went TRICK OR TREATING IN THE SNOW...there was gale force winds...nobody else went and we filled three pillow cases...except Freddie...he filled SIX pillow cases...they had to pump his stomach later..."

Thank you, Mother Nature.

* = We do realize they’re not technically IN Detroit, but in the same county and surrounding area so it’s considered the Detroit market. And like when EDDIE MONEY hits the stage at PINE KNOB, he doesn’t say “How you doin’ INDEPENDENCE TOWNSHIP?” Of course not, he says DETROIT...so we do too. Also, consider that THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS is now listed in THE HAUNT GUIDE, proving that indeed THE WORLD IS YOUR HOMETOWN

NOVEMBER - A VERY BIG CAN OF BEANS TO SPILL

Who record cover...EXIT 13 future plans...

Also open tonight is EXIT 13 in MT. MORRIS, a haunt that gives you a unique choice of whether or not TO BE TOUCHED BY THE MONSTERS! We said YES when we went last year! www.exit13hauntedhouse.com

OCTOBER 31, 2019 THURSDAY 8 AM - WE BAD WE NATIONWIDE

No, not ZZ TOP. It’s HAUNTED HOUSES!

They just showed a teaser on THE TODAY SHOW for the upcoming segment on the science behind fright. It showed a haunted attraction, and promised “hands on research!”

*********************************************************************

The logistics of putting on a killer haunt are staggering, and that reminds us of something we used to say over and over...

Once upon a time, when we were young and foolish, we used to give STAR RATINGS for haunts on a a scale of 1 - 5.

********************************************************

You can walk through the past, and get on board a train...oh wait, just remembered...you can get on a train, and even a ghost ship too at REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS in ROMULUS at HURON TURKEY FARM.

Many haunts have antiques in them, but you’ll never see a bigger collection of them in the area than here

**********************************************************************

OCTOBER 30, 2018 TUESDAY 2 AM - THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

No, not eating the kids Halloween candy. We already did that.

It was our second visit to THE HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME in INKSTER last night...can’t get enough of that old school!

Their mild mannered funeral home director is dressed impeccably in a custom-tailored suit. His gentle, kind words of reassurance prove quickly to lack any credibility as all hell breaks loose in a flash. GREAT STUFF!

OCTOBER 29, 2018, MONDAY 2 PM - A MONDAY NIGHT LIKE NO OTHER

“I don’t like Monday’s... TELL ME WHY... I don’t like Monday’s” goes the song by what’s-his-name...

And I get that.

Many people dread Monday’s because it means the end of the fun they just had at weekend events, parties and such...

But what if you could bring that same fun back on Monday Night???

THE NO-BRAINER FROM BEYOND

Now you can! For you, dear Zioptis reader, it’s not over because here’s the list of HAUNTS OPEN TONIGHT.

MONDAY NIGHT MONSTERS AWAIT at: AWAKEN, AZRA, THE CRYPT, EREBUS, EXIT 13, HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME, JACKSON’S UNDERWORLD, PHANTOM FOREST HAYRIDE, and ROTTEN MANOR!

OCTOBER 29, 2018 MONDAY 1 PM - Now being written: review for HAUNTED WOODS OF TERROR in CARO. See Reviews 2018_A.

Note - when you first select Reviews you’ll see BLUE TABS on the right of the page. These have not been enabled yet, after our much beleaguered website recovery process. However, you can access all reviews by clicking on THE LEFT SIDE of the page.

OCTOBER 29, 2018 MONDAY 12 NOON - LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Boo hoo! The haunting season is drawing to a close soon, but the memories of many wild shared experiences will remain long after the last SNICKERS BAR has made its way into the sewage system!

GOOD TO THE LAST DROP

However, some haunts aren’t done yet and we’ll compile a list of them soon.

DIGITAL REDEMPTION

Last year we had a major disappointment that we were determined not to repeat, when we lost some primo pics of HUSH to a memory card failure.

So last night we immediately copied all the pics we got onto the computer, and we already posted a few on the HUSH FACEBOOK PAGE.

The new show at HUSH is excellent, and lived up to what everyone was telling us about this highly dynamic young haunt. Their passion for the haunt genre is exceeded perhaps only by the massive crowds that descend like locusts here!

The setup is brilliant, with spectacular visuals outside as well as in. There’s multiple perches on top of the building from which monsters entertain the queue line, and throw haunted goodies down to them.

We got excellent high resolution pics of this, but ditched the camera before touring the haunt so as not to detract from the experience.

We love haunting! And you do too, or you wouldn’t be reading this now. Stay tuned, lots more still to come...

OCTOBER 29, 2018 MONDAY 11 AM - OUT OF MY MIND ON MONDAY MOANIN’

What a long, strange trip it’s been...and that was just last night!

HUSH was such a blast, and we talked to so many people...staff and happy haunters...that we never made it to AWAKEN. Our apologies to them.

Lots more to tell you, but first up is a date with the coffee machine. My partner bought some TRADER JOE’S PUMPKIN SPICE COFFEE that’s super delicious...back in a few...

OCTOBER 28, 2018 SUNDAY 6 PM - OH WHERE, OH WHERE HAS MY LITTLE DOG GONE?

Just lamenting some of our favorite haunts that are now lost, or trying to find their way back...so many, but first on the list has to be THE REALM OF DARKNESS and THE HAUNTING.

THE BONE YARD is sorely missed too, as well as SINISTER, ERWIN’S BARN OF HORRORS and TERRORTOWN in TOLEDO.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD had become our unofficial HALLOWEEN PARTY NIGHT destination, and we always had a blast at McCURDY’S REVENGE and HAUNTED HALLOWS in WESTLAND as well as HAUNTED HOLLOWS in ARMADA.

Not quite as bad but still a bummer is the hiatus of 3 fabulous haunts: CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE in FLINT, KRAZY HILDA’S in YPSILANTI and ST. LUCIFER’S HAUNTED ASYLUM in GRAND BLANC. We hope to see them all back next year!

WITH HIS EARS CUT SHORT & HIS TAIL CUT LONG, OH WHERE, OH WHERE CAN HE BE?

