Archive 12

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CORPSE BARN in JACKSON smoked us with the hands-down best Liquid Sky laser room this season! Nobody else has done it this well to our knowledge, except for THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN which is closed this year.

THE HAUNTING was unexpectedly shuttered last year, with an announcement that they might be back...but for now are letting the beast rest.

THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN was a mega haunt that also performed large scale, and then small scale, MAGIC SHOWS that confused your brain and left you scratching your head! He defied laws of physics, and could read your mind with uncanny precision.

THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN (closed now) pulled off some of the MOST AMAZING GIANT SCALE GAGS in haunt history.

Our favorite involved a custom enormous rig that pulled off the biggest, and fastest, switcheroo we have ever seen anywhere! Never mind what it was...they still might come back...it would be SO glorious...sigh...it was such a cool drive there too...oh well, nothing man-made lasts forever...

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 3 AM - ENDING WITH AN ATOMIC BLAST

WOW! How cool to finish the season with some of the really big monsters on the scene...EREBUS...TERRRORTOWN...HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK...and now...

ONE LAST HURRAH AT A FIVE-BANGER HAUNT WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO, SCREAM PARK IN NILES!

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JULY 4, 2014 FRIDAY - KABOOM...HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Millions of small celebrations will break out today at backyard barbecue parties full of fun and super tasty grilled delights. And later, thousands of fireworks displays will erupt in a blaze of glory with all the OOOO's and AHHH's...GOD BLESS AMERICA, THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH!

Then next weekend, it's a special off-season haunt event at the mighty EREBUS as they present their first ever SUMMER SCREAM TOTAL BLACKOUT! Details here: www.HauntedPontiac.com

Hey, even the ultra-studs out there are all like "I'M the tough guy...nothing fazes me"...UNTIL the lights go out!

Fear knows NO LIMITS at EREBUS, which held top honors in the Guinness Book of World Records for the world's longest walk-through haunted attraction from August of 2005 until September of 2009. And then some yahoo (not in Michigan) decided to add a few extra feet to his haunt tipping the scale in his favor. No big deal...WE know who was the ORIGINATOR of this award's very existence!

Can't help but remember another really wild event at the OTHER Mega Haunt in Pontiac which of course is the REALM OF DARKNESS. They offered a one-night only ALL NIGHT experience at their haunt the last few years which drew rave reviews, and benefited MS research.

SO MANY weird things kept happening at REALM that independent paranormal researchers were brought in to document it all...NOT KIDDING. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

JUNE 14, 2014 SATURDAY - FIREWORKS IN SOUTHGATE TONIGHT!

It's the annual SOUTHGATE HERITAGE DAYS, with carnival rides and THE MEGA 80'S are headlining tonight from 9PM to Midnight. Rock on!

Details and lots more listings at www.michiganfireworks.com

MAY 30. 2014 FRIDAY - DOWNRIVER DETONATION ALERT

Oh boy, there's FIREWORKS IN GROSSE ILE tonight! In the past few years, they've really done it up right with THREE launch points for the fireworks and some amazing ground displays second to none!

No need to wait for the Fourth of July...almost every weekend from now until then there's fireworks somewhere in Michigan! We always check here to get the latest listings: www.michiganfireworks.com

MAY 13, 2014 TUESDAY 10 PM - TELEVISION TEASER ALERT

The movie "The Haunted Mansion" starring Eddie Murphy is playing right now until midnight on Bounce TV, which is channel 7.2 in Detroit...looks like fun!

APRIL 25, 2014 FRIDAY - GET 'YER SCREAM ON!

MOTOR CITY NIGHTMARES runs this weekend at the Novi Sheraton with a lineup that promises to be the biggest and best so far in their 6 year history!

It's a fun teaser for the next haunt season; click here for the full scoop: www.motorcitynightmares.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2014 TUESDAY - IT'S A SMALL WORLD, AFTERALL

Crusin' on Michigan Avenue in Dearborn today, I saw a dark colored Dodge sedan with a giant decal on the back window that caught my eye because it said "DARKSYDE ACRES HAUNTED HOUSE"!

