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Archive 14

OCTOBER 6, 2014 MONDAY 10 PM - CHRISTMAS IN OCTOBER!

No, they didn't just move BLACK FRIDAY up yet again.

Besides, we always just sleep in and save 100% instead of just 90. Now really, how important is a three dollar toaster to your life?

Forget that.

We just got our Christmas present two hours ago, in an email that totally made our day! And you get to share in on the fun too because we just got word that McCURDY'S REVENGE in CORUNNA IS BACK! www.McCurdysRevenge.com

And check this out: Admission at McCURDYS'S REVENGE is only $7, or with the online coupon IT'S ONLY $5!!!

Got an Abe in your wallet?

We can't imagine a better way to SPEND ONLY FIVE BUCKS for a top-notch haunt experience!

HAUNTS STILL OPEN - SATURDAY NOVEMBER 1, 2014:

13 FEET UNDER, FLINT

BESTMAZE, WILLIAMSTON

BOUGHAN'S HAUNTED HAYRIDE OF FRIGHT, BELLEVILLE (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2, see Not in FF/HG)

BURTON HAUNTED FOREST, BURTON

CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE, FLINT

CORPSE BARN SHOCK HAUNT - RATED R UPON REQUEST NIGHT

THE CRYPT, FLINT

DARK KARNEVIL, HELL

DARK LEGACY, WIXOM (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

DARKSYDE ACRES, JONESVILLE

THE DEADLAND HAUNTED HOUSE, WARREN

DREADLANDS HAUNT OF DAVISON, DAVISON

EREBUS, PONTIAC (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

ERWIN'S BARN OF HORRORS & TERRORFYING CORN MAZE, SOUTH LYON

EXIT 13, FLINT

THE FEAR FACTORY, MOUNT CLEMENS (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

FO - BE - E , WYANDOTTE JAYCEES. WYANDOTTE (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

GHOSTLY MANOR - LAKE EERIE FEARFEST, SANDUSKY, OHIO

HALLOWEEKENDS AT CEDAR POINT, SANDUSKY, OHIO

THE HAUNT, GRAND RAPIDS

HAUNTED HYDRO, FREMONT, OHIO (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, LENOX TWP.

THE HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME, INKSTER

HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION, WESTLAND (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD, JACKSON

JUNCTION VALLEY RAILROAD HALLOWEEN SPOOKTRAIN, BRIDGEPORT

KENTWOOD JAYCEES - FOREST OF FEAR, CALEDONIA

McCURDY'S REVENGE, CORUNNA (TRIUMPHANT RETURN!)

NIGHTMARE EXPRESS, OWOSSO (ON A REAL TRAIN!)

NIGHT TERRORS, YPSILANTI

THE REALM OF DARKNESS, PONTIAC (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2)

SAINT LUCIFER'S HAUNTED ASYLUM, FLINT

SALEM'S HAUNTED VILLAGE & KID ZONE, CAPAC

SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK, LENOX TWP.

SHAWHAVEN HAUNTED FARM, MASON

SLAUGHTERHOUSE - CORN ZILLA MAZE - BLOOD BATH & BEYOND HAYRIDE, FOWLERVILLE

TERROR ON 27, ASHLEY (ALSO OPEN NOV. 2 see Not in FF/HG)

TERRORFIED FOREST & MANOR, PINCKNEY

TERRORTOWN, MAUMEE, OHIO

VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD, ST. CHARLES

SANDUSKY, OHIO

GHOSTLY MANOR - LAKE EERIE FEARFEST

3319 Milan Road, Sandusky, OH

2.2 miles north of State Route 2

(419) 626-4467 or www.ghostlymanor.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2014 - THANK YOU STUART, WHEREVER YOU ARE IN TV LAND...

Funny thing...a small handful of super incredible must-see haunts on our "short list" are haunts we didn't even know about...but were strongly suggested by other haunt operators. Can you think of any better recommendation?

It's generally against our policy to mention two haunts in one review, but it doesn't matter this time...here we go...

Quick rewind...so we were at THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN long ago (now defunct)...we're talking with the owner Stuart MacDonald* after going through...everybody is scratching their heads...Stuart picks up a flyer and excitedly asks us "HEY, HAVE YOU BEEN TO GHOSTLY MANOR?!"

We had never heard of it, because they're out of the primary target zone of the HAUNT GUIDE and FEAR FINDER and don't advertise there. We went as soon as possible, and we just could not stop gushing about them! (See various previous years' reviews)

OK, so we've been going to this place for ages, and did lots of elaborate reviews and all...but never mind all that...at this point...C'MON THERE'S FIVE SEPARATE HAUNTS NOW?...seriously to even try to review this behemoth would be totally pointless.

But that's OK...just one word says it all: FABULOUS.

* = editor's note: Stuart MacDonald now works in TV production / on-air appearances on the east coast. If you ever saw THE HAUNTING, you were a lucky dog!

Additional editor's note: Apparently, there are some out there still trying to describe GHOSTLY MANOR with mere words. One of them is Forbes Magazine:¬ www.forbes.com/sites/larryolmsted/2013/09/20/10-great-halloween -haunted-house-attractions-across-the-us/

OCTOBER 6, 2014 MONDAY 9 PM - ROOT, ROOT, ROOT...MAYBE NEXT TIME...