There’s lots more (see “Closed”) but one last haunt to mention now that will always hold a very special place in our heart: DEADLY INTENTIONS in WARREN was over-the-top ultra wacky, with an army of unique recurring characters like Morbid Melvin who wore a beanie-copter hat.

DEADLY INTENTIONS embodied the true spirit of haunting. The creator HOWARD ERLICH went to MUTILATION MANSION as a kid, and became a haunt actor immediately after the first time he went through!

Howard went on to provide A QUARTER CENTURY OF HAUNTING EXCELLENCE, and was once awarded HAUNT OF THE YEAR by THE GORE GUIDE which was created by our old friend and comrade in arms JOHN POE.

OCTOBER 28, 2018 SUNDAY 4 PM - A TALL HAZELNUT WITH CREAM

A jolt of java never hurts in preparation for an EPIC NIGHT OF HAUNTING!

There’s LOTS of Detroit Market Haunts still open tonight including:

AWAKEN, AZRA, BESTMAZE, BLAKE’S, BONADEO FARMS, THE CRYPT, DERANGED, THE EDSON INCIDENT, EREBUS, EXIT 13, HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME, THE HAUNT, HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS, HUSH, JACKSON’S UNDERWORLD, NIGHT TERRORS AT WIARD’S, ROTTEN MANOR, SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK, THE SCREAM MACHINE, SLAUGHTERED AT SUNDOWN, SLAUGHTERHOUSE, and TERRORFIED FOREST & MANOR

ALVIN TOFLER WAS RIGHT, YOU KNOW

Wow, that’s quite a selection...and it reminds me of something I read long ago in a book called FUTURE SHOCK.

This Alvin dude is basically predicting the future, and one thing he says will make things difficult is “OVERCHOICE.”

Go to the drug store in ANY CITY, USA and you’ll see it running rampant. There’s like 20 varieties of what you’re looking for!

But this being DETROIT, THE WORLD CAPITAL OF HAUNTED HOUSES, we have our own SPECIAL OVERCHOICE situation right now.

A NICE PROBLEM TO HAVE

Above, we’ve listed TWENTY THREE HAUNTS OPEN TONIGHT!

On top of all that, to help close out the 2018 season with a bang:

DARKSYDE ACRES is closed tonight but open NOV. 2 & 3

EREBUS is open every day until & including Halloween and NOV. 2 & 3

THE HAUNT is also open OCT. 30 & 31

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR is also open OCT. 29 & 30

HUSH is also open OCT. 30 & 31 and NOV. 2 & 3

OCTOBER 28, 2018 SUNDAY 4 AM - THE IRRESISTIBLE SAD PUPPY DOG

Last night’s plans to hit HUSH were put on hold yet again by of all things a whimpering pooch...sorta.

My partner couldn’t make it out last night, so I forged ahead without her.

First stop was a 2nd visit to DERANGED in ROMULUS, and it was much improved since our 1st visit there on opening night...HOORAY! A steady stream of happy haunters came despite the wet weather.

Then off to HUSH, who we already tried twice to attend.

RING! RING! My cell went off...my anxious partner was calling:

“Yeah, I’m at HUSH right now...it’s totally bonkers!”

“Really? What’s it like there?”

“There’s hundreds of people waiting in line, and I asked several ecstatic groups that were leaving what they thought...thumbs up across the board. The radio station is here broadcasting live...nobody cares about the rain...it’s off the hook crazy...”

“WAH! (whimpering) You’re going to HUSH without me???” (more whimpering)

“Well...”

“Look, it’s bad enough we can’t go to TERRORTOWN anymore...WAH! (still more whimpering) Let me check...they’re open Sunday night...I wanna come too...”

“Sheesh! You gals only have one thing on your mind...get your mind out of the gutter already! Hey, I’m more than just a sausage with 2 legs attached...I’m a sensitive guy with feelings...I pick flowers...”

“Shut up, Dill! (one of her nicknames for me) Let’s go to HUSH first thing tomorrow night...maybe we can still hit AWAKEN after that. We can get on the freeway real easy...” (end of call)

My fate was sealed. After all, who can resist throwing a bone to a whimpering puppy dog? (;

OCTOBER 27, 2018 SATURDAY 4 PM - STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH

We love talking to haunt operators, especially after they’ve just WOWED US!

Usually we have to make it short and sweet, in order to make it to the next haunt on time.

However, if it’s the last haunt for the night we can kick back and relax.

And so it was last night at EXIT 13...

The operators were quick to ask us if we’d been to ROTTEN MANOR in HOLLY and HUSH in WESTLAND, which we have not.

ROTTEN MANOR stormed into the Detroit haunt market in 2015, and could easily someday become the PREMIER MEGA HAUNT IN THE DETROIT HAUNT MARKET.

They also told us HUSH has upped its game dramatically, and totally reinvented itself for 2018.

Previous WESTLAND plans including HUSH and the new PANIC were thwarted twice, and a blown furnace ruined earlier plans to hit ROTTEN MANOR.

We’ve been following both of these closely since they started, and can’t wait to see what wild and crazy stuff they’re up to!

OCTOBER 27, 2018 SATURDAY 3 PM - BREAKING THE SILENCE, AT LONG LAST!

Thanks for believing in us, even during our extended forced absence during the transition from our old XP computer that died to a new one...

Just checked the website hit list and was surprised to see lots of you were still logging on, even before we regained uploading capability.

Too long for here on the main page - the current hit list has been copied and pasted into “Archives 33.”

OCTOBER 27, 2018 SATURDAY 2 PM - REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE...

No, not like the Telephone Company would have you do...

It was EXIT 13 in MOUNT MORRIS (near Flint) last night, the final haunt of 3 we hit last night...

At most haunts, the beginning statement before entering goes something like: “The monsters will not touch you, please do not touch them.”

But EXIT 13 is the HANDS ON HAUNT that DOES touch you...wait, make that GRAB YOU as they shake your soul and rattle your guts!

(However this is optional. If you’re a scardy cat you can wear glow ware that alerts the actors not to touch you.)

