JULY 11, 2016 MONDAY 3 PM - DOWN AND DIRTY AND A OKAY!

Purposely taking a MUD BATH is usually frowned on, and throwing mud is even worse...UNLESS you're at the annual WAYNE COUNTY MUD DAY.

This celebration of silliness and dirt takes place tomorrow from 11:30 AM - 1 PM at the Nankin Mills area of Hines Park in Westland. www.waynecounty.com/events/4518.htm 

JUNE 14, 2016 TUESDAY 12:15 AM - A GARAGE SALE LIKE NO OTHER

Since 2006, The Motor City Haunt Club has been hosting their HAUNTED GARAGE SALE. It's a fabulous idea, and a big win-win for all involved!

The next one is coming up on Saturday, September 10, 2016 and will be held at the new location of HUSH which is the old Skateland West in Westland.

Get in touch with Karen Murphy or Hush to get on board, and help this become another big success!

JUNE 6, 2016 - OUT OF MY MIND ON MONDAY MOANIN'!

MAY 3, 2016 TUESDAY 11 AM - BUCKEYE SHAKEUP

Just caught a rumbling of big change coming next season in Ohio -stay tuned...

APRIL 28, 2016 THURSDAY 10 PM - NATIONAL SUPER HERO DAY TODAY!

I didn't know there was such a thing...saw on TV news earlier that today is National Super Hero Day.

More and more, WOMEN are being cast in superhero type roles. And sure enough, one image I saw in the article was of SUPERWOMAN which is great!

HOWEVER, we know of another FEMALE SUPERHERO that will be making a big splash in the near future that's the physical inverse of SUPERWOMAN and most others we've seen recently in the media and Cosplay world...

Enter CANDY FISHALOT, a most unlikely heroine that will confuse and yet endear you as no other heroine ever has.

Not only that, CANDY accomplishes this despite smelling strongly of dead fish.

Candy was given a pet cod fish she named HERMAN, and she quickly took to him.

But she was concerned that HERMAN was missing out on the best experiences life has to offer, and felt he should explore the world with her.

So she liberated him from the stuffy confines of his fishbowl, and placed him in her left rear pocket for safe keeping.

Mentally stuck in ALICE IN WONDERLAND, Candy had no idea of the consequences of Herman's "liberation from solitary confinement."

More later about Candy's SUPERHERO qualities, but now let's give you a mental image of her profile to form in your mind:

First, picture Jane Parker, Candy’s next door neighbor and best friend: a leggy super tall ultra curvaceous model with an hour-glass figure and very large bust.

CANDY FISHALOT is the complete opposite of that.

She stands a full 4 feet and 11 inches tall, and is a skinny twig of a girl.

She's a natural blonde, but her hair is neither straight nor curly.

Candy cuts her own hair to save money with awkward results; otherwise she couldn't take FIN-TIN to Burger King every Tuesday.

Her smile instantly melts even the meanest people on earth.

Her wardrobe features blue jeans and T-shirts of obscure bands like THE MAHAVISHNU ORCHESTRA, KING CRIMSON, and ATOMIC ROOSTER.

Candy refuses to wear high heels, going back to a traumatic incident earlier.

Her then boyfriend insisted on buying her an expensive pair of high heels, saying she couldn't be pretty unless she was taller. Candy craved acceptance, and accepted his premise.

On their first (and last) date, he took her to a fly-by-night haunted house.

They paid no attention to the footwear of its patrons, and Candy took a spill on a metal grating surface.

She landed at the feet of the ugly witch hag actress and Candy looked up to plea for help.

But the witch just laughed and pointed at her, wickedly cackling "LOSER... LOSER...GROW UP LITTLE GIRL!" She then picked Candy up like a whiffle balland tossed her out the Chicken Exit head first, landing on muddy cement.

Adding insult to injury, the witch opened the door for her parting shot adding "AND GROW SOME BOOBS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TWIG GIRL."

Candy crawled away dejected, and yet later this moment became the seed leading to an incredible journey that landed CANDY ON TOP OF THE WORLD AND A BONA FIDE SUPER HERO FOR THE AGES.

It's an incredible FORREST GUMP like story, rooted firmly in fish, compassion, and of course, Zioptis.

Stay tuned, as we reveal amazing serendipities and more about Candy's pet fish Herman that will shock you and further confuse the issues.

APRIL 3, 2016 SUNDAY 3 PM - TELL ME A STORY, MOMMY...

