OCTOBER 11, 2016 TUESDAY 5 PM - REALLY big news coming later tonight!

OCTOBER 9, 2016 SUNDAY 3 AM - TAKE ME DOWN TO PARADISE CITY

It was love at first sight.

Last night at HUSH, our special guest from New York was instantly smitten witha most unusual actress the likes of which we've never seen at any haunt anywhere.

STRANGE BUT WONDERFUL

Her name is MERIT, and she is fabulously exotic!  And when I mentioned to her that I wished our lovable waif friend CANDY FISHALOT could be here to see this, she reacted as if she personally knew her!

KINDRED SPIRITS / WHAT'S IN YOUR LEFT REAR POCKET?

So I gave a test and mentioned to MERIT about how CANDY likes to carry a dead fish in her left pocket at all times.  We won't go into exactly how she proved herself, but suffice it to say that MERIT passed our test with flying colors!

C'mon Zioptis...how did she do it...how did she do it?

Never mind that part... we'll let your imagination fill in the blanks. Nah...better yet, just get your butt down to HUSH and see what's happening with the new show. It's killer!

JUST ONE MORE THING

No, it's not Columbo. No stinky cigars allowed.

It was me last night, trying to convince our friend from New York to take the time to go to one more haunt. It went something like this:

"Actually, I'm on a tight schedule...I need to get back to New York. And besides, it's a documentary about Cardio Drumming... NOT haunted houses!"

"But there's another way cool haunt like 10 minutes down the block on Ford Road here. We have the best haunted houses in Michigan, in fact DETROIT IS THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! Let me show you a little more of what's happening here..."

"Really, how could it compare to what we just experienced here at HUSH?"

"It's not like that...sure the haunts are competing with each other, but they're not comparing themselves to each other. They're different as night and day, but each of them does something incredible in their own way. This next one is actually a haunted forest called KRAZY HILDA'S."

"A haunted house in a forest? How can they do that?"

So off to KRAZY HILDA'S we went.

Little did we know the awesome surprise that would hit us the moment we arrived at HILDA'S. IT WAS FABULOUS!

TO BE CONTINUED...

OCTOBER 8, 2016 SATURDAY 4 PM - BIG APPLE DREAMING

We have a special guest from New York joining us tonight on our journey, but we'll only have time to go to one haunt.

So if you have an out-of-town guest and can only take them to one haunt, where do you go? That's a no-brainer.  Just now when my partner and I asked ourselves that question, we agreed it would have to be THE REALM OF DARKNESS.

Rats! Unfortunately, due to travel and logistics considerations, we're not going to be able to hit the REALM and must stay closer to home tonight.

So where will we go? It's gotta be killer, that's for sure. Oh, I know! Stay tuned, my little monkeys...

OCTOBER 8, 2016 SATURDAY 3 AM - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Hooray!  We made it to all four Flint area target haunts on Friday night. THE CRYPT flat out blew us away, and hands down had the best and most GOTCHA! moments of the night. Their actors were all spot-on on and ultra-creative, and the sound (starting right in the parking lot) and lighting are fabulous.

My partner made a crafty and calculating choice from her extensive haunt wardrobe for our Flint journey. She wisely wore her T-shirt from THE CRYPT, proudly filling it robustly and vivaciously! This drew shrieks of delight from various ghouls and monsters, much as we expected. :P

CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE has expanded to great effect, but we almost wish we had waited until tomorrow to see this haunt. They have an amazing addition they're adding to the haunt tomorrow, and it goes right on top of the building.

SPACE AGE C'MON, WHY DON'T YOU FLEX YOUR MAGIC MUSCLE?

It's a new searchlight, but not just any searchlight. The candle power rating on this bad boy is 1.7 BILLION! Thanks to game-changing NASA technology, it runs on an ordinary 120 volt circuit using only 9 amps.

Ground mounted searchlights need to use a 45° angle, but on the roof you can set it much wider to vastly extend the range. This sizzling beacon will be visible for many miles...kinda like another amazing searchlight in Pontiac you may have seen! ;)

ST. LUCIFER'S and 13 FEET BELOW both have cool new shows. And whats more, they have some amazing actors you'll see even before you get in the haunts. We especially liked the lady who seems to have a fruit salad for her hair, and the tat man with the chains.

Is this the kind of "BAD BOY" the girls know they shouldn't fall for but can't resist? "Bad boys" know that attraction is not a choice that women consciously make, and how to trigger it in spades. Guys, don't let your girlfriends anywhere near this guy!  haha WILD STUFF!

OCTOBER 7, 2016 FRIDAY 4 PM - BUCKEYE CONNECTION DELUXE

ST. LUCIFER'S SCREAMPARK in GRAND BLANC (near Flint) has a special actor that's appearing for the first time tonight. This actor is coming in from Ohio, and we can't wait to see what this is all about! www.fearfest.net

OCTOBER 7, 2016  FRIDAY 3:30 PM - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE HAUNT WHERE...

...it costs $100 to get in, but you get $10 back for each room you make it through?

It sounds incredible, but there's one small problem. It's not real... this is an urban legend going way back that changes a little bit every year but always returns like zombies in pursuit of your soul.

Now what if I told you I knew of a haunted house where you could walk in, and perhaps walk out later with $1000 if you could prove yourself worthy? Or if you came as second banana in their contest walk out with $500?