DEEP IN THE FOREST, ALONE WITH YOUR FEARS...AND TONS OF MONSTERS

Our first stop last night was WICKED WOODS OF TERROR in CARO, and they got us in every possible way from every possible place! We saw firsthand why another haunt operator said we had to check this out...

After that, we went to the EDSON INCIDENT in BAY CITY...WOWSER! It’s like...the naturally existing ambiance is off-the-charts to begin with...so it’s easy to CRANK IT TO ELEVEN and they did, BIG TIME!

OCTOBER 26, 2018 FRIDAY 1 PM - AHOY THERE MATEY!

We just talked to the operator of THE EDSON INCIDENT in BAY CITY (also on tonight’s schedule) and there’s lots of changes for 2018 that are keeping the crowds big and the scares intense!

They blew us away when we saw them for the first time last year - see Reviews 2017_A.

OCTOBER 26, 2018 FRIDAY 12 NOON - THE HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION

Let’s say you’re having a delicious dinner at JOHNSON’S STEAK HOUSE. Everything is great, so you compliment the chef.

But before you leave, the chef says, “Thanks a lot! But the next time you eat out, you really should go to GARY’S GIZZARDS.”

Well, that’s what happened to us recently.

But it wasn’t a restaurant. We just made up those names.

It was a super successful haunt, and they told us we really should go to WICKED WOODS OF TERROR in CARO.

Hmmm...we’ve had recommendations like this before that we wisely followed and were never disappointed.

THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN (gone now) told us to go to GHOSTLY MANOR in SANDUSKY, OHIO and THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR told us to go to THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS.

Wet weather hindered our previous efforts to hit WICKED WOODS OF TERROR, but tonight wild horses couldn’t keep us away! This haunt is the centerfold darling of THE HAUNT GUIDE for 2018...they must be doing something right! (;

OCTOBER 25, 2018 THURSDAY 11 PM - NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T

One of the earliest remaining ORIGINAL HAUNTED HOUSES is now just a pile of garbage.

Every year we made a pilgrimage to this haunt, on Dix at the Lincoln Park Community Center...

And this is a haunt that predates even THE HAUNTED GALLERY (which eventually became EREBUS) and HOUSE OF NIGHTMARES (which eventually became REALM OF DARKNESS).

We’re talking about ANXIETY ALLEY, and it was just a few trailers thrown together by THE JAYCEE’S.

WHEN LESS IS MORE

It was as stripped down basic old school as you can imagine. One example: an actor hiding in the dark holding a paper bag and a flashlight lights himself up and pops the bag while yelling “BOO!”

Nothin’ fancy, but it introduced several generations of kids to the THRILL OF HAUNTING.

Early haunts like this, and MUTILATION MANSION* in MADISON HEIGHTS are largely responsible for the very existence of the haunted attraction genre!

When we couldn’t find ANXIETY ALLEY, we did some checking and found that the severely worn out trailers were finally disposed of.

* = See more about MUTILATION MANSION in the post below: “OCTOBER 21, 2018 SUNDAY 9 PM - FOX FINALLY GETS IT RIGHT, SORTA”

OCTOBER 25, 2018 THURSDAY 4 PM - WRECKING BALL MEETS ICONIC HAUNT

We didn’t see this one coming, but NO haunt lasts forever... ):

(Stay tuned, coming later this evening!)

OCTOBER 25, 2018 THURSDAY 3:30 PM - DECISIONS, DECISIONS...

There’s still SO many haunts we’d love to hit, but time is running short...

Usually by now we’ve hit at least 20 haunts, but this season has been hindered by unforeseen difficulties including a furnace that died and a family member in the hospital...

And last year we missed BLAKE’S, HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR and SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK...have great stories from all of these...

And DARKSYDE ACRES seems to be beckoning...and we heard THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS (now actually in nearby Wyoming) is KILLER!

JACKSON’S UNDERWORLD is a behemoth that we love so much we went for 8 years straight...

Also, we heard that AWAKEN in LESLIE has upped its game big time since last year...and that’s less than 10 miles from SHAWHAVEN FARM in MASON where we always had a blast! (see various reviews)

We were super bummed last week, when we planned our rescheduled visit to PANIC in WESTLAND...only to find short-sighted city officials blew it and ordered them closed mid-season.

MAJOR DUH...for the city officials.

Do not the same city officials know of the other haunted attraction HUSH which also is in Westland?

If these same city officials were scheduling permits for, say a Christmas event, would they come to them a couple weeks before December 25th and say, “Okay, show’s over! Pack it up and leave NOW.”

OCTOBER 24, 2018 WEDNESDAY 10 PM - BACK IN ACTION, FINALLY! BUT...

The BLUE LINKS on the right in Reviews haven’t been enabled yet. In the meantime, you can click on the LEFT of the page to find various years - oldest on top so 2018 appears at the bottom of the list...another unfortunate oddity but oh wellski...

Sorry for the inconvenience, also we need to change the colors on the left tabs so they’re easy to read...and the retro main page image will be back!

So much more to say...but frazzled from hours on the phone with the website host and such...persistence is a virtue and we were bound and determined to get the program working on the new computer!!!

OCTOBER 24, 2018 WEDNESDAY 9 PM - HOORAY, WE’RE BAAACK!

FINALLY, after much difficulty, we can add new content to the site. It’s been supremely frustrating, after the original computer used for this site since 1999 died. (gory details in “News”)

A million thanks to Webmaster Billy G for helping us through a most difficult transition!

There’s some oddities now like periods, commas and such that appear by themselves at the beginning of a line, and the margins need adjusting.

But at least we’re once again LIVE FROM THE DEAD ZONE OF HAUNTING!

OCTOBER 21, 2018 SUNDAY 9 PM - FOX FINALLY GETS IT RIGHT, SORTA

Fox TV animated Halloween shows from THE SIMPSON’S and BOB’S BURGERS just aired, and something really caught our ears in BOB’S BURGERS right before we were about to shut it off.

The dialogue mentions going to a scary place called MUTILATION MANSION.

Wait a second, how did they come up with that name? Is one the writers from Michigan?

MUTILATION MANSION was to our knowledge the VERY FIRST HAUNTED HOUSE / ATTRACTION which ran from 1966 - 2006 in MADISON HEIGHTS, MICHIGAN.