Lucky me, he turned onto Telegraph same as I had to. Then I ended up next to him at a red light, and I motioned for him to roll down his window. Turns out his buddy owns DARKSYDE, so I told him to say HI! to Rob from Zioptis.

Unfortunately, DARKSYDE ACRES is one of the major players in the haunt scene we missed last year. But we've always had a blast there, and word-of-mouth has been perhaps their best advertising!

JANUARY 1, 2014 WEDNESDAY - HAPPY NEW YEAR!

AWARDS NOW POSTED.

DECEMBER 24, 2013 TUESDAY - JUST ONE MORE YEAR OF CHILDHOOD

I'm the youngest of four boys, so I was the last to believe in Santa as a kid.

As we hit the age of reasoning at about 7 years old, each of us found cracks in the story about Santa. We knew that stuff heavier than helium could not fly, and that there were MILLIONS of deliveries to make in just one night.

But dad had us covered...for awhile anyway. When I was about 8 years old, he sat us all down to fess up about Santa.

He said, "Santa is NOT....using reindeer to fly over the world. That's just a legend. Santa actually has a fleet of Mack trucks, because a sleigh just can't hold all those presents."

Cool. It's still on!

But the next year, even the Mack trucks seemed like a stretch.

Part of me wanted to hold on though, so I told my next older brother I thought I knew the real deal about Santa...but could we believe for just one more year? He enthusiastically said YES! and we had one last year of childhood magic.

But Dad still continued a great family Christmas tradition.

On Christmas Eve he would drive around the neighborhood in our station wagon, open the window and shake a very loud set of sleigh bells close to midnight. Any chance to pour some gas on the flames of fun should be exploited to the max, and Dad was an expert!

So is Santa real?

I don't know about you, but I'm leaving cookies and milk for him tonight...just in case.

DECEMBER 22, 2013 SUNDAY 2 PM - MORE FIREWORKS STILL!

Click here for best info: www.MichiganFireworks.com

DECEMBER 6, 2013 FRIDAY - FIREWORKS & FREE CONCERT TOMORROW!

Reviews and results still being completed, but in the meantime here's some free fun that flew under our radar...until now.

It's the Christmas in Ida Festival which was founded in 1982. It runs this year Friday Dec. 6 thru Sunday Dec. 8. Click their website below for full details, but here are some highlights:

HIGH SPEED LAWN MOWER RACING - Friday 6 PM

SANTA CLAUS ARRIVES - Saturday 8:45 AM

PEG HARRIS DANCE STUDIO - Saturday 12:15 PM

LIGHTHOUSE DANCE COMPANY - Saturday 1:25 PM

ANITA'S DANCE COMPANY OF WISCONSIN - Saturday 3:05 PM

KEITH ANDERSON COUNTRY MUSIC CONCERT - Saturday 5:15 PM

CHAIN SAW ART (!) - Saturday, all day

HOLIDAY HOUNDS ON PARADE - Saturday 2:15 PM

FAMILY CHRISTMAS FIREWORKS - Saturday 6:30 PM

PARADE OF LIGHTS - Saturday 7 PM

Add a mix of German, Italian, Louisiana Cajun, Mexican, and Polish Cuisine all 3 days and it's a treat for your tummy too! www.ChristmasInIda.com/eventschedule.php

NOVEMBER 13, 2013 WEDNESDAY - 2013 reviews now split into 4 sections for easier navigating. We're still finishing up the reviews, and more juicy stuff about the haunt scene coming soon...

NOVEMBER 11, 2013, MONDAY 11:11 AM - THIS IS THE AGE OF ZIOPTIS

HAPPY ELEVEN-ELEVEN, ELEVEN-ELEVEN!

Many of us stumble through life not realizing the special, and some would say magical, properties of the number ELEVEN-ELEVEN...and even more so the date ELEVEN-ELEVEN where we find ourselves today.

Yes, of course, it's also VETERAN'S DAY. And we're certainly grateful to them for all they've done to ensure we can come and go as we please, anywhere our hearts desire.

But ELEVEN-ELEVEN was around long before veterans even existed, and will be around long after they, and the rest of us have returned to dust.