Gee, what a horrible shame...just heard the Tigers are out of the playoffs for this season. Awwww, shucks.

OCTOBER 6, 2014 MONDAY 3 AM - Now posted:  full review of KRAZY HILDA'S in YPSILANTI!

OCTOBER 6, 2014 MONDAY 1 AM - RIGHT IN THE THICK OF THINGS AND HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT...SHHHH...DON'T TELL ANYBODY...

Just talking about KRAZY HILDA'S again... on a real "land line" no less... OK so when we first heard they moved to YPSILANTI on FORD ROAD we're getting this vision of a busy city street lit up with fast food joints, party stores and such...YPSILANTI...FORD ROAD...those are pretty big names around here, right?

"YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION"

Thank you, Mandy...but where's all the Big City Stuff?

We ARE on FORD ROAD right in YPSI, but it's suddenly like WE'RE OUT IN THE WILDERNESS and we have arrived...at the new digs of KRAZY HILDA'S! (Review coming ASAP!)

OCTOBER 5, 2014 SUNDAY 11:11 PM  LIKE KRAZY MAN, KRAZY!

Ever go drag racing for pink slips on Telegraph or Ford Road?

Light 'em up, and burn rubber in all four gears?

We never did anything like that...but if somehow we did, and I'm just sayin' IF...we would just blame it on our youth...works like a charm...almost every time...

Fine print disclaimer: For the record, we're NOT saying you should break the law, endangering the public with reckless behavior and such...we found a much better way for you to HAVE A BLAST RIGHT ON FORD ROAD and get away with it for sure, because we just did it! www.KrazyHildas.com  (review coming soon!)

OCTOBER 4, 2014 SATURDAY 4 PM - ONE LONELY INDIAN

Kind of bittersweet...so we were talking to one of the cool workers last night at HUSH...the guy with the beard...and he mentions that THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR has gone missing this year.

We just went to THE SCREAM MACHINE last season and saw a cool show.

What happened?

THE JL HUDSONS SYNDROME

Anybody remember HUDSONS DEPT. STORES? They once had the WORLD'S LARGEST DEPARTMENT STORE in downtown Detroit.

It was just one of those things people thought would always be there.

But nothing man-made lasts forever, and time and circumstances have a way of changing everything.

Even the wrecking ball itself that took down Hudson's is probably history by now.

THE ONLY CONSTANT IS CHANGE

Once-upon-a-time in the early 2000's, TAYLOR had its' own HAUNTED WORLD RECORD according to our research with SIX HAUNTED ATTRACTIONS IN ONE CITY! They were: BULL RUN KARATE HAUNTED HOUSE, DUNCAN STREET HORROR, EXFEARIENCE, PAPP PARK, THE EXTREME SCREAM, and THE SCREAM MACHINE.

We personally SUBMITTED FORMS TO GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS to document this amazing feat, but were told they had no category for Haunted Attractions.

We all know what happened later with GUINNESS...

Indeed, nothing lasts forever...but for now at least the kids in Taylor still have PAPP PARK left...while others of us sigh and remember the TAYLOR GLORY DAYS and the near constant confusion that often sent happy haunters to both THE EXTREME SCREAM and THE SCREAM MACHINE! Ah, memories...

OCTOBER 4, 2014 SATURDAY 2 AM - Now posted: review for HUSH in WESTLAND! (More coming ASAP)

OCTOBER 4, 2014 SATURDAY 1 AM - WAKE UP DEAD

"Sunshine Morgue...you stab 'em, we slab 'em!"

Ever answer your phone like that as a prank? Bart would be proud.

But never mind that...

We just met such a prim and proper Funeral Home Director at the¬ HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME in INKSTER, dressed so nicely in his perfectly tailored suit.

He is very proud of his conservative establishment, full of the recently departed.

Only problem though...they have no idea they're dead.

OLD SCHOOL IS NOT DEAD HERE...JUST THE INHABITANTS! www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614513583

BLINDED BY SCIENCE, REWARDED BY RADIO

Then we made our way to a secret laboratory in Westland that's conducting hideous clandestine experiments, also disguised as a prim and proper establishment under code name HUSH LIVING TECHNOLOGIES.

They also have a mild-mannered, well dressed host¬ who won't be winning the Spelling Bee anytime soon.

His name is Dr. Phineous Phun, and he could have just stepped out of GQ Magazine with his perfectly ironed dress shirt and matching tie. "That's P, H, U, N" he insists, and you're off...

And congratulations to all the HAPPY HAUNTERS at HUSH who also walked off with FREE CONCERT TIX from CHANNEL 955 RADIO for the upcoming ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT. www.HushDetroit.com

OCTOBER 3, 2014 FRIDAY 5 PM - BREAKING NEWS FROM HUSH...DON'T TELL ANYONE!

We just got word of TWO cool things happening at HUSH in WESTLAND tonight.

There's a hearse club visiting, and radio station 95.5 FM WKQI a.k.a. Channel 995 will be broadcasting LIVE FROM HUSH from 7 - 10 PM. www.HushDetroit.com

There will be ticket giveaways for the upcoming Ariana Grande concert!

OCTOBER 3, 2014 FRIDAY 4 PM - Now posted: preliminary reviews for EXIT 13 in the FLINT area and SLAUGHTERHOUSE in FOWLERVILLE. (Reviews 2014_A)

OCTOBER 2, 2014 THURSDAY 10 PM - THINGS THAT GO BUMP ALL NIGHT LONG!