It was just a few tractor trailers thrown together by THE JAYCEE’S, but it changed the face of Halloween forever creating a new dimension of fun & excitement the likes of which they never imagined!

Back to the TV show...later, with great anticipation they go to said MUTILATION MANSION. Some of them chicken out, but the others go in and live to brag about it after surviving various haunt scares depicted. They didn’t use the exact words “haunted house” but the intent is clear.

COMING FULL CIRCLE

Hmmm...MADISON HEIGHTS is where it all started...

And NOW... again we have a haunted house in MADISON HEIGHTS, AZRA CHAMBER OF HORRORS HAUNTED HOUSE and it’s way killer with a special thrill right at the end!

Life is good.

OCTOBER 21, 2018 SUNDAY 2 PM - DOUBLE WOWSER IN THE BIG “D”

Saturday night was fabulous!

2 haunts we’ve never seen before both blew us away with spirit and creativity - HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS in GROSSE POINTE FARMS and AZRA CHAMBER OF HORRORS HAUNTED HOUSE in MADISON HEIGHTS. They were both totally off the hook!

People from vastly different backgrounds made these haunts.

One is a retired school teacher, the other a pair of young entrepreneurs...

THE FURTHER WE REACH OUT THE CLOSER WE BECOME

But they share that common vision & passion for craziness that brings us all together even as we expand outwards from Detroit, the most competitive haunt market in the world!

OCTOBER 20, 2018 SATURDAY 4 PM - NEW KID IN TOWN

Tonight we’re off to AZRA CHAMBER OF HORRORS HAUNTED HOUSE in MADISON HEIGHTS and HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS in GROSSE POINTE FARMS.

AZRA is brand new this year, making it a priority and HAUNTED GARAGE is in their 11th year but we’ve never been there yet. Shame on us, a thousand lashes with a wet noodle...it doesn’t hurt but it’s awfully annoying!

OCTOBER 20, 2018 SATURDAY 2 PM - FISTS IN THE AIR / FAIRIES IN THE SKY

A ROCK CONCERT BROKE OUT Friday night at NIGHT TERRORS AT WIARD’S in YPSILANTI!

From a side angle, that’s exactly what it looked it...music blasting, people rushing the stage shaking their fists in the air keeping beat...

But “the band” was actually the next KARAOKE SINGER and this guy tore it up big time - somebody get that kid on THE VOICE!

HOW’S THE WEATHER UP THERE?

There’s a couple of characters roaming the grounds of WIARD’S that will knock your socks off!

You can’t miss them...they’re both EIGHT FEET TALL!

There’s a FAIRY PRINCESS and a KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR that both have custom LED costumes to die for.

It was all so cool...RATS! We never made it to THE PUMPKIN FACTORY in BELLEVILLE - our apologies to them.

SEPTEMBER 24, 2018 MONDAY 2 PM - WHERE THE ONLY CONSTANT IS CHANGE

Every year there’s changes in the haunt industry. It’s just the nature of the beast...where do we even start?

Let’s begin with the big one - THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS has changed hands and has a new location. We knew the lease was up last year for the Waldorf building where they operated - they had a 15 year lease.

We went to THE HAUNT last year to see their SWAN SONG, and it was fabulous~! Got lots of great pics too with a Sony RX-100, yet to be released on our Flickr account. *

Other changes: KRAZY HILDA’S, ST. LUCIFER’S and CLIO MANOR HH are on hiatus this year. We look forward to seeing them again in the future!

DEADLANDS HAUNTED HOUSE in WARREN is gone and will be missed, a sad reminder that nothing man-made lasts forever...

* = Here’s the link to our photo stream albums - look for “Haunted Attraction Stuff” - www.flickr.com/photos/45316911@N03/albums

Rats, can’t get the link to work so try this - go to www.flickriver.com and find the search bar on top, select “users” and enter the name sonicmadness (one word) then click on sonicmadness, then click on “albums.”

SEPTEMBER 22, 2018 SATURDAY 11 PM - TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE

Tonight we hit the TERRORFIED FOREST & MANOR in PINCKNEY, which has evolved yet again after changing hands a few years ago. It’s still killer!

SEPTEMBER 21, 2018 FRIDAY 11 PM - OFF AND RUNNING!

YAY! Many haunts opened tonight, and we hit THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR which we barely recognized!

They still have the HELLEVATOR and BLACK HOLE and a bit from before but basically, they told us it’s 90% new this year!

It’s still on ECORSE ROAD just off TELEGRAPH.

NOVEMBER 18, 2017 SATURDAY 1 AM - GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Just updated: "Closed" where we list haunts that now R.I.P.!

The total now is 66...sigh...the list grows every year but that's okay because nothing lasts forever and there's also new haunts every year!

NOVEMBER 12, 2017 SUNDAY 11 PM - NOTHIN' BUT THE FACTS, MA'AM..

So much to tell you about the haunts we visited this year! Usually we post reviews as we go along, but sadly that wasn't an option this year.

To start with, here's a list of the haunts we visited in 2017:

1. CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE, FLINT

2. ST. LUCIFER'S, FLINT

3. 13 FEET UNDER, FLINT

4. HAUNTING IN THE HILLS, IRISH HILLS

5. JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD, JACKSON

6. ROTTEN MANOR, HOLLY

7. TERRORFIED FOREST & MANOR, PINCKNEY

8. SLAUGHTERHOUSE, FOWLERVILLE

9. HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION, WESTLAND

10. HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME, INKSTER

11. WYANDOTTE JAYCEE'S KINDRED, WYANDOTTE

12. NIGHTSTALKERS, SAGINAW

13. GOREGROUNDS / HAUNTED ELEMENTARY, BRIDGEPORT

14. WILD WOODS OF TERROR, KOCHVILLE TWP.

15. PHANTOM FOREST HAYRIDE, GROSSE ILE

16. THE SCREAM MACHINE, TAYLOR

17. HOUSE OF DAMNATION, MAUMEE, OHIO

18. HAUNTED PLANET EXPERIENCE ASYLUM OF HORRORS, MAUMEE, OHIO

19. KRAZY HILDA'S, YPSILANTI

20. NIGHT TERRORS AT WIARD'S, YPSILANTI

21. THE HAUNT, GRAND RAPIDS

22. THE EDSON INCIDENT, BAY CITY

23. REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS, ROMULUS

NOVEMBER 5, 2017 SUNDAY 2 AM - ATOMIC BOOM FINALE!