YOU CAN'T TOP A ZIOPTIS

If that doesn't command some respect, consider these facts:

1. ELEVEN-ELEVEN is a versatile number. It's the same forwards and backwards, and upside down.

2. ELEVEN-ELEVEN is your gateway to telephonic zaniness, through the much ballyhooed but never duplicated ZIOPTIS DIAL-A-TRIP at (313) 274-1111. As you know, Zioptis has been providing telephonic excellence for over one thousand years (actually, ELEVEN HUNDRED & ELEVEN years).

3. Strange sects have sprung up throughout the world, celebrating and researching the unusual powers of ELEVEN-ELEVEN.

4. The popular comedian ELLEN DEGENERES is obsessed with ELEVEN-ELEVEN...you are not alone.

There. Feel better?

NOVEMBER 6, 2013 WEDNESDAY 1 PM - CARELESS TIDBITS

Whoopsie...my partner left a message for me about "some funny typos...it must have been really late when you were writing that!" I can't wait to see what they are...and maybe you even smiled if you saw them yourself...it's all good.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE review now expanded!

NOVEMBER 5, 2013 TUESDAY 6 PM - RESILIENT NIGHTMARES / MEMORY LANE CALLING...

Every year, haunts come and haunts go.

The only constant is change, and every year the list of haunts we sorely miss grows.

If we wish-upon-a-star, perhaps some of the magic will return!

But until then here's some nostalgic noogies lurking in our overactive imaginations:

Note: This list was later expanded, revised, and now appears under the tab marked "Closed."

1. THE HAUNTING, ADRIAN - world class magician staged large & small scale mind blowing magic shows, first major Stu Smith 3D display, first effective green laser liquid sky room, used local college drama students, master of misdirection, best bang-for-the-buck, mind boggling impossible situations involving actors and pathways, giant scale room illusions, vigorous haunt cross-promotion.

2. HAUNTED HOLLOWS, ARMADA - fabulous haunt was open in 2012, incredible invisible actor, awarded BEST TWISTED GAG in 2011, actress "Scarlet" won BEST CREEPY ACTOR in 2011, largest drive-thru black hole, industry stunned when unexpectedly shuttered in 2013, and future status unknown.

3. McCURDY'S REVENGE, CORUNNA - great storytelling at volunteer haunt, multiple sections and themes within large building, awesome authentic props, closed in 2013 due to other projects, future unknown. We happened to run into one of the friendly organizers of this haunt this season at the new Nightmare Express in Owosso, and we were so glad to tell her how much we loved their previous years! If we lose McCURDY'S, a small part of us will die too...hard to explain...but this had become a special destination off-the-beaten-path of Detroit with a special creativity all their own. (See reviews in previous years)

4. NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE, TOLEDO, LORAIN, OHIO & RIVER ROUGE, MICHIGAN - was on an original Bob-Lo boat, original artifacts for juxtaposition between antique and high tech, actor with extendo legs bolting about at ridiculous speeds, closed by EPA for emitting unknown chemicals.

5. HAUNTED THEATRE (on Livernois), DETROIT - had dance routine w/ UV skeleton costumes lit by mercury arc blacklight (produces no visible light), dog actor, very realistic moving severed hand on table, final spinning room powered by inverted golf cart.

6. CREATURE CASTLE/ PSYCHO ASYLUM, MONROE - first we saw using voice pitch bend on live, custom taunting thru PA.

7. ISLE OF TERROR at CROAKIE'S PARTY ISLAND, MONROE - astonishing body sliced-in-half gag w/ actor that had no legs.

8. DEADLY INTENTIONS, WARREN - pushed the envelope to the edge, had trademark personality characters like Morbid Melvin w/ his beanie-copter hat, actors w/ TV appearances on horror movie shows.

9. HAUNTED HILL ACRESBELLEVILLE - early magic shows, convincing "battle" ensues during hayride, made feature length horror movie, unexpectedly shuttered in 2013.

10. HAUNTED HALLOWS, WESTLAND - fabulous volunteer hayride/forest walk lacked resources to produce high quality show in 2013.