It gets better folks, because this one is real! Check it out, it's THE REALM OF DARKNESS DEVILS NIGHT CHALLENGE.

This is going to be totally off the hook outrageously insane, and soon we'll be telling you about some big-time inside dope about REALM! Don't believe anything stupid you may have heard.  We've got the inside story and we'll give it to you straight. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

OCTOBER 2, 2016 SUNDAY 3 AM - HOLY DIVER

No... not the Ronnie James Dio song, it was us last night at ROTTEN MANOR.  We couldn't wait for church on Sunday, so we prayed with the nuns there last night.

Huh? Prayed that we make it out of this crazy place alive!

ROTTEN MANOR is one strange place. It appears to be run by nuns, because three of them are in charge of the ticket booth.  But these are not your dad's nuns. They may look all prim and proper, but they're crankin' the TOOL on the PA! What would Mother Mary say? haha

There's been some big changes at Rotten Manor since last year, and we're predicting a very big future for this amazing haunt!  (Review coming soon.)

Our apologies to THE REALM OF DARKNESS for missing them last night. But it's pretty cool to know there's people inside there right now having an amazing experience!

OCTOBER 1, 2016 SATURDAY 5:30 PM - GIVING BACK IN A GIANT WAY

Here's an annual promotion that speaks volumes in terms of community involvement and compassion.

Even better, it's your chance to spend the entire night in a BONA FIDE HAUNTED HOUSE! THE REALM OF DARKNESS SCREAM FOR A CURE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AWARENESS NIGHT is tonight! Call (248) 338-0029 or click here -www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

OCTOBER 1, 2016 SATURDAY 5 PM - THE GROWING ANTICIPATION

Last night we saw an angel at ABANDON HAUNTED HOUSE in MELVINDALE, and we got swept into a fit of musical madness at the HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME in INKSTER with an actress from beyond! You can't miss her - she's wearing asparkling silver gown like a world renowned musician getting ready to play a recital at CARNEGIE HALL in NEW YORK CITY. Great stuff!

So what adventures await us tonight? We have no idea what they might be, but we can't wait to find out and report them back to you in our usual splashy style.

There's no telling what magic dials and secret buttons the haunt owners have been manipulating over since last season ended! We can't wait to see whatinsane creations and silly circumstances have been customed engineered to be presented in DETROIT - THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!

OCTOBER 1, 2016 SATURDAY 4 AM - HOORAY! The month when pumpkins pop up everywhere and lots of fun is to be had is finally here. LET'S CELEBRATE!

We had a great Friday night at two haunts as different as day and night, yet both are driven by that burning passion that drives home the excitement of the haunt experience.

That way the happy memories remain, even long after the last Snickers bar ends up in a large pool of raw sewage.

Reviews under construction...

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 7 PM - BLACK MOON RISING TONIGHT! / DANCING UNDER THE MOONLIT SKY

Check this out: here's a REALLY BIG NOTHING you can experience yourself tonight. I'm talking the Black Moon baby, and after tonight you won't get another chance to check this out for years.

It's a rare occasion when the second new moon in a month results in the dark side of the Moon being shown to us. That means you can have your very own BLACK MOON PARTY TONIGHT!

Get together with your friends and don't look at it, because there's nothing to see. It's a shared experience like no other!

Hey, wanna buy some tickets to the submarine races? I'll even give them to you half price. See? I'm a pal after all...

Check out the inside real dope here, but don't tell ANYBODY: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/30/black-moon-s et-to-rise-tonight-in-rar e-lunar-event---but-what-is/

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 4 PM - Just checking the HAUNT GUIDE...here's a new one that looks cool in LESLIE which is mid-Michigan. AWAKEN HAUNTED ATTRACTION is opening this year with over 13,000 square feet.

This could be a monster, and as a new haunt this year is a top priority!www.awakenhaunt.com

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 3:30 PM - BE A V.I.P. ON THE CHEAP!

Here's a cool promotion from the Michigan Haunters Association: just bring your ticket stub to any participating haunt and get a free VIP upgrade at the next haunt.

Lots of primo haunts are involved in this, check here for details: www.MichiganHaunters.com

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 6 AM - NOT A NICE PROBLEM TO HAVE

Rats, looks like there's a margin problem on the main page. Sorry for the awkward viewing; it will be fixed ASAP.

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 5:45 AM - A NICE PROBLEM TO HAVE!

Decisions, decisions... YES, we're eager to visit some long-term favorites like for example THE CRYPT, KRAZY HILDA'S, THE REALM OF DARKNESS, and THE REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS.

But we're also really anxious to check out the new shows at three of the major new haunts on the scene: CLIO MANOR, HUSH, and ROTTEN MANOR.

There's just so many fabulous haunts in Michigan and of course Ohio too!

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 4 AM - THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA

Every year brings new haunts, but sadly others leave too.  We had previously reported that THE BONEYARD was closing due to legalize nonsense, but now it looks like NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD may be a goner too. (To be confirmed ASAP) 

On the other hand, every adversity and setback also carries with it is the seed of an equal or greater success.

Can you imagine if THE BONEYARD teamed up with NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD?If you never hit either of these haunts, you missed out on some primo haunted experiences!

More than once, we canceled our big city haunt plans to spend Halloween night at NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD! We know this was somewhat off the beaten path of Detroit, but wild horses couldn't keep us away! 