Anybody remember NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE?

They took an old¬ BOB-LO BOAT then turned it into a haunted attraction, and it was TOTALLY AMAZING.

Lots of this historic vessel was left intact, exactly as it was ages ago...essentially a floating MUSEUM OF ANTIQUES.

Sadly, the NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE is long gone. (See Closed # 4.)

But what if we told you there's another haunt that also is essentially a MUSEUM OF ANTIQUES?

And what if we told you some of those very same antiques ended up being responsible for some REALLY WEIRD OCCURANCES THAT SIMPLY COULD NOT BE EXPLAINED BY LOGIC OR PHYSICS AS WE KNOW IT AT THAT HAUNT?

Independent Paranormal Researchers were actually brought in to properly document all this...plus I don't think it's even possible to fake goose bumps up and down both arms like people were getting...

You think you'd want to know about this haunt?

It gets better.

What if I told you that you could actually SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT IN THIS HAUNT THIS COMING SATURDAY AND EXPLORE FOR YOURSELF???

It's the Annual MS Awareness Night at THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC, October 4, 2014. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com or (248) 338-0400

WOWSER...A TOTALLY UNIQUE HAUNT EXPERIENCE OPPORTUNITY!!!

You may never have another chance for an experience of this magnitude, so CARPE DIEM BABY.

OCTOBER 1, 2013 WEDNESDAY 11 PM - PANAMA OR BUST

Thinking of that song by Van Halen called "PANAMA"...cool guitar solo by Alex...doesn't he jump off a cliff or like a stack of Marshalls? And we actually saw a VAN HALEN TRIBUTE BAND¬ called PANAMA¬ last summer at a local city festival / fireworks show...

But that's not why we're talkin' about PANAMA...and not the canal either...

Thing is, we just heard word from KRAZY HILDA'S about their new location for 2014 at PANAMA HILLS FARM in YPSILANTI, which opens up a whole bunch of new haunt trip possibilities! www.KrazyHildas.com

NIGHT TERRORS at WIARD'S ORCHARDS is also in YPSILANTI, and BRANDYWINE CEMETERY is nearby in ANN ARBOR.

BRANDYWINE CEMETERY is a 2 day only HIGHLY ORNATE DISPLAY made by a guy who moved to Michigan from California, where he WORKED FOR DISNEY  ANIMATION. www.BrandywineCemetery.com

We've been wanting to check out BRANDYWINE for years...and NOW THAT KRAZY HILDA'S IS NEARBY...this could just be our big chance...and yours too...to get a DOUBLE HAUNT ON...can I say that?

OCTOBER 1, 2013 WEDNESDAY 9 PM - IT'S GAME ON!

We just got off the phone with DARK LEGACY in WIXOM, and they WILL OPEN TOMORROW NIGHT. www.MichigansBestHaunt.com

They had smooth dress rehearsals with family members and the MOTOR CITY HAUNT CLUB, so now they're ready to TAKE ON THE WORLD...or at least the highly competitive DETROIT HAUNT MARKET!

OCTOBER 1, 2013 WEDNESDAY 6 PM - HAPPY MONSTER MONTH!

WOO-HOO...October is finally here! JUST UPDATED: What's Next

SEPTEMBER 30, 2014 TUESDAY 1 AM - Now posted: review of BESTMAZE in WILLIAMSTON. We finally made the time to go into the maze as well as take the TRAIL OF TERROR, and gained a whole new appreciation of this haunt!

SEPTEMBER 30, 2014 TUESDAY 5 AM - MADE IN THE MITTEN: THE GREATEST HALLOWEEN MAGIC BOOK EVER?

Just going through the Zioptis in-box, and spotted what looks like a SURE WINNER from the WORLD'S BIGGEST MAGIC COMPANY which is ABBOTT'S MAGIC in COLON, MICHIGAN. www.AbbottMagic.com/Dark-Matter-Secrets-ABBdmsecrets.htm

But don't take our word for it, here's what others are saying about this:

I have a library of over 4,000 books on magic and I feel qualified to state that it's simply the best Halloween resource of genuine Halloween magic secrets ever published...and you can quote me on that. ...Scott Swayze

I got this book in the mail last night and feel like I owe Abbotts some more money. You get a LOT of magic for your money here. ...Mitchell Leary

Greg, Thanks for a wonderful compilation of great Abbott spook magic. It truly is a must for anyone interested in the history or performance of such material, and a perfect product to come out of an old black building with skeletons on the front! Hope all is well in Colon. ...Rocky Clements

In a world where the "good stuff" is hidden in obscure pamphlets and magazines long forgotten, Dark Matter Secrets stands out as a real treasure. This book contains literally hundreds of usable pieces of magic you aren't likely to find on your own - all in one volume. The magic imps at Abbott's combed through their vaults in search of some of the best releases from their nearly 80 years in business, re-type set most of it, and put it in this beautiful volume. From close-up bizarre magic, to major stage illusions, it's all here. It's about time someone puts a QUALITY product on ink and paper for professionals and hobbyists alike. If "Halloween" and "spooky" is your thing, you are going to LOVE this book from Abbott's! --Keith Stickley of Dr. Scream's Spook Show Revival www.SpookShowRevival.com

This real book made with actual paper and ink is over 400 pages, and is only $25...whoopsie...wait a sec...I forgot...nothing is real these days and¬ nothing counts unless there's a YouTube video of it, right?!