11. EXTREME SCREAM, TAYLOR & WATERFORD - old school at its best, shocked fans with extreme sideshow type freaks.

12. HOUSE OF NIGHTMARESWARREN - first haunt by creator of REALM OF DARKNESS.

13. HAUNTED GALLERY, STERLING HEIGHTS and PONTIAC - first haunt by creator of EREBUS.

14. TERRORZONE at JOHNNY APPLESEED'S, WASHINGTON TWP. - first haunt by creator of SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK.

15. WICKED AT LASER'S EDGE, CLINTON TWP. - excellent acting and story lines, in a video game arcade.

16. NIGHTCRAWLERS at CJ BARRYMORE'S, CLINTON TWP. - first we saw with high-end subwoofers (Klipsch brand), army of stilt creatures in final maze.

17. PIGMAN'S LAIR, CHELSEA - disturbing newspaper articles in waiting area, super tall laboratory with mad scientist.

18. GIYRA ISLAND OF TERRORS GROSSE ILE - in former airport building, hydraulic floor moves dramatically with movie scene, first with actor emerging from movie screen, giant slide exit.

19. HAUNTED WINERY, FARMINGTON - tall smokestack on super old building with built in ambience off the charts.

20. CHAINSAW CREEK, TOLEDO, OHIO - multi-attraction haunt easily moved from city to city, unknown status.

21. UNCLE SCOOTER'S CHOP SHOP, FENTON - zany flash-in-the-pan one year haunt.

22. GREAT FENTON BEAN COMPANY, FENTON - we took a chance & drove a long way in violent rain to get here, and be their next to last customers ever, first memory of high-speed vibrating metal floor.

23. PLYMOUTH/CANTON JAYCEE'S ESTATE OF THE DAMNED, PLYMOUTH - in large warehouse, hard to find.

24. REAPER'S DUNGEON, LIVONIA - early high quality trailer haunt still exists, may resurface.

25. THE HOMER MILL, HOMER - giant, old imposing building burned down several years ago.

26. GRUESOME ENCOUNTERSOTISVILLE - high intensity flash-in-the-pan.

27. MOUNT FRIGHTENBRIGHTON - in way-old building, had room with moving wall worn by actor.

28. DEMENTIA AT HAMPTON, ROCHESTER HILLS - actors eating strange things, statues come to life.

29. NOX, NOVI - tricycle riding maniac roams excellent short-lived haunt.

30. HOUSE OF HORRORS, DAVISBURG - cool short-lived haunt at county fairgrounds.

31. NIGHT STALKERS, MILLINGTON - multi-level building haunt was wildly popular, off the beaten path from Detroit but worth the trip. NOTE: This haunt is back in 2017!

32. HAUNTED TRAIL PROJECT AT LOCH LOMAND, FLINT - had fabulous old man carved into tree on right, Beavis & Butthead silliness, was sold and will become an animal farm.

33. TERROR IN THE ATTIC, CANTON - 2001 flash-in-the-pan haunt at the Center Stage.

34. HAUNTED THEATER, WAYNE - in the Historic Wayne Theater circa 2005.

35. MELVINDALE DAD'S CLUB HAYRIDEMELVINDALE - on Outer Drive, first hayride we saw with mirror-box illusions and an effective Motel Hell scene with actors standing in deep camouflaged holes.

36. HERSHEY HAUNTED HOUSE, DEARBORN - first haunt with a roller coaster inside a building, first we saw using recorded and live sound effects with custom taunting by name in 2002, reverted to an insurance office building on Michigan Avenue.

37. LEO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS, RIVERVIEW - Lion's Club trailer haunt was a fixture at the Sportsman Den parking lot; excellent forest scenes.

38. JAYCEE'S SLAUGHTER HOUSE, REDFORD TWP. - a multi-level building at Beech Daly & 5 mile, all levels used effectively, 2002.

39. WESTLAND JAYCEE'S, WESTLAND - core-value trailer haunt failed to appear in 2013.

40. ALLEN PARK JAYCEE'S, ALLEN PARK - long-time trailer haunt in ACO parking lot at Allen Road & Southfield for many years.

41. MUTILATION MANSION, MADISON HEIGHTS - perhaps the very first Jaycee's trailer haunt, a precursor to things yet-to-come.