Little kids around the world ask this question every day, and the results can be astronomical...like with Candy Fishalot...as you will see later...

But that brings to mind one overriding element of the BEST HAUNTS regardless of their size or budget...mainly, WHAT'S THEIR STORY?

Of course you still expect the scares and wild imagery.

But it's got to be a lot more, and it doesn't take lots of money either...just some high quality imagination...Mr. Burns comes to mind offhand...and not Monty from The Simpsons...haha GOTCHA Chicken S!

So when a haunt (like for example THE HAUNTED HYDRO in FREMONT, OHIO) uses powerful storytelling to mix up your emotions while scrambling your senses, the "sum total exceeds the parts" and THAT spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S for any haunt.

Oh yeah...one night we were at the HYDRO and there was ZERO WIND that night and the FOG WAS UNGODLY! That was the most incredible fog I can remember at a haunt with SCREAM PARK in NILES coming in a  close second.

Closer to Detroit, you can take a mystical medieval journey and subject yourself to time machine experiments all in the same city!

Stories are everywhere, and new interesting ones are always developing in the overactive imaginations of coffee guzzlers all over the place...perhaps even right around the corner from you.

THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF WORDS

COMING SOON - HOW JUST FOUR WORDS changed Candy Fishalot's life forever at age 6.

These FOUR WORDS instantly gave her the weapon to slay every dragon she would face for the rest of her life.

She is invincible. She is CANDY FISHALOT. Love her. Or else.

APRIL 2, 2016 SATURDAY 5 AM - GETTING TO KNOW YOUR PALS AT ZIOPTIS

A CANDY FISHALOT PRIMER - NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

(Coming soon! However, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody Candy's strange secrets that we will be revealing exclusively to you. If you tell, Dale Bombast will hunt you down and remove your limbs. Thank you.)

APRIL 1, 2016 FRIDAY 11 PM - A FAMILY TREE LIKE NO OTHER

If you've been calling Zioptis Dial-a-Trip for any length of time (it started in 1986) the names Dail Bombast (AKA Dale Bombast), Fin-Tin the Dirt-Faced Clown, and Candy Fishalot are old hat to you.

You probably remember for example, that Dail is the WORLD'S BIGGEST TALK SHOW HOST, as he is forty-five feet tall. That is big.

Fin-Tin the Dirt-faced Clown is hard to miss as well. Nobody knows for sure how old he is, because he only confides in his shiny, yellow trike...and Candy Fishalot.

Fin-Tin sports a genuine Cuban cigar butt, which takes its special place in the corner of his mouth. He is proud to help rid the neighborhood of litter.

Fin-Tin can walk, but he chooses only to ride his trike instead as his sole mode of transportation. Sadly, the child's tricycle is not rated for continuous duty while supporting a severly overweight adult man.

Unfortunately, the resulting display puts most people off, and he wears an ill-advised crop-top styled T-shirt upon which Candy has written the word "FRIEND" with a Blue Sharpie pen as best she can.

CANDY FISHALOT is FIN-TIN'S ONLY HUMAN FRIEND.

Candy neither pities or judges Fin-Tin.

Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.

You think Fin-Tin is weird?

Well, just wait until you hear the backstory of Candy Fishalot and Her Magnificent Tryst with Destiny...coming soon to a Zioptis near you.

You will laugh. You will cry. It is confusing.

Perhaps you can help poor Candy Fishalot figure it all out. But probably not.

Thank you.

APRIL 1, 2016 FRIDAY 10 PM - PRANKSTERS OF THE NEW FRONTIER

First of all, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

Hope you had some silly fun, and THAT is exactly what led to the creation of Zioptis to begin with.

But now we need your help, please.

It's our dear friend CANDY FISHALOT.

As you may know, she is a Charter Member of The Zioptis Family Tree.

Candy has gone missing, and we've already checked all the fish stores to see if she has secured employment at a local fish monger.

As you know, Candy Fishalot absolutely adores fish...and not just to eat either.

She has a pet fish, like many other young women in the area.

We better not tell you the details of that yet...we want you to like Candy Fishalot!

WAIT...more than that we want you to ADORE HER...and you will soon enough...

Despite some peculiar social deviancies. she's a loveable waif that's impossible to hate.

Stay tuned...it's gets weirder...but better too.

Trust me. I'm Zioptis, and you're not.