So here it is! www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZMLgSRMOXE#t=10

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 MONDAY 10 PM - Now posted: review of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD in WEBBERVILLE. This is the haunt we went to on a fluke 2 years ago right on Halloween, when at the last minute we cancelled some Major Detroit Haunt plans to go here instead!

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 MONDAY 5 PM - MY LIFE AS A HUMBLE COMEDY LEGEND

No, not me...but I like the way it sounds.

It's MARTIN SHORT, who I just saw when I watched THE ELLEN SHOW for the first time...my partner has her DVR full of THE ELLEN SHOW, and has been bugging me to give it a try.

I must say it actually made me laugh...even while watching it alone (which is a BIG test of if it's really funny).

But what does COMEDY HAVE TO DO WITH HAUNTING?

What if I told you that last Saturday night we talked to a COMEDIAN WHO PERFORMED IN LAS VEGAS the night before?

No, we didn't go to MARK RIDLEY'S...we saw him at...get this...SLAUGHTERHOUSE¬ in¬ FOWLERVILLE.

Huh?

SLAUGHTERHOUSE has become a haunt that is truly in a league of their own, combining state-of-the-art illusions with HILARIOUS STORY LINES that MIX UP YOUR EMOTIONS BIG TIME as things go from funny to ghastly in a flash!

Back to SHORT: He was promoting his new book called "I MUST SAY - MY LIFE AS A HUMBLE COMEDY LEGEND," then launched into HILARIOUS STORIES, one after the other...sorta like SLAUGHTERHOUSE actually....

Hmmm...I wonder if ELLEN DeGENERES likes haunted houses? ;)

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 MONDAY 11:11 AM - I CAN HEAR FOR MILES AND MILES

As Ellen Degeneres would say, "Happy Eleven Eleven"!

But that's not why we're posting this right now...

Have you ever heard of a "Class A Clear Channel" radio station?

It means there are NO OTHER stations broadcasting on a specific frequency, and WJR - AM 760 in DETROIT is one such station.

For example, I distinctly remember listening to a DETROIT TIGERS game on WJR while in Florida with my family on vacation.

THAT'S INCREDIBLE REACH POWER...but why would you care?

Here's why: We just now received official word that WJR RADIO will be doing a MAJOR INTERVIEW with a MAJOR MICHIGAN HAUNT very soon!

Stay tuned for details...this is going to be GIANT.

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 MONDAY 4 AM - THE SILENT LEGACY RAGES NO MORE

The Detroit haunt scene suffered a MAJOR LOSS this year, but nobody seems to have noticed. After all, haunts come and go every year...as long as all the Big Boys are still there we're OK, right?

I'm not so sure...

What if I told you that one of the haunts that REALLY WOWED US¬ last year also had pitifully low attendance all season?

And they did everything right, as far as we could see.

They advertised in the Detroit haunt papers, recruited and promptly paid some of the best actors we've ever seen at haunts, thrilled the few patrons they did get, and won 3 ZIOPTIS AWARDS IN 2013.

SO WHO WAS IT?¬ (See Closed  #55.)

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 MONDAY 3 AM - OUT OF MY MIND ON MONDAY MOANIN'

Here we go again...no way...YES way...it's yet another WORLD'S LARGEST CLAIM BY A HAUNT.

But FINALLY, it's NOT what you'd think!

Just now checking the MISSOURI haunts for correctness...here we go...THE DARKNESS THEME PARK in ST. LOUIS changed to CREEPYWORLD...one of their 2 new things for 2014 is St. Lucifer's Hospital...AND they have the WORLD'S LARGEST.....get ready...drum roll...

PUMPKIN DISPLAY! www.ScareFest.com

SEPTEMBER 28, 2014 SUNDAY 11 PM - BATTLE OF THE INCHES

I can't believe it...

So we're talking to some haunters last night in line at TERRORFIED FOREST, and a girl tells us about some KILLER HAUNTS IN OHIO she personally went to, one of which is IN A REAL CAVE!!!

Now we've seen REAL CAVES¬ REPLICATED at a haunt before inside a man-made structure at THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC. They used high-tech wizardry to REPLICATE the exact variances throughout, and it's actually quite convincing.

But to create an ENTIRE HAUNT COMPLETELY INSIDE A REAL CAVE?

How far is it? Can we get there tonight?! haha...no really, where's the GPS?

Is there an amazing elevator ride down like we experienced long ago during one of the last tours from CRYSTAL SALT MINES?

But that's not actually why we're bringing up this haunt...back home later...knew we had this haunt listed...oh there is in LEWISBURG, OHIO...it's the LEWISBURG HAUNTED CAVE...click! www.HauntedCaveAtLewisburg.com

YAYYY INTERNET...I can see for miles...WOW WHAT'S THIS...there's that familiar GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS emblem...how many WORLD RECORDS do we really need...or even care about?

Personally, we're more curious to meet their award winning WATER MONSTERS for ourselves...but everyone gets their moment in the sun...even if they're hundreds of feet below the earth most of us walk on!