We had an incredible last night of haunting at EDSON INCIDENT in BAY CITY. This haunt is on a military vessel that's 418 feet long! More later...

NOVEMBER 4, 2017 SATURDAY 2 PM - THE FAT LADY SINGS

Tonight is your very last chance to go haunting this season!

But let's rewind now to the start of the season when we were forced off-the-air...happened to see an item on FOX TV 2 NEWS IN DETROIT about the triumphant return of STUART MacDONALD to ADRIAN for a 2 day stint with his new magic show!

WOW! We wanted badly to go to his show...we miss this guy so much, and what he brought to the haunt scene...but those pesky logistics got in the way...

Back to the TV article, it gets better...he did a mind-blowing trick, then came the announcement that STU would be on PENN & TELLER'S FOOL US TV SHOW in a few weeks.

We haven't seen the episode yet, but the operator of HAUNTED PLANET EXPERIENCE did and was as happy as a pig in...uh, slop...to tell us that STUART MacDONALD DID INDEED FOOL PENN & TELLER on NATIONWIDE TV!

We always thought this guy was not too shabby...so Stuart, if you're out there...way to go, dude...and I don't care WHAT your relatives say about you, you're OKAY in our book. Just don't get a big head on us now because of all this bigtime hoopla and such! ;) haha

In case all this is Greek to you, in a nutshell STUART MacDONALD is a famed magician who created the now defunct THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN. (see "Closed" for more)

EAST COAST TV took Stuart away from us when THE HAUNTING suddenly shuttered without notice years ago, in a dramatic way befitting a master trickster.

NOVEMBER 3, 2017 FRIDAY 6 AM - HAPPY FRIDAY!

I can't believe it...the haunting is not over yet! We can't wait to check out the EDSON INCIDENT in BAY CITY aboard an old Vietnam era battle ship! NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE on the BOB-LO BOAT is long gone, but this looks like a BIG WINNER too...check this out: www.edsonincident.com

GOOD TO THE LAST DROP!

And there's other haunts open too this weekend; see the list in "What's Next."

Don't forget to tune back at the end of the year for a special report.

Plus, we'll be SPILLING THE BEANS about JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD before then. Trust us, this is going to be really big and super spectacular!

OCTOBER 31, 2017 TUESDAY 11 PM - WHEN THE PARTY'S OVER, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS

Wow, 230 pieces of candy went in a flash...and the wind died down so I brought out a fog machine after all...all the kids were super cute as usual...and THEN...this is so cool...

One of our trick or treaters had a costume that ESPECIALLY caught our eyes...check this out...her shirt and her jacket both said EREBUS!

pause...Hmmm...check this statement from the earlier 6 PM posting:

"In a way, I'm glad...not for the twisted foot of course...but to see the smiling faces on Superman and Superwoman and whoever else shows up..."

Anyway, back to the story...what a cool sight! I told her "Oh My God! I wanted SO bad to go to EREBUS tonight but my plans fell through." Then she says she worked there before...and it went somewhere like this...

"So I was supposed to go to EREBUS tonight, right? Okay, but I didn't make it and now I've got an EREBUS ACTOR RIGHT HERE instead? What are the chances of that! haha "You runnin' some PSYCHIC MUMBO JUMBO on me or somethin'?" haha (-: "What kind of monster did you play?" and so on...

It was a completely different Halloween than we envisioned...but looking back I wouldn't have it any other way! Sometimes when things go wrong, something else goes right instead... Not very often, but we'll take it!

OCTOBER 31, 2017 TUESDAY 6 PM - WHAT A DEAL...

I can't believe it! The Great Pumpkin is not smiling on us this Halloween..

So after a wild night in Grand Rapids last night, we were all set to finish off tonight at THE HAUNTED WINERY in FARMINGTON and EREBUS in PONTIAC.

My partner and I are in the best physical condition we've been in for years...she works out 3-4 days a week and I work out 6-7 days a week...we plowed through I don't even know how many haunts this year...thru forests and all kinds of tricky passages with moving floors and such...

Never did we have a single problem...UNTIL...this morning my partner woke up with her right leg asleep...nature calling...OH NO! She stumbled and landed with toes curled under on front...OUCH! Possibly a broken toe.

She's out of commission, so we're handing out candy tonight to the local youngsters. We set up an impromptu light show with black lights, strobes, and colored lights...too windy for fog machines though...but we'll be crankin' the TOD DOCKSTADER on the sound system to set the mood. More about TOD DOCKSTADER later...

In a way, I'm glad...not for the twisted foot of course...but to see the smiling faces on Superman and Superwoman and whoever else shows up.

So HAPPY HALLOWEEN to you and yours, and tune in soon for a full list of all the haunts we visited this year along with mini-reviews until we can re-do the website on a newer version (which will be no easy task...we already tried once).

OCTOBER 31, 2017 TUESDAY 2 PM - TELL ME A STORY, DADDY!

Back in 2013 when we went to THE HAUNTED HYDRO in FREMONT, OHIO, Crazy Bob inspired me to finish a Halloween theme story that had been on my mind...

It's now posted in the "News" section.

OCTOBER 30, 2017 MONDAY 3 PM - SAILING THE HIGH SEAS OF MADNESS

Who remembers the NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE? It was a haunt aboard an old BOB-LO BOAT, and it was primo!

Well, here's another haunt aboard a really large Vietnam era ship in BAY CITY. It's the EDSON INCIDENT, and they are open next weekend! (but not tonight)

We're going for sure, and you'll probably want to as well when you lookie here: www.edsonincident.com

OCTOBER 30, 2017 MONDAY 2:30 PM - DEVIL'S NIGHT DELIGHTS

We're headed into the home stretch, but there's lots of primo haunting available!

Tonight we're off to GRAND RAPIDS to THE HAUNT. Shame on us for missing them the last couple years...a thousand lashes with a wet noodle! (It doesn't hurt, but it's awfully annoying.)