Another special gem of a haunt that's close to our hearts is TERROR ON 27 in ASHLEY, which IS open this year. We missed them last year, so that makes it a priority this season.  Make no mistake; TERROR ON 27 is a top-notch haunt that delivers the goods.

SEPTEMBER 30, 2016 FRIDAY 3 AM - The first review for the season is now complete.

SEPTEMBER 29, 2016 THURSDAY 3:30 PM - HELP MR. WIZARD!

We're still having periodic computer problems...what a bummer. Trying to get some new malware protection, and take new steps to keep this computer with the website on the air.

Anyways...the first review for the year is now under construction...finally! :)

Lots more hot stuff coming soon...

SEPTEMBER 24, 2016 SATURDAY 7 PM - MORE BIG OPENINGS TONIGHT!

Tonight is opening night for NIGHT TERRORS in YPSILANTI and SLAUGHTER HOUSE & HAUNTED CORN MAZE in FOWLERVILLE.

SEPTEMBER 23, 2016 FRIDAY 4 PM - AND AWAY WE GO!

Lots of primo haunts open tonight, and some have already opened like THE REALM OF DARKNESS, EXIT 13, CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE, CORPSE BARN SHOCK HAUNT, DARKSYDE ACRES,  DEADLAND HAUNTED HOUSE, ROTTEN MANOR, JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD,  THE HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK among others too.

But tonight is your first chance to experience: BLAKE'S BIG APPLE HAUNTED ATTRACTIONS in ARMADA, EREBUS in PONTIAC, HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTIONin WESTLAND, THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR and  ST. LUCIFER'S SCREAMPARK in GRAND BLANC.

THE DEADLAND HAUNTED HOUSE in WARREN has a new show that we're anxious to see, and shame on us for missing them last year. A thousand lashes with a wet noodle! It doesn't hurt, but it's awfully annoying.

SEPTEMBER 23, 2016 FRIDAY 2 AM - RETURN OF A GIANT!

THE SCREAM MACHINE in TAYLOR is back!

Last year we lamented losing them, but it was only a hiatus it seems until they could relocate to Ecorse Road. After all, the building they occupied off Eurekahas been demolished along with the Gibraltar Trade Center.

Their Discount Opening Weekend starts tonight! www.TheScreamMachine.net

SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 THURSDAY 3 PM - BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!

I can't believe the timing, and how perfectly this all worked out...

Okay, so we finally made it last year to the HAUNTED PRISON in MANSFIELD, OHIO after hearing so much about it for years...AND WE WERE FLABBERGASTED TOTALLY. (See Awards - Current)

The operator there told us it might be the last year for the HAUNTED PRISON though, as he'd received a proposal to create a NEW MEGA HAUNT in TOLEDO, OHIO!

Long-time favorite TERRORTOWN is gone now from Toledo, as the creator was snatched up by ROB ZOMBIE to do his annual haunts.

Sure enough, the HAUNTED PRISON is now history. After all, the only constant in this industry is change.

But that's okay, and now that it's official, we're pleased to announce theHAUNTED PLANET EXPERIENCE in TOLEDO which opens tomorrow.www.hauntedx.com

This guy is a master of his craft, and we can't wait to check out his new creation!

Stay tuned for more big news coming soon!

APRIL 28, 2016 THURSDAY 10 PM - NATIONAL SUPER HERO DAY TODAY!

I didn't know there was such a thing...saw on TV news earlier that today isNational Super Hero Day.

More and more, WOMEN are being cast in superhero type roles. And sure enough, one image I saw in the article was of SUPERWOMAN which is great!

HOWEVER, we know of another FEMALE SUPERHERO that will be making a big splash in the near future that's the physical inverse of SUPERWOMAN and most others we've seen recently in the media and Cosplay world...

Enter CANDY FISHALOT, a most unlikely heroine that will confuse and yet endear you as no other heroine ever has.

Not only that, CANDY accomplishes this despite smelling strongly of dead fish.

Candy was given a pet cod fish she named HERMAN, and she quickly took to him.

But she was concerned that HERMAN was missing out on the best experiences life has to offer, and felt he should explore the world with her.

So she liberated him from the stuffy confines of his fishbowl, and placed him in her left rear pocket for safe keeping.

Mentally stuck in ALICE IN WONDERLAND, Candy had no idea of the consequences of Herman's "liberation from solitary confinement."

More later about Candy's SUPERHERO qualities, but now let's give you a mental image of her physical profile to form in your mind:

First, picture this...a leggy super tall ultra curvaceous model with an hour-glass figure and very large bust.

CANDY FISHALOT is the complete opposite of that.

She stands a full 4 feet and 11 inches tall, and is a skinny twig of a girl.

She's a natural blonde, but her hair is neither straight nor curly.

Candy's small stature means limited physical strength, but she is fearless, relentless and determined...most of the time.

Candy cuts her own hair to save money with awkward results; otherwise she couldn't take poor FIN-TIN to Burger King every Tuesday.

Her smile instantly melts even the meanest people on earth.

Her wardrobe features blue jeans and T-shirts of obscure bands like THE MAHAVISHNU ORCHESTRA, KING CRIMSON, and ATOMIC ROOSTER.

Candy refuses to wear high heels, going back to a traumatic incident earlier.

Her then boyfriend insisted on buying her an expensive pair of high heels, saying she couldn't be pretty unless she was taller. Candy craved acceptance, and accepted his premise.