Back to subject...turns out that LEWISBURG HAUNTED CAVE did indeed achieve their own GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS award on July 15, 2010 for LONGEST WALK THROUGH HORROR HOUSE measuring 3,564 feet.

I think you know the rest of the spiel by now.

Besides I gotta run...have a date with MR. MAPQUEST now...

SEPTEMBER 28, 2014 SUNDAY 2 AM - Partial review of TERRORFIED FOREST & HILLSIDE MORTUARY in PINCKNEY NOW POSTED. (Reviews 2014_A)

The haunt was excellent as usual, but there's also some BIG NEWS.

SEPTEMBER 28, 2014 SUNDAY 1 AM - MAKING A LIST AND CHECKING IT TWICE / LET THE PARTY BEGIN!

We actually saw SANTA CLAUS on Saturday night!

Red suit, fluffy white beard, visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads...the¬ real deal.

You DO believe in Santa Claus, right?

But something's wrong...SANTA CLAUS IS DRUNK...he's clutching a liquor bottle...stumbling around incoherent...

BAD SANTA!

But GOOD for youSLAUGHTERHOUSE!

The new show at SLAUGHTERHOUSE is PURE DYNAMITE, and their new BAD SANTA ROOM has an off-the-hook ending revealing Santa's true colors in a graphic display of CASUAL RUTHLESSNESS.

WHOEVER KNEW BEING SO BAD COULD BE SO GOOD? www.SlaughterhouseAdventure.com (full review coming soon)

SEPTEMBER 27, 2014 SATURDAY 1 PM - THE LATEST AND GREATEST YouTube SENSATION!

Nowadays, nothing counts unless there's a YouTube video of it, right?

(See our social commentary on this topic in the new tab "Closed"  under # 56. MAXWORLD)

OK, OK.... maybe this isn't quite PSY yet with his BILLIONS OF YouTube HITS.

But he's old news anyway, so check out this way cool NEW YouTube PROMO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUsV6BUaBEY

SEPTEMBER 27, 2014 SATURDAY 2 AM - WILD AND MILD

WEBBERVILLE and WILLIAMSTON were WILD!

The weather was MILD.

What a great combination!

NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD in WEBBERVILLE had become our very own HALLOWEEN PLAYGROUND, as we did our Trick-Or-Treating with them right on October 31st for the last 2 years!

EVERYBODY SAID WE WERE CRAZY 2 years ago, when we ended up cancelling some major Detroit-area plans to go to NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD instead.

And then we has SUCH A BLAST that we went again on Halloween the following year!

But this year, we just could NOT wait that long to see their NEW SHOWS...and they did NOT disappoint us, as we totally fell victim to their ghouls and monsters who were TOTALLY ON THEIR A-GAME.  www.NightmareOnElmRd.com

And BESTMAZE in WILLIAMSTON is less than 10 minutes from NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD, so off we went to see yet another BRAND NEW SHOW there. www.BestMaze.com

Oh wait a second...to be totally accurate, TRAIL OF TERROR at BESTMAZE still starts with the same BLACK HOLE and the next room has been modified and has TWO of the best things from last year.

After that, IT'S ABSOLUTELY 100% NEW...and there's several MIND BLOWING GAGS THAT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF! (Reviews coming soon)

SEPTEMBER 26, 2014 FRIDAY 2 AM - FLIPPING THE COIN OF FATE

Sometimes it a coin-toss as far as our haunt plans go...things can and do go wrong. (See article from 7 PM yesterday)

WE REALLY SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS, BUT...

Like for tonight...and this is one of our Special Trade Secrets...shhhh...don't tell anybody...this stops right here with just you and me, OK?

So our original plan for Friday night was to HIT HELL first with KARNEVIL, zoom over to DARK LEGACY (opens NEXT THURSDAY) which is in Oakland County and then zip over to Pontiac (also in Oakland County) for a REALLLY BIG SHOW at the MegaHaunt!

Wait a second...there's TWO MegaHaunts BOTH IN PONTIAC...only time for ONE of them after the two others...how to decide which one to hit?

THE DEEP ANALYSIS MR. NYE-GUY WAY:

There's THE REALM OF DARKNESS, with its' dark, cerebral, interactive medieval fantasy journey approach in settings that often make you feel as if you're in a museum! And YES, there are many real antiques there...some of which have actually led to strange paranormal encounters...NOT KIDDING...with not only some seriously spooked haunters but with the ACTORS AS WELL! Details: www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

And of course there's EREBUS, with its' high-intensity, slam-bang sensory assaults as you unwittingly become experiments in an insane TIME MACHINE EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG! www.HauntedPontiac.com

DECISIONS, DECISIONS, LOCATION, LOCATION...HELP MR. WIZARD!

Here's the¬ big secret (shhhhh) of how we were going to scientifically choose the best MegaHaunt in Pontiac to go to, and you can do it too with just a little practice.

Reach into your pocket, pull out the biggest coin you have, screech like a banshee "HEADS IT'S REALM, TAILS IT'S EREBUS," then toss the coin in the air to land where it may.

Whoever knew life could be so simple?

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 THURSDAY 7 PM - CARROT DANGLING FROM A STICK

We have good news, and bad news...here's the good news first:

We just had a great talk with the creator of the brand spanking new DARK LEGACY in WIXOM, and it's totally on-track to be A KILLER HAUNT and a new major player in the haunt industry. www.MichigansBestHaunt.com

We were anxious to check them out right away, but we always call a haunt before showing up.