OCTOBER 30, 2017 MONDAY 5 AM - INDUSTRY TITANS ON THE MOVE

Big news this year with THE REALM OF DARKNESS and THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS...

REALM moved to Mississippi after it changed hands, and the lease is up at THE HAUNT'S Waldorf Street location so it's their last year there.

What will happen with THE HAUNT? Will they return somewhere else?

We can't say right now, but in the meantime it's a priority to visit THE HAUNT this season! www.the-haunt.com

If you've never experienced THE HAUNT, the clock is ticking. This is a haunt that was first recommended to us by the owner of THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR! How's THAT for an endorsement?!

OCTOBER 29, 2017 SUNDAY 10 PM - CAN YOU KEEP A GIANT TRADE SECRET?

Actually, it doesn't matter...because we're not going to tell you exactly what it is...yet...but here's a hint, and it's about JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD in JACKSON. www.jxcunderworld.com

There's something MAJOR in the works right now inside their ridiculously giant four story building...but we never reveal things ahead of the operator's schedule so we can only say this for now:

When we spill the beans...and not that far from now...you're going to want to go to JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD before next haunt season... AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED! (and thankful to Zioptis of course) haha

OCTOBER 29, 2017 SUNDAY 9:30 PM - WILD WEEKEND BLITZ!

There's been just SO MUCH we've wanted to tell you, but couldn't due to an old XP system computer that died after 16 years...new computer not compatible...it's been a real life nightmare trying to get back ON THE AIR...but persistance is a virtue and we made it!

Sadly, we can't add new review tabs for this year yet...working on a temp fix...but a million thanks to our webmaster's g-friend for loaning us her XP COMPUTER that we need to run this program.

WE'RE JUST SO GLAD TO FINALLY BE BACK! So...onward, HAUNTED SOLDIERS...time to report, SIR! YES SIR!

Friday, we hit OHIO to check out the new show from HAUNTED PLANET EXPERIENCE which moved from TOLEDO to MAUMEE (nearby) and somehow has become an ASYLUM... and it's CRAZY INSANE!

It gets better, there's ANOTHER NEW KID IN TOWN...also only a few years old...also in MAUMEE, it's HOUSE OF DAMNATION. They have a special crew of creatures that pulls off some of the biggest and baddest crowd pleasing stunts we've ever seen, and their LIQUID SKY is to die for!

Sincere apologies for missing GHOSTLY MANOR in SANDUSKY, OHIO. This is a haunt that another haunt owner urged us to check out years ago!!! Enough said.

Then, on Saturday we hit THE PUMPKIN FACTORY in BELLEVILLE, KRAZY HILDA'S in YPSILANTI and WIARD'S NIGHT TERRORS in YPSILANTI. All three were packed with happy haunters, totally stoked on that certain crazy energy that only haunted houses can deliver!

We hitÂ WIARD'S last on Saturday night, and WHAT A BLAST! Then chattin' up the crowd a bit...time to cruise...now it's 1 AM...so we're cruisin' back down FORD ROAD into CANTON and then into WESTLAND...and...OH! what a sight...

HOW FABULOUS! There's still several hundred people waiting excitedly to experience the NEW SHOW AT HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION!!!

OH NO! I don't have my camera...and even worse...

On the night of our official visit to HUSH (we've been known to go twice), before going thru the haunt we got some KILLER PHOTOS with a high resolution DSLR of the energy at the haunt. YAY! Can't wait to post them on the HUSH Facebook page later...but NO!!!

Sadly, the memory card failed when trying to load the pics into our new computer...adding yet another DIGITAL FAILURE to this year's efforts to help promote the haunt scene. But we're going to take the card to Westborn Camera in Dearborn and pray they can retrieve the images. Sigh...once again...HELP MR. WIZARD!!!

Lots more to tell you soon...stand by my little monkeys...

OCTOBER 29, 2017 SUNDAY 6:30 PM - TEST PUBLISH

We've had severe computer problems preventing us from uploading this season. Please stand by...

OCTOBER 29, 2016 SATURDAY 4 PM - AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IT AT KROGER LAST NIGHT

Okay, it was actually two nights ago... 11:30 PM and time for an EMERGENCY TURKEY HILL RUN TO KROGER before they close at midnight...some employees were already ALL DECKED OUT in their HALLOWEEN BEST COSTUMES.

Of course I had to tease them like bratty younger siblings... so as items are being scanned... "Wow, jumping the gun a bit for Halloween are we? What kind of candy are you giving out?" haha giggle giggle "OH NO! I NEED A NUTRAGEOUS RIGHT NOW." (I start fake sobbing and she responds with an obvious lack of sympathy)

"Nope, you're out of luck on that one." "Sigh...you mean to tell me...so you're this big time cashier here...hundreds of thousands of dollars running through your greedy little mitts...but how much of that do I get?" "NOTHING!" "Why can't I get my cut? My fair share should be at least a couple G's don't you think?" haha giggle giggle

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN YOU SILLY GIRL, carry on and don't forget to support your local, neighborhood haunted house or The Great Pumpkin himself will hunt you down like a dog and remove your limbs." "REALLY? The Great Pumpkin?" "I have connections...I shouldn't tell you this but I'm with the ZIOPTIS HAUNTED HOUSE HOTLINE." (handed her a Zioptis HHH card)

OCTOBER 29, 2016 SATURDAY 4 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSYDE

WOW! We barely recognized DARKSYDE ACRES since we last saw it in 2012, and it's all good...we loved the snarky, creative actors...and their makeup and costumes are all top flight!

BIGGER, BADDER, BETTER!

JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD has a new 3D full length attraction, painted by the owner's son! A clown theme provides the backdrop for some really wild and REALLY LARGE artwork that FLIES off the wall and floats in the air. It's an eerie feeling that's bursting with bright, happy flourescent colors glowing brightly under scores of blacklights...

OCTOBER 28, 2016 FRIDAY 4 PM - A HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR

We just had an excellent long talk with the show manager at WIARD'S ORCHARDS NIGHT TERRORS in YPSILANTI and you won't believe what they just did!