Whoops that's a snarky little tidbit that rubbed off on me from Candy. She often reminds people that, "I'M CANDY FISHALOT, and you're not."

Didn't mean to be rude. I am sorry.

(This excursion into new territory is proudly brought to you by Aunt Gilda's Famous Poached Man Swine with savory Dillwad Sauce - in the dairy case.)

MARCH 27, 2016 SUNDAY 11 PM - NEW BLOOD, NEW FRONTIERS

Okay, in talking with my partner (which we do almost daily) we often come back to talking about the new haunts that excite us...wondering what they'll do next and such.

There's lots of new haunts, and we LOVE them all...BUT...the 2 that we find ourselves coming back to and imagining wild stuff about are CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE and HUSH...oh yeah, also PLEASE COME BACK McCURDY'S REVENGE...we miss you so much...not just your awesome haunt either...

Okay...onwards...so I was in Garden City recently for something...and decided to take the "scenic route" back and drove to the brand new location for HUSH in Westland.

The parcel of land they have looks like it could easily skyrocket them and still leave plenty of room for future expansion.

There's an amazing giant parking lot immediately adjoining a small forest, and tons of indoor space too. WE CAN'T WAIT!

Oh yeah...one last thing about HUSH: We went to their final event last February at the old location to join in the "send off" but did not plan to do a review...strictly for enjoyment...

HUSH NAILS IT BIG TIME IN FORD ROAD SWAN SONG

But we got the review anyway with virtually no effort. We spotted two girls totally out-of-control-crazy-freaking-out, running out of the HUSH exit.

Ever prepared, I whipped out my trusty Sony recorder and did an impromtu interview that will be transcribed verbatim in the near future.

While there's a million different ways to get that level of reaction at a haunt,  we often find that it's not so much what you HAVE, but HOW you use it...and of course how good your actors are that determines your success or failure.

This revealing transcript shows clearly that the hapless girl's emotions were scrambled so fast it shook their soul into the Freakout Zone.

The powerful imagery and acrobatic antics of HUSH did them in, and these girls were temporarily NOT in control of their emotionsto their absolute giddy delight and thrill! And THAT kind of energy naturally spills onto anyone close by...LUCKY US!

You blew it...you missed out...why weren't you there at Hush for this great moment? What's wrong with you anyway?

Maybe your boyfriend doesn't spank you enough. I am sorry.

HAPPY EASTER FROM YOUR PALS AT ZIOPTIS!

FEBRUARY 1, 2016 MONDAY 11 PM - Just spotted this wild creative artwork, some of which would be right at home in a haunt! Check it out - short collection at www.bloodyloud.com/surreal-pop-art-todd-schorr/  or the full collection at www.ToddSchorr.com

FEBRUARY 1, 2016 MONDAY 11 AM - MAXWORLD!

We recently heard from an original cast member of MAXWORLDwhich was the very first haunt ever to be reviewed by ZIOPTIS in the late 1980's.

We are still in touch with DOCTOR PLASMODIUS who also was with MAXWORLD, so this additional contact is most welcome.

Better yet, this new contact lots of specific memories of wild stuff that happened there and even pictures too!

We already have a write-up of MAXWORLD in the "Closed" section, which appears at the very end of the list. But now we have some fresh ammunition for some great new stories! Stay tuned...

JANUARY 1, 2016 FRIDAY 2 AM - WHOOPPEEE....HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DECEMBER 25, 2015 FRIDAY - MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

NOVEMBER 26, 2015 THURSDAY 1 PM - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

May your turkey be moist, and your laughter loud as we give thanks for the many blessings in our lives.

NOVEMBER 14, 2015 SATURDAY 10 PM - CUTTING TO THE CHASE

You may have heard us mention before that THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC is actually haunted.

Rightfully, anyone should be wary of such claims unless you can personally see documented proof.

Now what if an actual big time church pastor were to tell his entire congregation about UNEXPLAINABLE SUPERNATURAL WEIRDNESS AT THE REALM OF DARKNESS AND SHOW THE VIDEO PROOF???

We'll post the full back story later and IT'S A DOOZIE but for now just check out the video on the following link called "Angels and Demons" from 11/7/15. Don't skip far ahead, as the really good part starts at about 2 minutes and 30 seconds

www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

NOVEMBER 8, 2015 SUNDAY 10 PM - YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP - PART 2 OF A 3 PART TRUE STORY 

This is an amazing 3 part story, and we already told you part 1...but without some key details on purpose...and we'll get to those in a bit...