42. CLARKSTON FOUNTAINS, CLARKSTON - wacky golf cart ride thru haunted golf course, won OUTSTANDING ACTRESS in 2009 for the highly spontaneous clown girl.

43. SOUTHFIELD'S HAUNTED NURSERYSOUTHFIELD - excellent haunt in 9 large buildings, closed due to noise complaints from neighbors.

44. DARK HOUSE THE HAUNTED MANSIONBROWN CITY - 2010 flash-in-the-pan haunt in mansion with short outdoor walk ending.

45. HAUNTED OPERA HOUSE OF HOWELL, HOWELL - walk thru haunt downstairs, worn-out movie played upstairs with actors roaming.

46. CLIO AREA AMPHITHEATER, CLIO - intro was in theater seats, giant propane fire blasts.

47. DR. PHOBIA'S HAUNTED HOUSE, WARREN - small but detailed haunt was open year-round at the Universal Mall.

48. CHAMBERS OF HORRORS / SPOOKTACULAR, STERLING HEIGHTS - was at Freedom Hill in 2000 and 2001.

49. HAUNTFEST, CLARKSTON, ROCHESTER and GRAND BLANC - early multi-attraction haunt, carnival rides, mirrored fun house, pay-one-price for all activities.

50. CHELSEA FEARGROUNDSCHELSEA - 2011 flash-in-the-pan haunt with awesome use of old analog electronic equipment, great mad scientist action.

51. FRENZY HAUNTED HOUSE, ALLEGAN - 2009 flash-in-the-pan haunt, small bridge leads to an abandoned sawmill that looks like giant house, some rooms left as-is to great effect.

52. TRUMBULLPLEX HAUNTED HAUS, DETROIT - one day only haunt, won CREEPIEST HAUNT OF 2001, measured you for body bag w/ all sizes available, baby served on dinner plate, working gas stove brews "bat stew," gruesome actor hanging from meat hook.

53. DEMONIC DEMONS, DETROIT - our hands-down MOST INTENSE, SCARY HAUNT EVER, highly physically demanding, sudden steep falling, forced to crawl 1/2 way thru in total darkness, extreme exit slide. (See archived review in "Wayne Cty - Cities A thru S")

Above list was later expanded, revised, and now appears under the tab marked "Closed."

NOVEMBER 4, 2013 MONDAY 9 PM - GOOD TO THE LAST ZIOPTIS

Here's the list of haunts we toured in 2013, in the order visited:

1. ST. LUCIFER'S HAUNTED ASYLUM, FLINT  9/13/13

2. 13 FEET UNDER, FLINT  9/13/13

3. TERRORFIED FOREST & MANOR, PINCKNEY  9/21/13

4. THE BONEYARD, STOCKBRIDGE  9/21/13

5. SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK, LENOX TWP.  9/27/13

6. HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, LENOX TWP.  9/27/13

7. PHANTOM FOREST HAUNTED HAYRIDE, GROSSE ILE  9/28/13

8. HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME, INKSTER  9/29/13

9. HUSH, WESTLAND  9/29/13 NEW!

10. THE SCREAM MACHINE, TAYLOR  9/29/13

11. ERWIN'S BARN OF HORRORS, SOUTH LYON  10/4/13

12. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD, WEBBERVILLE  10/4/13

13. SLAUGHTER HOUSE, FOWLERVILLE  10/4/13

14. THE HAUNT, GRAND RAPIDS  10/5/13

15. HOUSE OF FEAR, HAZEL PARK 10/6/13

16. DEADLANDS HAUNTED HOUSE, WARREN  10/6/13 NEW!

17. KRAZY HILDA'S TRAIL OF TERRORS, CHELSEA  10/11/13

18. CORPSE BARN SHOCK HAUNT, JACKSON  10/11/13 

19. JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD  10/11/13

20. BESTMAZE TRAIL OF TERROR, WILLIAMSTON  10/12/13

21. SHAWHAVEN HAUNTED FARM, MASON  10/12/13

22. A NIGHTMARE ON HARRIS ROAD, BELLEVILLE  10/18/13

23. REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS, ROMULUS 10/18/13

24. SINISTER HAUNTED HOUSE, UTICA  10/19/13

25. REALM OF DARKNESS, PONTIAC  10/19/13

26. DREADLANDS HAUNT OF DAVISON, DAVISON  10/20/13

27. SUNDANCE RIDING STABLES HAUNTED HAYRIDE, GRAND LEDGE 10/25/13

28. NIGHTMARE EXPRESS, OWOSSO  10/25/13  NEW!

29. ST. CHARLES VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD, ST. CHARLES  10/25/13

30. LAKE "EERIE" HAUNTED HAYRIDE, BROWNSTOWN TWP.  10/26/13

31. PSYCHO PATH, FLAT ROCK  10/26/13

32. PAPP PARK HAYRIDE & TERROR ZONE, TAYLOR  10/26/13

33. TERROR ON 27, ASHLEY  10/27/13

34. CARNAGE CARNIVAL - MSU HAUNTED AUDITORIUM, EAST LANSING 10/29/13

35. THE CRYPT, FLINT  10/30/13

36. BURTON HAUNTED FOREST, BURTON  10/30/13

37. EXIT 13, FLINT  10/30/13 NEW!

38. EREBUS, PONTIAC  10/31/13

39. TERRORTOWN, TOLEDO, OHIO  11/1/13

40. HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK, FREMONT, OHIO  11/1/13

41. SCREAM PARK, NILES  11/2/13

Many thanks to the haunt operators and workers, for helping us achieve our methodical madness...IT WAS FABULOUS!!!

NOVEMBER 3, 2013 SUNDAY 9 PM - Recordings are being reviewed for the remaining reviews to be written. Doing each haunt justice is something we take seriously! Each review will be announced as soon as it's posted.

NOVEMBER 3, 2013 SUNDAY 3 AM - SCREAMING YELLOW ZONKERS!

If you know what they are, you're a kid that never grew up...and we just found the perfect place for you at SCREAM PARK in NILES.

And if you don't know what SCREAMING YELLOW ZONKERS are, it's still the perfect place for you.

But in NILES? Are you crazy? Isn't that like 3 hours away from Detroit?

Yes. BUT you can easily spend more than 3 hours here, and still not see everything. So, for us it was worth the trip!

This behemoth started as a JAYCEE'S TRAILER HAUNT, once again reminding us that the journey of a lifetime starts with a single step.

And whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve!

This haunt is bursting-at-the-seams with enormous achievements. (Review coming soon)

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 3 PM - ENDING WITH AN ATOMIC BLAST

WOW! How cool to finish the season with some of the really big monsters on the scene...EREBUS...TERRRORTOWN...HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK...and now...

ONE LAST HURRAH AT A FIVE-BANGER HAUNT WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO...drumroll...ta-dah! It's SCREAM PARK in NILES.

We've heard insane things about this place, but never mind all that.

Check THIS out: Just this season, SCREAM PARK reached a major milestone when a whopping ONE MILLION & FIVE-HUNDRED THOUSAND haunt event visits were logged through their gates! (To clarify, there are FIVE haunted events at SCREAM PARK and tickets for all five of those events were counted towards the total.)

A STAGGERING MILLION AND A HALF HAUNT EVENT VISITS, AND NOT EVEN ONE BELONGS TO US??

Something's wrong with that picture, and tonight we'll PAINT THE TOWN RED to make it right!

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 2 PM - PULL UP A CHAIR...

PIGTAILS & PUMPKINS, BLESSED BY A GOURD  by Zioptis

Inspired by Crazy Bob & adapted from a story by Bennet Cerf

Melissa counted out the last pennies of her fare, on a small bus in rural Wisconsin in 1967.

She was 14, and it was the day after Halloween. The kids in front of the bus were still celebrating, bragging about how much candy their pillow cases held and such.

Near the back of the bus was mean Mr. Turner.

Nobody knew much about him, except that he used to give each Trick-or-Treater a small packet of candy on Halloween.

That stopped a few years ago, but a bright Jack-o-Lantern still appeared on his front porch every Halloween.

He sat on the bus with no expression on his face, and in his feeble hands was said Jack-o-Lantern.

The crudely carved crooked teeth in the pumpkin resembled his own, and his clothes were ragged with the shirt buttoned wrong.