First of all real quick...we truly admire how many haunts are able to reinvent themselves year after year and that's great... but check this out...the WIARD'S HAYRIDE has just been revamped midseason! There's new makeup/characters, new scenes, new lines, and new audio soundtracks. So essentially...even if you saw it before, you ain't seen nothin' yet! www.HauntedHouseMichigan.com

CARPE DIEM, BABY!

After getting feedback from people as they're leaving the hayride WIARD'Sstarted brainstorming how to CRANK THE CRAZINESS TO ELEVEN... everything starts as an idea after all... oh and check this out one of the main new scenes this year in the hayride was thought of just a couple days before opening day of the season... it was nip and tuck but was finally ready five minutes before show time! For you haunt operators out there...does any of this sound familiar? Haha

OCTOBER 27, 2016 THURSDAY 3 PM - Just looking at the website for DARKSYDE ACRES, and their blog is hilarious! Humor goes great with haunting, check this out - www.darksydeacres.com/blog

OCTOBER 17, 2016 MONDAY 1 AM - THINKING OUTSIDE THE BIG BOX

Okay... we've been gushing over some of the big guns in the industry and rightfully so. These are some amazing productions, and it's some superhuman stuff to pull this off. We've seen Sky Trackers, cranes, and all sorts of amazing machinery used in haunts.

But the big gun haunts are only part of the picture, so now it's time to gush about two haunts that very likely did not have thousands upon thousands of visitors last Saturday night.

You might say these are more like your mom and pop haunted houses, yet they can be counted on to deliver the goods. Even better, they're both in Western Wayne County and make an awesome two-fer haunt journey.

We're talking about REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS in ROMULUS and NIGHTMARE ON HARRIS STREET at THE PUMPKIN FACTORY in BELLEVILLE.

REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS has an amazing miniature city on the grounds, and can be the source of many adventures all on its own. There's a ghost ship that can be boarded, as well as a train and much more.

And the haunt? IT'S KILLER...EVERYTIME. Not only that, but FRANKENSTEIN HIMSELF has taken up residence here. What better endorsement could you possibly hope for? (see various archived reviews)

The ticket booth building at REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS is a show in itself, and also sports some amazingly tasty vittles that you won't be able to stop eating once you start! Here's their info - 18910 Merriman Road, Romulus, MI 48174 phone # (734) 753-9187

NIGHTMARE ON HARRIS STREET is celebrating 40 YEARS IN BUSINESS!!! Hmmm...they must be doing something right. ;)

The main feature at NIGHTMARE is a hayride with lots of original artwork and some really cool twists. As you make your way onto the grounds, you get an inkling of what you're in for, because the resident witch lives in a small house there. Step right up and look closely inside if you dare, but please be advised she is authorized to maim and kill stalkers and Peeping Tom's.

Oh yeah... THE PUMPKINS! There's hundreds if not thousands of them!

And their main building has a really cool store as well as world class food served up at a great price. Hey, vigorous haunting requires proper sustenance! One awesome entry we never would have expected was stuffed cabbage soup to rival that of any Polish restaurant!

But back to the pumpkins. This is a pumpkin farm after all...you can find the one that's just right for you and your jack-o'-lantern plans. And their pumpkin pie is to die for fabulous and brought them nationwide recognition in a major magazine article about Michigan!

There's no fancy website or social media accounts, but who needs spinning graphics when you're already going strong at 40 years running?! Here's their info - NIGHTMARE ON HARRIS STREET, 48651 Harris, Belleville, MI 48111 phone # (734) 461-1835

OCTOBER 16, 2016 SUNDAY 3 PM - THE MASTERS TOUCH

OMG! I just looked at the photo gallery on the website of THE REALM OF DARKNESS...WOW... the colors... the designs... the astonishing makeup...the widely varying emotions invoked... the theatrical quality sets...the ridiculously insane attention to detail. You see new things every time you go through! Lookie here - http://therealmofdarkness.com/gallery/

If you've never been to a top-level professional haunt of this caliber, you owe it to yourself to get your butt over to THE REALM OF DARKNESS. You might even win a thousand bucks (or $500 for 2^nd prize) if you go on Devil's Night...and this is for real...NOT an Urban Legend thing! www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

In case you didn't hear, in the biggest haunt news of the season, the announcement has been made that THE REALM OF DARKNESS is moving to Mississippi (possibly as soon as next year but for sure by 2018)!

So time is of the essence, if you want to see this masterful creation from not only one of the most creative, but nicest people in the business! Denise has even helped competitors slay their own dragons of all shapes, sorts, and sizes through the years in an impressive display of THE GOLDEN RULE at work!

And it was Denise that told us we simply HAD to check out SCREAM PARK in NILES which we finally did. We actually received a kind invitation from SCREAM PARK for a return visit recently...decisions, decisions...RATS! We missed THE HAUNT last year...we need to get back to DARKSYDE ACRES too...then there's the NEW MEGAHAUNT in TOLDEO called HAUNTED PLANET EXPERIENCE from the creator of the now defunct HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE in MANSFIELD, OHIO.

Whoops...gotta run to CARDIO DRUMMING...stay tuned my little monkeys!

OCTOBER 16, 2016 SUNDAY 5 AM - CITIES AFLAME IN ROCK AND ROLL / FREAK OUT IN A MOONAGE DAYDREAM, OH YEAH...

Okay, it was actually LENOX TOWNSHIP last night, as both HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR and SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK had the largest crowds we've ever seen at either haunt! Fortunately, both of them are set up to handle thousands upon thousands of happy haunters and things were running smoothly all around.

The moon was shining brightly, and at times unusual cloud formations passed through it to produce stunning visuals no man could ever create! Hmmm...could you call that GOD'S LIQUID SKY? haha ;)

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR had a radio remote broadcast going from Channel 955 WYCD and SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK featured a live rock band that really kicked out the jams, with fabulous sound quality to boot.

At HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, we saw the coolest cat ever! Look for him on the left at the entrance to the Road Kill Cafe SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK has a one-of-a-kind spinning artwork piece that combines fire and geometry in a most unique way. You won't be able to miss it!