But first here's part 1 again: OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 3 PM - Can't say where...but we're involved in a video shoot tonight at a big time haunt in connection with a major organization. 

And then OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - The video shoot went well, and final footage will be taken today...this is going to be seen by many thousands!

Now here's part 2, and I want you to experience this just as thousands already have. So imagine this for a moment - first we rewind to last Saturday night which was Halloween or the following Sunday morning...

You're going to a church service of all things, where they have a killer band and services on Saturday evening and Sunday morning. Sometimes the pastor's message is on giant video screens, and when service starts you see the video called The Battle of Unbelief from Oct. 31, 2015 at this website: www.metrocitychurch.tv/media.php?pageID=134

NOVEMBER 8, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM - NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING

No, not Billy Idol.

It was the bride-to-be we met at ROTTEN MANOR in HOLLY last night.

This mansion is the perfect spot for a festive occasion and she looks absolutely beautiful in her exquisite WHITE WEDDING gown, but is freaking out in twenty directions all at once!

BRIDEZILLA ON STEROIDS

There's no sign of the groom. DID SHE EAT HIM???

He must not have asked those hard relationship questions he should've like "Is this person an emotional train wreck waiting to happen?"

INSECT INVASION AT MAGNIFICENT MANOR

Yup, we just COULD NOT RESIST ROTTEN last night...

And even saw real human females transformed into creepy, crawling creatures as well!

Two different actresses we encountered at ROTTEN MANOR scurried around on all fours, BENT OVER BACKWARDS in much the same stance as a large insect in your garden.

We saw ONE GIANT INSECT during our first visit here early in the season, and other improvements were evident too! Their review will be amended soon.

NOVEMBER 2, 2015 MONDAY 5 PM - THE ARTIFICIALLY EXTENDED FAMILY LIKE NO OTHER

We'd like to give special thanks to all the haunt operators for their very kind assistance this season!

Our aggressive touring schedule of visiting tons of haunts is only made possible by your continuing cooperation and support. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!

NOVEMBER 1, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM - THE FAT LADY SINGS

ASTONISHING!!!

We ended our 2015 haunt tour with a NUCLEAR BLAST at the HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE in MANSFIELD, OHIO.

This place is ACTUALLY HAUNTED to begin with as it was a densely packed prison with sickening living conditions, and many inmates died horrible violent deaths there.

The creepy vibe is already CRANKED TO ELEVEN, so adding a top notch spooky show on top of that SENDS THIS THRU THE ROOF!!! 

OCTOBER 31, 2015 SATURDAY 5:30 PM - AT LONG LAST WE END UP IN JAIL

I can't believe it - WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO PRISON TONIGHT. It's the

HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE in MANSFIELD, OHIO! www.hauntedx.com

OCTOBER 31, 2015 SATURDAY 2 AM - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

OCTOBER 30, 2015 FRIDAY 5:30 AM - Just saw the yard haunt to end all yard haunts on the CBS OVERNIGHT NEWS. It's put on by a former designer for the TV show THE SIMPSONS at his house in VAN NUYS, CALIFORNIA. See it here - www.BoneyIsland.com Just looking some more at their site - the part with "past Tours" is HILARIOUS!

OCTOBER 30, 2015 FRIDAY 1 AM - MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

On devil's night tonight, we'll hit some haunts along a stretch of I-96 that's chock full of haunted greatness and we're totally stoked!

IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

Usually this trip has us stopping in STOCKBRIDGE for THE BONE YARD, but we already went there this season and it was outstanding...gotta tell you something about it though:

Just thinking...one of their grandiose stunts this year could easily win the award for the ULTIMATE JUXTAPOSITION IN A HAUNT DISPLAY EVER!

This is intense, check this out - first THE DEVIL HIMSELF greets you and banters a bit before telling you to look at a LARGE WOODEN CROSS of all things...FLASH!!! A GIANT PROPANE BLAST goes off right behind the cross, then the devil commands you to close your eyes.

But when you close your eyes, you still see the cross and only the cross thanks to the natural persistence-of-vision your eyes are subject to.

So here we have the devil himself commanding you to an action that leaves the image of the cross LITERALLY BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN - the very symbol that's the antithesis of the devil himself!

This is some WILD STORY TELLING that goes beyond just spoken words!