MURPHY'S LAW IN ACTION...YET AGAIN

You won't believe this!

YES, the shear logistics of putting together a TRIPLE HAUNT like this are enormous, especially for the very first time.

But NO, DARK LEGACY will not open tomorrow, (the new target Opening Night is NEXT THURSDAY) and it's NOT what you'd think!

We were half expecting them to say some major props were still in the works, maybe a key actor came down with whooping cough or his mother's brother's sister's pet hamster took ill or whatever...

BUT IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT AT ALL...it's actually a COMBINATION of two things totally beyond their control...drum roll...get ready...the first problem is...it's so exciting...

THE FIRE INSPECTOR'S VACATION SCHEDULE.

HUH???

Are they NOT AWARE of this major new SEASONAL UNDERTAKING that's set to bring in lots of new business to the fine city of Wixom???

But it even gets worse.

The OTHER major stumbling block they face is...

THE FIRE CHIEF'S VACATION SCHEDULE!!!

Unbelievable...stay tuned as the saga unfolds...

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 THURSDAY 5 PM - WE DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN

Ohhhhh boy! The weather is looking GREAT for this weekend, and you know what that means...H A Y R I D E S !

We plan to hit some A.S.A.P. and you should too...think for a moment...remember a few years ago when it RAINED EVERY WEEKEND IN OCTOBER?

Don't risk possible PROCRASTINATOR'S REGRET LATER...because we're not the kind to say "I told you so!"

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 THURSDAY 2 PM - JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM!

Earlier we told you about what is being called the "WORLD'S LARGEST HAUNTED ATTRACTION" by WORLD OF NIGHTMARES in MIDDLEBURG HEIGHTS, OHIO who previously ran 7 FLOORS OF HELL in CLEVELAND.

But hold everything!

Hmmm...WORLD'S LARGEST...shouldn't the GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS¬ be involved if that's the case?

Everybody knows, or should know anyway, that Michigan's EREBUS was indeed CERTIFIED by GUINNESS as being the very first WORLD'S LARGEST WALK THROUGH HAUNTED ATTRACTION.

After all has been said and done, and more has been said than done, EREBUS wrote the book on this subject.

CLICK-CLICK HERE, AND A CLICK-CLICK THERE, HERE-A CLICK, THERE-A CLICK, EVERYWHERE A CLICK-CLICK

We decided to ask our good buddy Mister Google (he seems to know everything) and the official Guinness World Records website to get to the bottom of all this.

This is what we found...wait, it's also what we didn't find!

First of all, we could not find ANYTHING AT ALL relating to HAUNTED HOUSE, HAUNTED ATTRACTION, or anything even containing the root word "haunt."

NO RECORD OF THIS AT ALL?

What's the deal, oh claimers of giant things?

Let's try "LARGEST WALK THROUGH"...oh, here it is listed as "LONGEST WALK-THROUGH HORROR HOUSE."

But hold everything...again...it's in Ube, Yamaguchi, JAPAN!

It's called DEAD OR ALIVE and is 1,290.97 meters long (or 4,235 feet and 5 inches), as measured on October 4, 2011 with the official survey lasting over 7 hours. www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/1000/longest-walk- through-horror-house

What about that, Ohio?

Let's CLICKY-CLICK with Mister Google some more...how about key words¬ HAUNT, GUINNESS and OHIO?

Oh, there it is...but hold everything yet again...it doesn't say Haunted ATTRACTION as mentioned by WORLD OF NIGHTMARES.

It says "THE LARGEST HAUNTED HOUSE ON EARTH" and it's in CANTON, OHIO at FACTORY OF TERROR.

The picture shows the guy holding a framed Guinness Award that definitely looks authentic!

Its' official measurement survey was on August 27, 2011 and came out at 3,796 feet long. www.fotohio.com./guinness-world-record/

So...HAUNTED ATTRACTION...HORROR HOUSE...HAUNTED HOUSE...who even cares about all this nit-picking?

Actually, lots of people...mostly haunt operators...who should be justifiably proud of their accomplishments and want credit given where credit is due.

In an industry full of very big claims, we pride ourselves on accuracy and needed to set the record straight.

That being said, BIGGER AND BADDER does NOT always mean BETTER!

One of our most amazing haunt experiences EVER was at the tiny HAUNTED THEATRE HOUSE¬ on LIVERNOIS in DETROIT...defunct now for years.

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 THURSDAY 2 AM - The "Closed" tab on the left is new.

SEPTEMBER 24, 2014 WEDNESDAY 7 PM - FIRST REVIEW FOR 2014 POSTED

Full review for the new show at ST. LUCIFER'S HAUNTED ASYLUM¬ now posted! (Reviews 2014_A)

SEPTEMBER 24, 2014 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - A TASTE OF HALLOWEEN HEAVEN

Fall is officially here now and we can expect a myriad of food staples with PUMPKIN SPICE ADDED, just because it's possible to do so.

For example, I just saw on the news that PUMPKIN SPICE OREO COOKIES are hitting the shelves of local grocery stores now.

Huh?

PUMPKIN SPICE, tossed in with a big gob of partially hydrogenated soybean oil¬ and lots of chemicals you can't pronounce?!