On their first (and last) date, he took her to a fly-by-night haunted house.

They paid no attention to the footwear of its patrons, and Candy took a spill on a metal grating surface.

She landed at the feet of the ugly witch hag actress and Candy looked up to plea for help.

But the witch just laughed and pointed at her, wickedly cackling "LOSER... LOSER...GROW UP LITTLE GIRL!" She then picked Candy up like a whiffle balland tossed her out the Chicken Exit head first, landing on muddy cement.

Adding insult to injury, the witch opened the door for her parting shot adding "AND GROW SOME BOOBS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TWIG GIRL."

Candy crawled away dejected, and yet later this moment became the seed leading to an incredible journey that landed CANDY ON TOP OF THE WORLD AND A BONA FIDE SUPER HERO FOR THE AGES.

It's an incredible FORREST GUMP like story, rooted firmly in fish, compassion, and of course, Zioptis.

Stay tuned, as we reveal amazing serendipities and more about Candy's pet fish Herman that will shock you and further confuse the issues.

APRIL 3, 2016 SUNDAY 3 PM - TELL ME A STORY, MOMMY...

Little kids around the world ask this question every day, and the results can be astronomical...like with Candy Fishalot...as you will see later...

But that brings to mind one overriding element of the BEST HAUNTS regardless of their size or budget...mainly, WHAT'S THEIR STORY?

Of course you still expect the scares and wild imagery.

But it's got to be a lot more, and it doesn't take lots of money either...just some high quality imagination...Mr. Burns comes to mind offhand...and not Monty from The Simpsons...haha GOTCHA Chicken S!

So when a haunt (like for example THE HAUNTED HYDRO in FREMONT, OHIO)uses powerful storytelling to mix up your emotions while scrambling your senses, the "sum total exceeds the parts" and THAT spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S for any haunt.

Oh yeah...one night we were at the HYDRO and there was ZERO WIND that night and the FOG WAS UNGODLY! That was the most incredible fog I can remember at a haunt with SCREAM PARK in NILES coming in a  close second.

Closer to Detroit, you can take a mystical medieval journey and subject yourself to time machine experiments all in the same city!

Stories are everywhere, and new interesting ones are always developing in the overactive imaginations of coffee guzzlers all over the place...perhaps even right around the corner from you.

THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF WORDS

COMING SOON - HOW JUST FOUR WORDS changed Candy Fishalot's life forever at age 6.

These FOUR WORDS instantly gave her the weapon to slay every dragon she would face for the rest of her life.

She is invincible. She is CANDY FISHALOT. Love her. Or else.

APRIL 2, 2016 SATURDAY 5 AM - GETTING TO KNOW YOUR PALS AT ZIOPTIS

A CANDY FISHALOT PRIMER - NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

(Coming soon! However, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody Candy's strange secrets that we will be revealing exclusively to you. If you tell, Dale Bombast will hunt you down and remove your limbs. Thank you.)

APRIL 1, 2016 FRIDAY 11 PM - A FAMILY TREE LIKE NO OTHER

If you've been calling Zioptis Dial-a-Trip for any length of time (it started in 1986) the names Dail Bombast (AKA Dale Bombast), Fin-Tin the Dirt-Faced Clown, and Candy Fishalot are old hat to you.

You probably remember for example, that Dail is the WORLD'S BIGGEST TALK SHOW HOST, as he is forty-five feet tall. That is big.

Fin-Tin the Dirt-faced Clown is hard to miss as well. Nobody knows for sure how old he is, because he only confides in his shiny, yellow trike...and Candy Fishalot.

Fin-Tin sports a genuine Cuban cigar butt, which takes its special place in the corner of his mouth. He is proud to help rid the neighborhood of litter.

Fin-Tin can walk, but he chooses only to ride his trike instead as his sole mode of transportation. Sadly, the child's tricycle is not rated for continuous duty while supporting a severly overweight adult man.

Unfortunately, the resulting display puts most people off, and he wears an ill-advised crop-top styled T-shirt upon which Candy has written the word "FRIEND" with a Blue Sharpie pen as best she can.

CANDY FISHALOT is FIN-TIN'S ONLY HUMAN FRIEND.

Candy neither pities or judges Fin-Tin.

Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.

You think Fin-Tin is weird?

Well, just wait until you hear the backstory of Candy Fishalot and Her Magnificent Tryst with Destiny...coming soon to a Zioptis near you.

You will laugh. You will cry. It is confusing.

Perhaps you can help poor Candy Fishalot figure it all out. But probably not.

Thank you.

APRIL 1, 2016 FRIDAY 10 PM - PRANKSTERS OF THE NEW FRONTIER

First of all, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

Hope you had some silly fun, and THAT is exactly what led to the creation of Zioptis to begin with.

But now we need your help, please.

It's our dear friend CANDY FISHALOT.

As you may know, she is a Charter Member of The Zioptis Family Tree.

Candy has gone missing, and we've already checked all the fish stores to see if she has secured employment at a local fish monger.

As you know, Candy Fishalot absolutely adores fish...and not just to eat either.

She has a pet fish, like many other young women in the area.

We better not tell you the details of that yet...we want you to like Candy Fishalot!

WAIT...more than that we want you to ADORE HER...and you will soon enough...

Despite some peculiar social deviancies. she's a loveable waif that's impossible to hate.

Stay tuned...it's gets weirder...but better too.