And the operator himself is a key actor in THE BONE YARD, and we totally love when a head honcho is right there in the thick of it cranking the fun to eleven! (See their reviews)

Ah yes...we're going to have a fabulous devil's night for sure...but somehow it's just not going to feel right...driving past STOCKBRIDGE and not stopping to visit our favorite flames that both warmed our hearts and shook our souls! www.BoneYardHaunt.com

OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 4 PM - ROLL OVER ROB ZOMBIE, TELL TYCHOWSKI THE NEWS... (guitar solo)

We've been hearing a lot of a certain band at haunts this year besides ROB ZOMBIE - WHAT?! 

It's GODSMACK, and they're GIANT IN DETROIT.

In fact, some friends asked me to come with them a few weeks ago to the GODSMACK show at The Fillmore in Detroit which was killer!

Then, last weekend we're on our way to Flint and I brought some CD's. Without saying anything, I put on the first self-titled GODSMACK album and we were jammin'.

We got to ST. LUCIFER'S and after going thru walked over to 13 FEET BELOW... guess what they were jammin' on the outdoor sound system?

YUP - the first self-titled GODSMACK ALBUM! (doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo)

And their recent release LIVE AND INSPIRED was recorded in Detroit. They had 30 shows recorded to choose from, but Detroit was the easy choice! They explain why in this video short - www.vevo.com/watch/godsmack/Live-Inspired-(Webisode-1)-(Expli cit)/USUV71200895

Then, checking out more GODSMACK on VEVO, we found that the video for AWAKE has many prison scenes...and then shows signs saying "MANSFIELD PENITENTARY." 

Hmmm...is this the same facility that the HAUNTED PRISON in MANSFIELD, OHIO is located in? www.hauntedx.com

We might just have to SPEND DEVIL'S NIGHT IN PRISON to find out!

OCTOBER 28, 2015 WEDNESDAY 2 AM - The video shoot went well, and final footage will be taken today...this is going to be seen by many thousands!

OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 3 PM - Can't say where...but we're involved in a video shoot tonight at a big time haunt in connection with a major organization.

And here's yet another "can't say where" item: Next year will be the Grand Opening of HUSH HAUNTED THRILL PARK at a brand new location! This is your last chance to see them on Ford Road in Westland.

OCTOBER 27, 2015 TUESDAY 1 AM - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE HAUNTED HOUSE WHERE_____________________________? (fill in the blank)

Ever play the "Telephone Game," where a circle of people whispers a "secret" to each other one at a time until it goes all the way around?

The first person writes the "secret" down, and compares it to what the final person says. It's NEVER the same, and the results can be hilarious.

Now, imagine a "Telephone Game" where the "secret" is about an outrageous haunted house where all sorts of disgusting stuff is going on.

So every year there's FAKE HAUNT STORIES that are stretched to new dimensions of absurdity with every re-telling.

Multiply this concept by several thousand or so, and you've got this ever evolving story about an elusive HAUNT FROM BEYOND THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, yet lives a life that cannot die!

The details vary widely, but there's always one thing in common with all of these amazing stories - nobody can ever tell you exactly where the haunt is. Why?

It's simple. It's only an urban legend.

But in peoples' minds...ah, that's a whole different animal.

There, it mutates itself and slays even the most rugged He-Man that eats pit bulls for breakfast.

As far as we know, the first version of this story goes something like this:

"There's a haunt that costs $100 to get in, but there's 10 rooms and you get back $10 for every room you make it thru.

But unspeakable things happen there, and three people already went insane.

In fact, NOBODY has made it past the third room!  It's put on by a frat house in Ann Arbor that got banned and kicked out of U of M.

The crazy haunt from hell includes renegade Medical Students who got booted from U of M MED SCHOOL for stealing body parts from cadavers!

They performed hideous experiments, and decided to see what they could get away with before being shut down by the Police.

The first room is filled with 6 inches of water, and you must remove your shoes and socks. (They do promise to return them later when you exit.)There are hundreds of snakes slithering around your feet and in between your toes, but all non-poisonous so they can't get sued.

The second room is totally pitch black. As you make your way to a hallway end, you feel gooey slimy stuff on the wall. It's human remains, mixed in with turkey guts to completely fill the wall.

You get blood all over your clothes. It smells like death, and everybody gags and throws up.

The third room is only 25 feet square, but has 500 live rats. You still have no shoes or socks, so they go to town on your feet and ankles.