That's sacrilege! FORGET THAT.

We have a MUCH BETTER SERVING SUGGESTION  featuring awesome home- baked goods like PUMPKIN LOGS for ridiculously cheap prices, and it's also a chance to GET A GREAT HAUNT IN we bet you haven't been to before!

TERROR ON 27 in ASHLEY is just the ticket for you.

Check out their reviews from previous years like in "Reviews 2013_A" and clicky here: www.TerrorOn27.com

SEPTEMBER 22, 2014 MONDAY 11 AM - PURE MICHIGAN FEAR...AND ART!

What a hip town Grand Rapids is!

They're about to have the WORLD'S LARGEST ART PRIZE with more than 1,500 pieces of art displayed for free in public, vying for $560,000! The event runs Sept. 24th thru Oct. 12. www.mlive.com/artprize/index.ssf/2014/09/artprize_2014_in_grand_ rapids_complete_guide_to_enjoying_the_downtown_event.html#inc art_m-rpt-2

But here's an even better reason to visit Grand Rapids: It's home to an astonishing haunt that you MUST experience at least once in your life, called simply THE HAUNT.

THE ENORMOUS GENERIC DIFFERENCE

No need to remember fancy or strange names...it's just THE HAUNT.

Like you know how if you're at a friend's house, and you feel a big sneeze coming on...there's a box of Puffs brand facial tissue...but you still ask for a KLEENEX instead?

In the boring world of facial tissue, all you need to know is KLEENEX.

But in the highly exciting world of haunted attractions all you need to know is THE HAUNT. www.the-haunt.com

We're glad to see that THE HAUNT is now being advertised in the Detroit market!

So how popular is THE HAUNT?

In their very first year, they had attendance of 30,700 and it just keeps getting BIGGER AND BETTER EVERY YEAR!

SO HOW DO THEY DO IT?

PASSION, COMMITMENT, and ETHICAL CONDUCT are the primary factors, but INDUSTRY INNOVATION is a biggie too like with their awesome waiting area stage shows and the amazing FRIGHT LITE (patent pending) they invented which has quickly become an industry standard.

It's an inexpensive nifty little device that allows any actor to MAGICALLY APPEAR OUT OF TOTAL DARKNESS on-the-fly for an ultra-dramatic WOW! www.FrightLite.com

SEPTEMBER 21, 2014 SUNDAY 2 AM - SATURDAY NIGHT BIG FUN IN FABULOUS FLINT

What a gas it is haunting in the Flint area!

After we "GOT OFF AT EXIT 13" (big time!) like it says on their panties (love those double-entendres), we had close-up and highly personalized encounters of the third kind with some amazing alien insect monsters at ST. LUCIFER'S HAUNTED ASYLUM, then found ourselves enrolled in boot camp at THIRTEEN FEET BELOW! (Reviews coming soon)

SEPTEMBER 20, 2014 SATURDAY 2 AM - IT WAS A GRAVEYARD SMASH!

WOW, what a send-off we gave Adam T. Ladd! 

LADD'S EVIL ACRES in HILLSDALE was packed to the gills Friday night, with hayrides leaving one after the other and tons of free food and drinks for everyone that was donated.

Yes, they had the token bonfire of course...but even better, they had FIRE DANCING too thanks to an outrageous guest actor from DARKSYDE ACRES!

The hayride was so much fun, we went several times!

On our last trip, the tractor driver shut off his lights and the STARS JUMPED OUT OF THE SKY, glistening like little sprites singing the praise of ADAM T. LADD...Rest in Peace, brother.

Then, after THE VERY LAST RIDE...kinda chokes you up to think they're closing up shop for good...ALL the actors from all four haunts gathered for a giant group picture...lookie here: www.flickr.com./photos/45316911@N03/

(Click on “Albums” & find HAUNTED ATTRACTION STUFF”)
Right after this picture was taken, an 
ALL OUT MONSTER MASH BROKE OUT!

How cool...four competing haunts...but not competing tonight, except to see who could WOW the crowds the best!

It was so fun, talking to as many characters as possible, and the family of course too..."hey, which haunt are you from?...how do you guys know each other?..."

So many stories in so little time...it was a totally unique vibe...and it sure feels good, after a major overhaul of our plans, to think that tonight in our own small way, UNITED TOGETHER we increased the sum total of human happiness and have NO REGRETS.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2014 FRIDAY 2 PM - NO REGRETS

I was lucky enough to be born into a family whose father ALWAYS observed the FAMILY FIRST notion.

At Zioptis, we truly consider the haunt community to be part of our artificially extended family, and we just now DROPPED EVERYTHING ELSE so we can join the ONE LAST RIDE IN LOVING MEMORY OF Adam Ladd Memorial Service tonight at LADD'S EVIL ACRES. www.LaddsEvilAcres.com

A CALL TO ARMS FOR THE ZIOPTIS POPULACE

If you're anything more than a casual haunt fan, and consider yourself to be a supporter of the haunt community we urge you to also DROP EVERYTHING ELSE and head out to LADD'S EVIL ACRES in HILLSDALE tonight from 9PM - 12 MIDNIGHT.

Yes, we were looking forward to starting with a BANG at ST. LUCIFER'S and EXIT 13 tonight who both won ZIOPTIS AWARDS last year...but they'll be open later too and this is ONE NIGHT ONLY.