Our only regret from the night was there's just so much to do at both haunts that we simply didn't have time to do everything. But we made sure to do the hayrides and walk-through haunts at both places, and they delivered the goods in spades.

Hey, they pretty much have to because this is the most competitive market on the planet seeing as DETROIT IS THE WORLD CAPITAL OF HAUNTED HOUSES!

OCTOBER 15, 2016 SATURDAY 7 PM - HAPPY SWEETEST DAY!

Why not give your sweetie a big thrill, and go to your local neighborhood haunted house tonight?

The weather is unseasonably warm, so the outdoor haunts will be prime tonight! You could even wear shorts, and of course it's also the perfect excuse for the girls to wear their most skimpy haunt garb. We personally authorize this type of behavior, subject of course to local jurisdiction which we would never suggest you ignore.

OCTOBER 15, 2016 SATURDAY 5 PM - HEROES AND ICONS

OMG! You will NOT believe who we ran into last night at SLAUGHTER HOUSE in FOWLERVILLE...

We have no idea how they pulled this one off! Check out who the special guests are this year at SLAUGHTER HOUSE no less than Hillary Rodham Clinton and Donald Trump themselves!

THE GLOVES COME OFF

You think you saw some fireworks between the presidential candidates during the debates? That's peanuts as The Donald would say, and he proves it big time when he makes his special appearance exclusively at SLAUGHTER HOUSE in thieir new show THE PURGE - ELECTION YEAR. You better get your butt over there, real quick before The Donald digs his own grave and jumps in it face first. www.slaughterhouseadventure.com

OCTOBER 15, 2016 SATURDAY 4:45 PM - POISON DARTS & DOWN-A-CLOWN

No, it's not The Donald's latest rantings about foreigners or Democrats.

It's two of the new carnival games at THEATRE BIZARRE this year, which for the first time takes place over two weekends this year.

HALF A TON OF CANDY CORN FROM THE ROCKY PEANUT COMPANY!

This thing is off the hook insane crazy! Last night was opening night and it was totally sold out, but you still have one more chance next week. It takes place at Masonic Temple in Detroit at a building that's a whopping 250,000 ft. And there are 1,037 rooms, many of which have not even been explored yet!

This event spans eight floors and is built to accommodate 4500 guests!Â 750 staff members make it all work like clockwork for this 16 year event, which got its start first at the Michigan State Fairgrounds as a risque one night only carnivalesque party for friends and family around Halloween.

The guy who put it together was famous for saying "No one was going to tell us no!" But sure enough, the city DID tell them "NO!" in 2010, and that's when they moved Theatre Bizarre to Masonic Temple. www.theatrebizarre.com

This year's theme is HAIL ZOMBO, and take a wild guess what ZomboÂ is? YUP he's a clown and in fact, the chief mascot of Theatre Bizarre. One of the key installations this year is a giant shrine to Zombo including a 213-figure motion controlled diorama that took them three years to make.

There was an excellent front-page article yesterday in the Detroit Free Press about Theatre Bizarre, and it takes you behind the scenes for an inside glimpse of this wildness - http://www.freep.com/story/entertainment/2016/10/13/theatre-bizarre-2016-detroi t-masonic-temple/92017008/

One really cool thing that sets this apart is that it's a costume mandatory masquerade, and as such is the largest of its kind in the world!

So there's another awesome world record for Detroit!

OCTOBER 14, 2016 FRIDAY 1 PM - We're getting excited for a WILD WEEKEND! Many amazing adventures await those who burn with passion for that crazy unique thrill that ONLY comes from haunting in DETROIT - THE WORLD CAPITAL OF HAUNTED HOUSES!

OCTOBER 14, 2016 FRIDAY 3 AM - WORD ON THE STREETS 2016 / EPISODE #1 (conclusion)

First to recap: So I'm waiting in line at a CVS DRUG STORE in DEARBORN a couple days ago, and the girl just ahead of me was wearing a T-shirt from HALLOWEEKENDS AT CEDAR POINT in SANDUSKY, OHIO.

I asked her if she had gone to the haunts at CEDAR POINT. She said it was like five years ago, and heard that it had gotten a lot better since then. That's been our understanding too, and honestly we do want to try the haunt at Cedar Point someday.

Only problem is that every time we get to Sandusky, we can't resist going to GHOSTLY MANOR instead which has always blown us away! (see various archived reviews)

Then I invited her to talk about haunts in Michigan. She had not yet gone haunting this season, but last year she tried two and especially loved one of them.

"Cool! Which haunt was it?"

Whoops, she couldn't remember the name, there's just so many of them. No problem...with minimal prompting and hearing that it was "out past Ann Arbor," we quickly determined that she had been to DARKSYDE ACRES in JONESVILLE.

We missed them last year, but always had a blast in previous seasons.

They have one really unique building they use to fabulous advantage. It's a really long rectangular building, with a super long continuous hallway that goes right down the center of the building.

You can see all the way through the building from beginning to end. But what you can't see is all the crazy things lurking in the rooms to the left and right of this super long hallway.

And we've seen DARKSYDE ACRES bumper stickers around town too. It must be an omen or sign that we need to get our butts out there again ASAP. Leave the lights OFF for us, RJ!

OCTOBER 13, 2016 THURSDAY 11 PM - MEMORIES, DREAMS & REFLECTIONS

The impact of ERWIN'S HAUNT CLOSING is still settling in, and brings to mind some of our earliest memories of haunting in Michigan.

It was "rites of passage" kind of thing that you just had to go to ERWIN'S and take in the whole experience with your friends. It was a bit of a drive from Detroit, which made it even more of an adventure. Pa-diddle!

I can still picture it right now, in my mind's eye... the bonfire is blazing... people cracking up telling the stories of what they liked best... sipping on some hot spiced cider... ohhhh the aroma from the little stick of cinnamon... and of course the hot fresh donuts... and will somebody get me a HONEY CRISP, already?

I am so JONESIN' for a HONEY CRISP RIGHT NOW...but it's gotta be really cold...let's pop some in the cooler filled with ice...got the apple splitter handy...hey is Kroger still open? Gotta go, but lots more cool stuff you won't hear anywhere else to tell you soon...