But to avoid lawsuits all the rats have been de-teethed so you don't actually get bit, just gummed." (end of FICTIONAL story - do NOT repeat this to anyone!)

OCTOBER 26, 2015 MONDAY 10 AM - OUT OF MY MIND ON MONDAY MOANIN'

Over the weekend we survived being put in a gas chamber, were attacked by a hideous giant rodent with an attitude, came face-to-face with almost every fairy tale character you can name, and had a personal encounter with the devil himself!

But we lived to tell the tales, the tales that keep legends alive.

More later about some legends going around, real and fabricated, and commentary on haunted campouts that have been quite the buzz lately.

OCTOBER 25, 2015 SUNDAY 5 PM - More reviews coming soon...but a quick snippet now - at NIGHT TERRORS in YPSILANTI they have a WAY WICKED LIQUID SKY ROOM in the MINE SHAFT section that's to die for!

LIQUID SKY is the lighting effect with laser beams projected into a dark room with fog to get those incredible EYE POPPING 3D BEAMS.

This one has 4 green lasers projecting flat beams in a criss-cross pattern, and also uses a flickering action for a unique flourish that CRANKS THE EYE CANDY FACTOR BIG TIME.

And remember, basic rule of thumb: ANYTIME you see a liquid sky room at any haunt, be sure to LOOK BACKWARDS when you reach the end of the room with the laser display. It's dramatically different suddenly, and on this one you see a perfect "V" shape they adjusted the 2 projectors for - each projector having 2 green beams.

OCTOBER 25, 2015 SUNDAY 2 AM - SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

Redemption at last - NIGHT TERRORS at WIARD'S TOTALLY ROCKED IT!

We were long overdue for visiting this long-time favorite haunt, and saw for ourselves why it continues to draw giant crowds at this apple orchard in Ypsilanti year-after-year.

Only problem though - there's just SO much to do at NIGHT TERRORS that we only had time for one more haunt afterwards, PSYCHO PATH in FLAT ROCK. 

Our apologies to BOUGHAN'S HAUNTED HAYRIDE in BELLEVILLE and REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS in ROMULUS for missing them...BOO HOO!

OCTOBER 24, 2015 SATURDAY 2 AM - Our coin toss came up LENOX TWP. so we hit HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR and SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK.

Both haunts have NEW THRILLS!

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR has an outrageous new chamber in the walk thru haunt, and SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK has an amazing new creature that lurks in the CARNIVAL OF THE DEAD forest walk.

And both haunts were ROCKIN' BIG TIME - Live music from DIGITAL LOVE was groovin' at SCAREFEST and WRIF-FM RADIO was at FARM OF TERROR.

ROCK & ROLL NEVER DIES, BUT SOMETIMES IT HIDES & RUNS AWAY

We talked to the guys at WRIF, and they seemed cool so I asked them about their "ROCK GIRL CAYLA" who we had heard was supposed to come to HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR.

Here's part of an article I just now pulled out of Archive 18 -

SEPTEMBER 10, 2015 THURSDAY 1 PM - WHAT A WAY TO ARRIVE IN STYLE / THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!

I was just talking to my partner...somehow we got to talking about what a blast we have every year in Lenox Twp....

....And on October 9th, WRIF and their ROCK GIRL CAYLA will make the 1st of 2 appearances at HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR.

She will no doubt be dressed to kill and drop-dead gorgeous, but none of that will matter when SHE GOES THROUGH THE HAUNT HERSELF to test her like nobody else would ever have to guts to! It should be A TOTAL SCREAM! (end of article)

OK...but here's the scoop: Cayla never did make it to HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR.

I couldn't help but poke some fun and I asked the RIF guy, "So when it came to actually going through the HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR, your BRAVE LEADER ROCK GIRL CHICKENED OUT???"

He just laughed - my good deed for the day!

Oh yeah...smokin' hot chicks...guys thinking somehow they're "out of their league" and such...reminds me of something waaay amusing we saw at a local pub recently...too long for here...we'll put it in Newest later.

Parking lots at both haunts were near capacity - rough estimate at least 1,000 haunters at each place we're thinking...and Saturday nights are even bigger! After all, this is DETROIT - THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!

OCTOBER 22, 2015 THURSDAY 2 PM - SPARTAN SPOOKS TAKE OVER FOUR STORY BUILDING IN EAST LANSING!