Trust me. I'm Zioptis, and you're not.

Whoops that's a snarky little tidbit that rubbed off on me from Candy. She often reminds people that, "I'M CANDY FISHALOT, and you're not."

Didn't mean to be rude. I am sorry.

(This excursion into new territory is proudly brought to you by Aunt Gilda's Famous Poached Man Swine with savory Dillwad Sauce - in the dairy case.)

HAPPY EASTER FROM YOUR PALS AT ZIOPTIS!

FEBRUARY 1, 2016 MONDAY 11 PM - Just spotted this wild creative artwork, some of which would be right at home in a haunt! Check it out - short collection at www.bloodyloud.com/surreal-pop-art-todd-schorr/  or the full collection at www.ToddSchorr.com

FEBRUARY 1, 2016 MONDAY 11 AM - MAXWORLD!

We recently heard from an original cast member of MAXWORLD which was the very first haunt ever to be reviewed by ZIOPTIS in the late 1980's.

We are still in touch with DOCTOR PLASMODIUS who also was with MAXWORLD,so this additional contact is most welcome.

Better yet, this new contact lots of specific memories of wild stuff that happened there and even pictures too!

We already have a write-up of MAXWORLD in the "Closed" section, which appears at the very end of the list. But now we have some fresh ammunition for some great new stories! Stay tuned...

JANUARY 1, 2016 FRIDAY 2 AM - WHOOPPEEE....HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DECEMBER 25, 2015 FRIDAY - MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

NOVEMBER 26, 2015 THURSDAY 1 PM - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

May your turkey be moist, and your laughter loud as we give thanks for the many blessings in our lives.

NOVEMBER 14, 2015 SATURDAY 10 PM - CUTTING TO THE CHASE

You may have heard us mention before that THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC is actually haunted.

Rightfully, anyone should be wary of such claims unless you can personally see documented proof.

Now what if an actual big time church pastor were to tell his entire congregation about UNEXPLAINABLE SUPERNATURAL WEIRDNESS AT THE REALM OF DARKNESS AND SHOW THE VIDEO PROOF???

We'll post the full back story later and IT'S A DOOZIE but for now just check out the video on the following link called "Angels and Demons" from 11/7/15. Don't skip far ahead, as the really good part starts at about 2 minutes and 30 seconds

www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

NOVEMBER 8, 2015 SUNDAY 10 PM - YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP - PART 2 OF A 3 PART TRUE STORY

This is an amazing 3 part story, and we already told you part 1...but without some key details on purpose...and we'll get to those in a bit...

But first here's part 1 again: OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 3 PM - Can't say where...but we're involved in a video shoot tonight at a big time haunt in connection with a major organization. 

And then OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - The video shoot went well, and final footage will be taken today...this is going to be seen by many thousands!

Now here's part 2, and I want you to experience this just as thousands already have. So imagine this for a moment - first we rewind to last Saturday night which was Halloween or the following Sunday morning...

You're going to a church service of all things, where they have a killer band and services on Saturday evening and Sunday morning. Sometimes the pastor's message is on giant video screens, and when service starts you see the video called The Battle of Unbelief from Oct. 31, 2015 at this website: www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

NOVEMBER 2, 2015 MONDAY 5 PM - THE ARTIFICIALLY EXTENDED FAMILY LIKE NO OTHER

We'd like to give special thanks to all the haunt operators for their very kind assistance this season!

Our aggressive touring schedule of visiting tons of haunts is only made possible by your continuing cooperation and support. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

NOVEMBER 1, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM - THE FAT LADY SINGS

ASTONISHING!!!

We ended our 2015 haunt tour with a NUCLEAR BLAST at the HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE in MANSFIELD, OHIO.

This place is ACTUALLY HAUNTED to begin with as it was a densely packed prison with sickening living conditions, and many inmates died horrible violent deaths there.

The creepy vibe is already CRANKED TO ELEVEN, so adding a top notch spooky show on top of that SENDS THIS THRU THE ROOF!!! 

OCTOBER 31, 2015 SATURDAY 5:30 PM - AT LONG LAST WE END UP IN JAIL

I can't believe it - WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO PRISON TONIGHT. It's the

HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE in MANSFIELD, OHIO! www.hauntedx.com

OCTOBER 31, 2015 SATURDAY 2 AM - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

OCTOBER 30, 2015 FRIDAY 5:30 AM - Just saw the yard haunt to end all yard haunts on the CBS OVERNIGHT NEWS. It's put on by a former designer for the TV show THE SIMPSONS at his house in VAN NUYS, CALIFORNIA. See it here -www.BoneyIsland.com Just looking some more at their site - the part with "past Tours" is HILARIOUS!

OCTOBER 30, 2015 FRIDAY 1 AM - MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

On devil's night tonight, we'll hit some haunts along a stretch of I-96 that's chock full of haunted greatness and we're totally stoked!

IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

Usually this trip has us stopping in STOCKBRIDGE for THE BONE YARD, but we already went there this season and it was outstanding...gotta tell you something about it though:

Just thinking...one of their grandiose stunts this year could easily win the award for the ULTIMATE JUXTAPOSITION IN A HAUNT DISPLAY EVER!

This is intense, check this out - first THE DEVIL HIMSELF greets you and banters a bit before telling you to look at a LARGE WOODEN CROSS of all things...FLASH!!! A GIANT PROPANE BLAST goes off right behind the cross, then the devil commands you to close your eyes.