Strangely, Melissa walked right past her friends, and sat down across from mean Mr. Turner who continued to look forward with an empty stare.

Then suddenly he spun the pumpkin to face her, with its' silly face as he yelled "BOO!" and went back to his empty stare.

Melissa shrieked just as she had the weekend before at the local Jaycee's Haunted House, but then grinned a grin like the Great Pumpkin Himself.

At the next stop, the not-so-mean-after all Mr. Turner got up to leave.

But he hesitated for a moment, and then thrust the jolly Jack-o-Lantern into the girl's hands. He said, "The pumpkin made you smile, ¦I think my wife would like you to have it. I'll tell her I gave it to you."

The old man hobbled out of the bus, and just before he disappeared from sight out the back window, Melissa saw him walk through the gates into a small cemetery.

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 11 AM - STORYTELLER TO STORYTELLER: THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATION!

A special thanks to CRAZY BOB at the HAUNTED HYDRO...but not for what you'd think.

I was struggling with the new pumpkin story mentioned earlier, and we haven't seen CRAZY BOB for too long who is a whiz of an impromptu storyteller/comedian.

So we get there and he has GIANT BOOKS twice as tall as me! It was like stepping into a library from ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

There's concepts-from-beyond stories flying left and right from both BOB and a wild movie they produced...mental medication/stimulation coming on strong...woke up this morning and DING!

It all came to me in a flash...time to get the fingers busy...stay tuned for "PUMPKINS & PIGTAILS - BLESSED BY A GOURD."

NOVEMBER 2, 2013 SATURDAY 2 AM - BUCKEYE BRILLIANCE / AS YE SOW...

Don't know where to start...so many stories from just tonight but it's too late right now, so here's the Friday night CLIFF NOTES: went to TERRORTOWN and HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK...both fabulous...awesome original movie...massive clouds of fog...a massive secret to keep...wanted to hit GHOSTLY MANOR too...details later today when we SPILL SOME REALLY BIG BEANS!

NOVEMBER 1, 2013 FRIDAY 5 PM - FLINT FINALE

Not too many haunts still open, but here's TWO KILLER HAUNTS still on in FLINT: ST. LUCIFERS'S HAUNTED ASYLUM and EXIT 13, which has a new operator this year.

NOVEMBER 1, 2013 FRIDAY 1 PM - BUCKEYE THUNDERVISION

CRAZY BOB AND TERRORTOWN TONIGHT!!!

TERRORTOWN is a MUST SEE haunt for us, and we haven't missed it in years! www.TerrorTown.net

But also in Ohio, we love the HAUNTED HYDRO where CRAZY BOB is known to spin some tall tales that will crack you up! It's been way too long since we had our dose of BOB, so tonight's the night! www.TheHauntedHydro.com

OCTOBER 31, 2013 THURSDAY 7 PM - BOOMSHRIEKER

Tonight we hit the big time, with the former GUINESS WORLD RECORDS WORLD'S LARGEST HAUNTED HOUSE from MR. HAUNTED HOUSE himself!

Unless your head is under a rock, you know we're talkin' about EREBUS.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!

OCTOBER 31, 2013 THURSDAY 3:30 PM - HEARTHSIDE WITH ELLEN DEGENERES

Just talked to my partner, and she insisted I should watch THE ELLEN SHOW because she goes crazy for Halloween with silly gags, costumes and such.

So I dusted off my rabbit ears...pulled the TV out of the closet...she has a fireplace with a fire behind her...and I must say that ELLEN IS HILARIOUS!

She's dressed as Nicky Minaj, with giant fake boobs and long flowing blonde hair. A GIANT Frankenstein sneaks up and freaks out the guest, dressed in a clever fake-arms costume.

Just watched some more of ELLEN...very POSITIVE in all ways...a real feel-good show!

WARNING - SOCIAL COMMENTARY CONTENT FOLLOWS:

In a sea of garbage from the media, the ELLEN show is a breath of fresh air.

I remember that JFK once said the only TV he let his kids watch was PBS.

If JFK were alive now, he would puke.