The MSU DRAMA STUDENTS are once again staging a LARGE SCALE HAUNT in their building. We experienced it in 2013 (see Reviews 2013_A) and were amazed at all the innovative ways they used the existing features of the building, essentially creating BIG BUDGET THRILLS ON A SHOESTRING. See Not in FF/HG for details.

OCTOBER 19, 2015 MONDAY 7 AM - HOLLYWOOD COMES TO WINDSOR

Today is the big national election in Canada for the big cheese himself - TRUDEAU or HARPER?

Yeah, yeah, I know... Stephen Harper helped Obama get the Cuba deal done by hosting the SECRET NEGOTIATIONS in Canada, and that's pretty cool...but all I wanna know is HOW COOL THE HAUNTED HOUSES IN CANADA ARE!

They even made a Universal Pictures feature length movie at SCAREHOUSE WINDSOR which is only minutes away from Detroit.

Check out this plotline from THE SCAREHOUSE - Six sorority sisters enter a haunted house attraction, only to discover that there are two former members who seek revenge on them for past misdeeds. www.ScareHouseWindsor.com

SOUNDS LIKE BIG FUN! It won the Best Feature Film at the New York City Horror Film Festival, and their haunt ad promises the movie will be "in wide release across the United States in October of 2015."

OCTOBER 18, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM - RETURN OF THE MASTER

STU SMITH is a name many of you have heard. He's well established as the PREMIERE 3D HAUNT ARTIST, and many of you no doubt saw his early breakout work with THE HAUNTING in ADRIAN.

But THE HAUNTING is gone, so where can you go to see some TRULY STUNNING NEW 3D ART BY STU SMITH?

DING!

We saw it ourselves last night at THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC, which was totally jamming with overflowing parking lots and masses of ecstatic haunters with dropped jaws!

Most of these haunters had never seen anything like this CAPTIVATING SURREAL BIZARRE display with a silly edge for good measure to round out the emotional see-saw Stu takes you on in HOUSE OF NIGHTMARES 3D which is inside REALM.

We also tried a haunt we've never been to, SCOTT'S HAUNTED CORN MAZE, HAYRIDE & ROOMS OF TERROR in OXFORD. This young haunt has a special flavor all its own, and we had a great time there! 

THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME STARTS WITH A SINGLE STEP

We can easily see us following the progress of SCOTT'S, as they've got a good thing going that's getting better and better with each year. And the place is MASSIVE, which presents a lot of amazing possibilities.

Our apologies to EREBUS for missing them last night...BOO HOO!

Thing is, SCOTT'S FARMS was so interesting that we talked with them forever and still didn't do all they had available. We had to skip their HAUNTED CORN MAZE, which is ON TEN ACRES!

OCTOBER 17, 2015 SATURDAY 3 PM - MISTAKE BECOMES REALITY

I remember making a mistake years ago while writing an article about Jackson, and accidently typing UnderGROUND instead of UnderWORLD.

This time it's no mistake, and it's time to SPREAD THE WORD - there is now BOTH JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD AND JACKSON'S UNDERGROUND!

JACKSON'S UNDERGROUND is a brand new haunt experience that is located in the same building as JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD, but unfortunately the UnderGROUND part did not make it to press in the ads.

So what IS JACKSON'S UNDERGROUND? (see review in 2015_B)

OCTOBER 17, 2015 SATURDAY 2 AM - THE BONE YARD and JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD were both totally off the hook last night! What a great start to a REALLY WILD WEEKEND...

OCTOBER 9, 2015 FRIDAY 4 PM - GOALS, VISIONS & MASTER PLANS...SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Have you ever noticed that you'll do something to produce a specific result, only to find the outcome is totally different from your original vision?

You can plan until you're blue in the face, but you never know for sure how the details and circumstances will play out, or even if you'll have to start over again...

The haunt industry is a FANTASY DRIVEN BUSINESS, which means it's limited only by your imagination...and then of course your ability to pull it off.

Earlier, we talked about the unusually late start (which is tonight) this year for THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS. (See SEPTEMBER 20, 2015 SUNDAY 3 AM)

So what did they do with their extra time to get ready for this season? What FANTASIES AND ADVENTURES WILL COME TO LIFE this year?? www.The-Haunt.com

OCTOBER 8, 2015 THURSDAY 12:30 AM - BIGGER & BADDER / THRILL ME, CHILL ME!