But when you close your eyes, you still see the cross and only the cross thanks to the natural persistence-of-vision your eyes are subject to.

So here we have the devil himself commanding you to an action that leaves the image of the cross LITERALLY BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN - the very symbol that's the antithesis of the devil himself!

This is some WILD STORY TELLING that goes beyond just spoken words!

And the operator himself is a key actor in THE BONE YARD, and we totally love when a head honcho is right there in the thick of it cranking the fun to eleven! (See their reviews)

Ah yes...we're going to have a fabulous devil's night for sure...but somehow it's just not going to feel right...driving past STOCKBRIDGE and not stopping to visit our favorite flames that both warmed our hearts and shook our souls! www.BoneYardHaunt.com

OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 4 PM - ROLL OVER ROB ZOMBIE, TELL TZYCHOWSKI THE NEWS... (guitar solo)

We've been hearing a lot of a certain band at haunts this year besides ROB ZOMBIE - WHAT?! 

It's GODSMACK, and they're GIANT IN DETROIT.

In fact, some friends asked me to come with them a few weeks ago to the GODSMACK show at The Fillmore in Detroit which was killer!

Then, last weekend we're on our way to Flint and I brought some CD's. Without saying anything, I put on the first self-titled GODSMACK album and we were jammin'.

We got to ST. LUCIFER'S and after going thru walked over to 13 FEET BELOW... guess what they were jammin' on the outdoor sound system?

YUP - the first self-titled GODSMACK ALBUM! (doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo)

And their recent release LIVE AND INSPIRED was recorded in Detroit. They had 30 shows recorded to choose from, but Detroit was the easy choice! They explain why in this video short - www.vevo.com/watch/godsmack/Live-Inspired-(Webisode-1)-(Explici t)/USUV7120 0895 

Then, checking out more GODSMACK on VEVO, we found that the video for AWAKE has many prison scenes...and then shows signs saying "MANSFIELD PENITENTARY." 

Hmmm...is this the same facility that the HAUNTED PRISON in MANSFIELD, OHIO is located in? www.hauntedx.com

We might just have to SPEND DEVIL'S NIGHT IN PRISON to find out!

OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - The video shoot went well, and final footage will be taken today...this is going to be seen by many thousands!

OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 1 AM - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE HAUNTED HOUSE WHERE_____________________________? (fill in the blank)

Ever play the "Telephone Game," where a circle of people whispers a "secret" to each other one at a time until it goes all the way around?

The first person writes the "secret" down, and compares it to what the final person says. It's NEVER the same, and the results can be hilarious.

Now, imagine a "Telephone Game" where the "secret" is about an outrageous haunted house where all sorts of disgusting stuff is going on.

So every year there's FAKE HAUNT STORIES that are stretched to new dimensions of absurdity with every re-telling.

Multiply this concept by several thousand or so, and you've got this ever evolving story about an elusive HAUNT FROM BEYOND THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, yet lives a life that cannot die!

The details vary widely, but there's always one thing in common with all of these amazing stories - nobody can ever tell you exactly where the haunt is. Why?

It's simple. It's only an urban legend.

But in peoples' minds...ah, that's a whole different animal.

There, it mutates itself and slays even the most rugged He-Man that eats pit bulls for breakfast.

As far as we know, the first version of this story goes something like this:

"There's a haunt that costs $100 to get in, but there's 10 rooms and you get back $10 for every room you make it thru.

But unspeakable things happen there, and three people already went insane.

In fact, NOBODY has made it past the third room!  It's put on by a frat house in Ann Arbor that got banned and kicked out of U of M.

The crazy haunt from hell includes renegade Medical Students who got booted from U of M MED SCHOOL for stealing body parts from cadavers!

They performed hideous experiments, and decided to see what they could get away with before being shut down by the Police.

The first room is filled with 6 inches of water, and you must remove your shoes and socks. (They do promise to return them later when you exit.)There are hundreds of snakes slithering around your feet and in between your toes, but all non-poisonous so they can't get sued.

The second room is totally pitch black. As you make your way to a hallway end, you feel gooey slimy stuff on the wall. It's human remains, mixed in with turkey guts to completely fill the wall.

You get blood all over your clothes. It smells like death, and everybody gags and throws up.

The third room is only 25 feet square, but has 500 live rats. You still have no shoes or socks, so they go to town on your feet and ankles.

But to avoid lawsuits all the rats have been de-teethed so you don't actually get bit, just gummed." (end of FICTIONAL story - do NOT repeat this to anyone!)

OCTOBER 25, 2015 SUNDAY 2 AM - SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

Redemption at last - NIGHT TERRORS at WIARD'S TOTALLY ROCKED IT!

We were long overdue for visiting this long-time favorite haunt, and saw for ourselves why it continues to draw giant crowds at this apple orchard in Ypsilanti year-after-year.

Only problem though - there's just SO much to do at NIGHT TERRORS that we only had time for one more haunt afterwards, PSYCHO PATH in FLAT ROCK. 

Our apologies to BOUGHAN'S HAUNTED HAYRIDE in BELLEVILLE and REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS in ROMULUS for missing them...BOO HOO!

OCTOBER 22, 2015 THURSDAY 2 PM - SPARTAN SPOOKS TAKE OVER FOUR STORY BUILDING IN EAST LANSING!