To be perfectly honest, we never did actually meet Adam or even visit his haunt, although Rob from DARKSYDE ACRES had urged us to do so in the past!

Still, we consider the Ladd's to be part of our artificially extended family and it would be a TRAVESTY for us NOT to do whatever it takes to attend this poignant event which ALSO WILL BE A KILLER HAUNTED HOUSE!

If we didn't make this event, our conscious would never forgive us...and we'd have a very hard time enjoying the rest of the season.

Besides the LADD'S crew, CORPSE BARN, DARKSYDE ACRES, and THE BONEYARD will be on hand to SCARE 'YER PANTS OFF. We can NOT think of any better way to HONOR OUR FALLEN COMRADE ADAM LADD.

ONE LAST RIDE...ONE FINAL CHANCE...TO SEND OFF ADAM T. LADD WITH STYLE AND COMPASSION...SEE YOU THERE!

SEPTEMBER 18, 2014 THURSDAY 11 PM - SIGNS OF THE TIME

Crusin' around town earlier today...COOL...there's a HALLOWEEN CITY store that just went up!

Also, the annual HAUNT GUIDE and FEAR FINDER are now available so you can find your favorite haunts and check out the new ones too: www.TheHauntGuide.com www.FearFinder.com

SEPTEMBER 18, 2014 THURSDAY 1 AM - ONE LAST RIDE FOR OUR FALLEN COMRAD ADAM LADD

There's TONS of haunts opening early for the season Friday Sept. 19th.

We've NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE, but we are STRONGLY URGING YOU NOT to go to them on Friday.

Instead, please join in for a bittersweet ONE TIME ONLY EVENT honoring the late & great ADAM LADD who sadly passed away May 30, 2014 while working to make his haunt in Hillsdale bigger and better.

ADAM GAVE HIS VERY LIFE.

Now we're asking you to give your Friday night to honor him at this Memorial Benefit, AND experience an amazing collaborative haunted event featuring personnel from LADD'S EVIL ACRES, THE BONEYARD, CORPSE BARN, and DARKSYDE ACRES!

FOUR HAUNT CREWS. ONE PURPOSE. BE THERE. www.LaddsEvilAcres.com

(We are truly saddened at the loss of Adam, and that unfortunately our schedule logistics make it impossible for us to attend this poignant event.)

Editors note: We felt this was so important we cancelled all other plans and went to this bittersweet event.

Rest In Peace, Adam T. Ladd
June 19, 1974 - May 30, 2014

***************************************************************** ************

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 2 PM - PULL UP A CHAIR...

PIGTAILS & PUMPKINS - BLESSED BY A GOURD  by Zioptis

Inspired by Crazy Bob & adapted from a story by Bennet Cerf

Melissa counted out the last pennies of her fare, on a small bus in rural Wisconsin in 1967.

She was 14, and it was the day after Halloween. The kids in front of the bus were still celebrating, bragging about how much candy their pillow cases held and such.

Near the back of the bus was mean Mr. Turner.

Nobody knew much about him, except that he used to give each Trick-or-Treater a small packet of candy on Halloween.

That stopped a few years ago, but a bright Jack-o-Lantern still appeared on his front porch every Halloween.

He sat on the bus with no expression on his face, and in his feeble hands was said Jack-o-Lantern.

The crudely carved crooked teeth in the pumpkin resembled his own, and his clothes were ragged with the shirt buttoned wrong.

Strangely, Melissa walked right past her friends, and sat down across from mean Mr. Turner who continued to look forward with an empty stare.

Then suddenly he spun the pumpkin to face her, with its' silly face as he yelled "BOO!" and went back to his empty stare.

Melissa shrieked just as she had the weekend before at the local Jaycee's Haunted House, but then grinned a grin like the Great Pumpkin Himself.

At the next stop, the not-so-mean-after all Mr. Turner got up to leave.

But he hesitated for a moment, and then thrust the jolly Jack-o-Lantern into the girl's hands. He said, "The pumpkin made you smile…I think my wife would like you to have it…I'll tell her I gave it to you."

The old man hobbled out of the bus, and just before he disappeared from sight out the back window, Melissa saw him walk through the gates into a small cemetery.

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 11 AM - STORYTELLER TO STORYTELLER: THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATION!

A special thanks to CRAZY BOB at the HAUNTED HYDRO...but not for what you'd think.

I was struggling with the new pumpkin story mentioned earlier, and we haven't seen CRAZY BOB for too long who is a whiz of an impromptu storyteller/comedian.

So we get there and he has GIANT BOOKS twice as tall as me! It was like stepping into a library from ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

There's concepts-from-beyond stories flying left and right from both BOB and a wild movie they produced...mental medication/stimulation coming on strong...woke up this morning and DING!

It all came to me in a flash...time to get the fingers busy...stay tuned for "PUMPKINS & PIGTAILS - BLESSED BY A GOURD."

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 2 AM - BUCKEYE BRILLIANCE / AS YE SOW...

Don't know where to start...so many stories from just tonight! but it's too late right now, so here's the Friday night CLIFF NOTES: went to TERRORTOWN and HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK...both fabulous...awesome original movie...massive clouds of fog...a massive secret to keep...wanted to hit GHOSTLY MANOR¬ too...details later today when we SPILL SOME REALLY BIG BEANS!

 

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