And then maybe come out with a new line of T-shirts and bumper stickers featuring the slogan:

EMBRACE NATURE, KILL YOUR TV!

Just sayin'...

BTW, ELLEN repeats at 4 PM on ABC channel 13 in Toledo.

OCTOBER 31, 2013 THURSDAY 2 PM - TONS OF MADNESS

The new ROB ZOMBIE HAUNT that TERRORTOWN in TOLEDO just helped develop looks cool! Take a gander here: www.robzombie.com/2013/06/rob-zombies-great-american-nightma re

Also, ROB ZOMBIE will perform live tonight on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE on ABC-TV.

OCTOBER 31, 2013 THURSDAY 1 PM - The new GREAT PUMPKIN story I'm writing isn't finished yet...and what a deal...another Halloween-related story just popped into the noggin so I need to write 2 stories now!

Working title on #2 is "OF PIGTAILS & THE PUMPKIN PRESENT."

In the meantime, here's a rerun from last year:

TO FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN  by Zioptis

What three simple words conjure up imagery of childlike innocence and magical feelings of role-playing aspiration?

That's easy.

"Trick or Treat!" Ah, those magic words...are they still echoing in your mind? I hope so.

In childhood we learned how make-believe and fantasy role-playing could enrich our lives largely through Halloween. And it tasted great!

My brothers and I used pillow cases on our way to collect our just rewards of laughter and sugar based thrills.

Some naughty kids switched costumes and hit the same houses again for extra candy.

But we never tried it, we couldn't risk Santa punishing us come Christmas time. He's always watching, you know.

We had a neighborhood costume contest each year. All the kids marched down the block, in hopes of winning even more candy and bragging rights that lasted much longer than the Snickers and Baby Ruth bars.

I'm the youngest of four boys, and one year my oldest brother took first place in the contest with his homemade robot get-up. It was made from cardboard boxes, wire, switches, a battery, and light bulbs he flashed as fast as he could.

That was the only time I remember being allowed to tag along with him for Halloween.

I still remember all four of us in that Halloween parade, proudly marching to the rhythm of songs children sing in their hearts when happy and free from cares...ignorance is bliss.

But today's world doesn't seem so care free, and is much crueler than when we waited for the next Halloween adventure.

We learned that life doesn't care about your dreams. We learned life doesn't care about your plans. And worst of all, we learned life isn't fair.

It seems just too far away sometimes... but really it's all a state-of-mind. In a world where the only constant is change, I can still experience that same joy and once again hear those same songs in the hearts of the kids on the sidewalks every October 31st.

So if on some dreary day before next October you feel down, knowing that society and life don't care, just remembers the special day will come again.

You'll role-play and fantasize without shame and relive childlike innocence.

Or go the other route and dress like a tramp, get away with it, and maybe even be commended and rewarded!

Whatever your little heart desires is OK.

And you won't need ruby red slippers, or to click your heels together three times.

All you need is to keep in your heart and soul the spirit of those three magical, timeless words: "Trick or Treat!"

And you'll feel like a kid again.

OCTOBER 31, 2013 THURSDAY 3 AM - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

May your tricks be few, and your treats many!

It looks like the rain could make a mud bath tonight, but that won't dampen our spirits as we head into the final stretch of the 2013 haunt season.

The toughest part will be making some difficult cuts, and the Big Players we'll miss are looking like BLAKE'S HAUNTED BIG APPLE, DARKSYDE ACRES, and GHOSTLY MANOR. Rats! ``

******************************************************

THIS WAS REMOVED FROM THE "CLOSED" SECTION ON OCTOBER 7, 2014, AFTER WE FOUND OUT THEY'RE OPEN THIS YEAR!:

3. McCURDY'S REVENGE, CORUNNA - great storytelling at volunteer haunt, multiple sections and themes within large building, awesome authentic props, closed in 2013 due to other projects, future unknown. We happened to run into one of the friendly organizers of this haunt this season at the new Nightmare Express in Owosso, and we were so glad to tell her how much we loved their previous years! If we lose McCURDY'S, a small part of us will die too...hard to explain...but this had become a special destination off-the-beaten-path of Detroit with a special creativity all their own. (See reviews in previous years)

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