The MSU DRAMA STUDENTS are once again staging a LARGE SCALE HAUNT in their building. We experienced it in 2013 (see Reviews 2013_A) and were amazed at all the innovative ways they used the existing features of the building, essentially creating BIG BUDGET THRILLS ON A SHOESTRING. See Not in FF/HG for details.

OCTOBER 9, 2015 FRIDAY 4 PM - GOALS, VISIONS & MASTER PLANS...SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Have you ever noticed that you'll do something to produce a specific result, only to find the outcome is totally different from your original vision?

You can plan until you're blue in the face, but you never know for sure how the details and circumstances will play out, or even if you'll have to start over again...

The haunt industry is a FANTASY DRIVEN BUSINESS, which means it's limited only by your imagination...and then of course your ability to pull it off.

Earlier, we talked about the unusually late start (which is tonight) this year for THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS. (See SEPTEMBER 20, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM)

So what did they do with their extra time to get ready for this season? What FANTASIES AND ADVENTURES WILL COME TO LIFE this year?? www.The-Haunt.com

OCTOBER 8, 2015 THURSDAY 12:30 AM - BIGGER & BADDER / THRILL ME, CHILL ME!

Somebody asked what the ultimate PHYSICAL THRILL HAUNT is, and that's a great question!

No question the hands-down winner is MONSTER TRUCK RIDES in LANSING at MONGOOSE RACING (see Reviews 2011_B) but we also really liked VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD in ST. CHARLES next to the water tower.

Hmmm... MONSTER TRUCK RIDES is closed this year, but VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD is open and we had a blast there last year!

This year marks the 30th anniversary for VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD, so they MUST be doing something right!  And their Facebook page is rockin'www.facebook.com/stchhauntedhouse

SEPTEMBER 29, 2015 TUESDAY 10 PM - MORE THAN A FEELING

Anybody remember NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE?

It was a haunt constructed aboard an old BOB-LO ISLAND BOAT. The crews' quarters were left just as they were ages ago, and the resulting sensations and emotions simply could not be duplicated or simulated by any prop.

NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE is long gone - BUT there's another haunt that also has AUTHENTIC ANTIQUES being used as props...and there's been some serious weirdness.

As you probably know, we're talking about THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC which is having their MS AWARENESS SCREAM FOR THE CURE ALL NIGHT BLOWOUT this coming SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2015.

Besides the haunt itself, there are all kinds of wild interactive stuff and a fabulous food spread too. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

Back to the story, and this is all true not kidding at all here...one of antiques at REALM that gave the paranormal investigators the HEEBIE JEEBIES BIG TIME was a large wooden chest containing stacks of hand written letters.

The chest was originally locked shut, but the haunt operator picked the lock...

These letters had US stamps on them, but many stamps were uncancelled with the envelopes still sealed.

I really shouldn't be telling you this part...

Being the curious sort, the haunt operator had opened the chest to see what she could find. Many letters were from men in wartime military writing home, some of them certainly for the very last time.

And when the paranormal researchers arrived... they GOT A COLD CHILL from this chest of letters, full of memories and dreams lost in limbo land...and yelled "CLOSE THAT CHEST AND LEAVE IT ALONE."

She quickly complied, as she was seeking counsel...

But it was already too late.

Actors had been freaking out after hair raising encounters with certain props...many while in storage rooms like a TELEPHONE BOOTH THAT RANG with no wires connected to it ... and then stuff started happening IN THE DISPLAY TO PATRONS TOO ... some may have thought it was part of the show.

But it wasn't.

PANDORA'S BOX (or chest in this case) had already been opened and spilled...I think you have to sign a waiver against psychological damage and such...remember this is ALL NIGHT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE!

But if you're adventurous enough, you can explore and investigate for yourself this Saturday Oct. 3rd 2015! www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

SEPTEMBER 28, 2015 MONDAY 7 PM - CALLING ALL JUGALOS!

We know many of you DIEHARD ICP FANS will be making the PILGRIMAGE TO CHICAGO NEXT SATURDAY, and we have a very special tip for you that is sure to MAXIMIZE THE CRAZINESS!

We mentioned this before...but for the newbie's out there:

THE FLYING FAYGO FUELED FRENZY DELUXE

Before leaving Detroit, grab some DIET FAYGO COLA in 2 liter plastic bottles AND some MENTOS brand breath mints. Get some non-diet FAYGO as well to drink, as you will NOT be drinking the diet soda...but it has special properties as you'll see in A FABULOUS WAY!

At the show, try to get up front so everybody can see this - open a 2 liter DIET FAYGO bottle, take one swig then carefully drop 2 MENTOS brand mints into the bottle.

The resulting chemical reaction turns the bottle into A SHOOTING FOUNTAIN OF FAYGO FOAM that is A SURE WINNER FOR THE ULTIMATE ICP FAYGO EXPERIENCE!

Wait a second...the ICP CONCERT is sandwiched between TWO ROB ZOMBIE CONCERTS...so it seems like Rob would be somewhere close by...and after all IT'S ZOMBIE'S HAUNT this is all happening at...

Hmmm...do you think it's possible there could be a surprise guest star at the ICP CONCERT?

Maybe they could get...oh, perhaps Hootie and the Blowfish.

Nah...Hootie might not be hip to ICP...hmmm... who else could they possibly get to be a surprise guest star for ICP AT ROB ZOMBIE'S HAUNT?

Shut my mouth, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye...

AUGUST 31, 2015 MONDAY 8 PM - A SAD DAY ON ELM STREET

WES CRAVEN has just passed on we're sad to report. He was the creator of some of the absolute best slasher movies, and that makes him family because…

Haunting and scary movies go hand-in-hand, and Wes' passion for creating some of the most engaging, gripping movies in that genre is legendary worldwide.

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT was his breakout debut film in 1972, and I remember it spawning all sorts of mini-urban legends in much the same way tall tales about haunted houses get passed around in autumn every year...

(putting on memory cap) "OMG, I just heard that Jimmy took Susie to see Last House On The Left and JIMMY freaked out and peed his pants (or barfed, pooped, whatever) and they got kicked out of the theater!"

So it's a SAD DAY ON ELM STREET...but that reminds me...let's flip this feeling around 180 now...just thinking back right now and reliving the experience in my brain...of going to a KILLER HAUNT with a Wes Craven inspired name that's a little off the beaten path of Detroit but is TOTALLY WORTH DRIVING TO...

It's A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD in WEBBERVILLE, and we've become so attached to this haunt that TWICE we blew off our BIG CITY PLANS RIGHT ON HALLOWEEN to go there instead!

AUGUST 26, 2015 WEDNESDAY 1 AM - THE NEW DIMENSION IN HAUNT LIGHTING JUST WAITING TO BE TAPPED

As you may know, we're always very curious about how special lighting helps the haunt experience.

One of the most dramatic pro lighting effects ever (in any venue) is the so-called LIQUID SKY, where a laser shines through fog (or haze from a hazer) and creates a distinct 3-D image in mid air. The first time you see this, it's a GIANT WOW MOMENT!

Often a fan is used to draw air towards the laser, producing a spinning tunnel that looks like a COSMIC PORTAL DIRECTLY TO THE FOURTH DIMENSION!

For ages, RED LASERS were the only affordable choice for most venues.

But eventually, green lasers became affordable as with the American DJ MicroGalaxian which also has a red laser and can produce an impressive multi-colored liquid sky for only $99.

Then, it was the BLUE LASER that became cost prohibitive.

But we knew that couldn't last - in fact about a year ago we ran an article about a blue laser projector for home use we saw on an infomercial.

That was a consumer level product, but we imagined it still being able to produce an impressive BLUE LASER LIQUID SKY DISPLAY if the room size and ambient lighting was right.

That was then. This is now:

We just spotted a really cool looking red and green laser projector that also features a BLUE LED BACKWASH effect that's priced to move! www.lighting-geek.com/laser-lights/3d-laser/laser-star-project or 

So who will be the FIRST ONE ON THE BLOCK with a haunt that will TOTALLY BLOW OUR MINDS with the FIRST BLUE LASER LIQUID SKY?

JUNE 4, 2015 THURSDAY 7 PM - ROCK AIN'T DEAD, IT'S JUST IN REHAB

I just heard a band on ROCKSTATION (internet radio station from Switzerland) that sounds like they could be perfect for haunted house sound systems where you'd often hear ROB ZOMBIE and such...

It's the TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, with songs like "MONSTER IN ME" and "ROCK AIN'T DEAD" which you can see here with one of the "lyric videos" athttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIrNsHBSw1k 

SOMEBODY needs to give ROB ZOMBIE a run for his money! haha

Hmm...above link did not work when tested just now, but if you search YouTube for Texas Hippie Coalition it'll come right up.

FEBRUARY 20, 2015 FRIDAY 2 AM - HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

Get the moon dust out, because over 100 countries are celebrating the new lunar year right now, and in China the big national TV event drew OVER 600 MILLION VIEWERS according to CBC News in Canada!

That's more than a long list of award shows you're familiar with like The Oscars COMBINED! Take a look at some of the craziness:www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/1061166 1/Lunar-New-Year-cele brations-from-around-the-globe.html

SO, WHAT ABOUT THE HAUNT MARKET IN CHINA?

I'll bet they would GO TOTALLY BONKERS if only they could experience a World Class Haunt like for example, THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS.

OCTOBER 31, 2014 FRIDAY 2:30 PM - LET THE SNOW HOWL

Did you ever plan to do something fun with your friends...and then some sort of EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCE HITS...but you go anyway and have the time of your life?

Down the road, those are the stories remembered the most and talked about as well.

It's just human nature...the prim-and-proper everything was perfect just as planned events never get re-told and embellished later on.

HOOTIN' AND HOWLIN' IN THE BLUSTERY SNOW - THE GLASS IS WAY MORE THAN HALF FULL 

The weather for Halloween in Michigan and Ohio is horrible, with rain today and snow and howling winds later right during trick-or-treat time.

That's a good thing.

HUH?

At its' very core, Trick-or-Treating is far more about shared experiences than the sugar-fueled frenzy which fades quickly.

The shared experience of going out on Halloween despite the lousy weather will last far longer than the secret stash of Snickers bars...and then someday...it's like "Oh yeah? That's nothing...one time we actually went TRICK OR TREATING IN THE SNOW...there was gale force winds...nobody else went and we filled three pillow cases...except Freddie...he filled SIX pillow cases...they had to pump his stomach later..."

Thank you, Mother Nature.

Rest In Peace, Adam T. Ladd
June 19, 1974 - May 30, 2014