Somebody asked what the ultimate PHYSICAL THRILL HAUNT is, and that's a great question!

No question the hands-down winner is MONSTER TRUCK RIDES in LANSING at MONGOOSE RACING (see Reviews 2011_B) but we also really liked VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD in ST. CHARLES next to the water tower.

Hmmm... MONSTER TRUCK RIDES is closed this year, but VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD is open and we had a blast there last year!

This year marks the 30th anniversary for VILLAGE OF THE LIVING DEAD, so they MUST be doing something right!  And their Facebook page is rockin' www.facebook.com/stchhauntedhouse

OCTOBER 6, 2015 TUESDAY 11 PM - Thinking back to last year for a moment - so we're waiting in line at TERRORFIED FOREST in PINCKNEY and the girls in front of us noticed my partner's TERRORTOWN T-SHIRT and bang we're off and running talking about Ohio...

They said they HAD A BLAST AT THE HAUNTED PRISON in MANSFIELD, OHIO.

Hmmm...we can't go to TERRORTOWN cuz they're gone...and we can't wait to hit the HAUNTED HYDRO in FREMONT and GHOSTLY MANOR in SANDUSKY again... BUT... maybe we'll try something new this year (for us) and set the Tom Tom for the HAUNTED PRISON in MANSFIELD!

IT SOUNDS LIKE A SURE WINNER! www.hauntedx.com

OCTOBER 5, 2015 MONDAY 2 AM - SUNDAY FUNDAY!

Impressive! On Sunday night:

KRAZY HILDA'S SCARED THE BEJESUS OUT OF US FOUR TIMES!

HUSH SENT US FLYING INTO A FUTURISTIC NEVER-NEVER LAND!

And they both have GIANT WOWSER NEW PROPS THAT ARE TO DIE FOR.

Even better, they're right down the road from each other on Ford Road!

OCTOBER 3, 2015 SATURDAY 2 AM - TAKE ME DOWN TO SERENDIPITY CITY, WHERE THE GRASS IS GREEN AND THE GHOULS ARE PRETTY

BOO HOO! to slow traffic - we couldn't make it to THE HAUNTED FOREST OF BAVARIA in FRANKENMUTH in time last night, so we also missed BATES HAUNTED SAW MILL in MILLINGTON - RATS!

"Hey, let's hit Dort Highway and see what we find...there's tons of 'em..."

"ST. LUCIFER'S WAS FIRST ON OUR LIST LAST YEAR AND WAS KILLER ...hey, there's the search lights...oh wait, it's THE CRYPT instead...THEY ALWAYS FLOORED US TOO...let's stop in here..."

So we experienced THE CRYPT with their great actors and ambience. They scrambled us every which way and shook our emotions up then spun dry our brains! www.TheCryptHauntedHouse.com

And then, before we could even ask, THE CRYPT suggested we also go to ROTTEN MANOR in HOLLY. As a first year haunt, it was already on our MUST SEE LIST.

It's right across the street from the Renaissance Festival...WOW!!! What a FABULOUS FACADE AND IT IS GIANT...now this I can imagine being what childhood nightmares of haunted houses would look like...HIGHLY IMPRESSIVE HAUNT AND FOREST JOURNEY...and this is just their FIRST YEAR??? A SURE WINNER OFF AND RUNNING OUT OF THE GATE! www.RottenManor.com

SEPTEMBER 29, 2015 TUESDAY 10 PM - MORE THAN A FEELING

Anybody remember NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE?

It was a haunt constructed aboard an old BOB-LO ISLAND BOAT. The crews' quarters were left just as they were ages ago, and the resulting sensations and emotions simply could not be duplicated or simulated by any prop.

NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE is long gone - BUT there's another haunt that also has AUTHENTIC ANTIQUES being used as props...and there's been some serious weirdness.

As you probably know, we're talking about THE REALM OF DARKNESS in PONTIAC which is having their MS AWARENESS SCREAM FOR THE CURE ALL NIGHT BLOWOUT this coming SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2015.

Besides the haunt itself, there are all kinds of wild interactive stuff and a fabulous food spread too. www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

Back to the story, and this is all true not kidding at all here...one of antiques at REALM that gave the paranormal investigators the HEEBIE JEEBIES BIG TIME was a large wooden chest containing stacks of hand written letters.

The chest was originally locked shut, but the haunt operator picked the lock...

These letters had US stamps on them, but many stamps were uncancelled with the envelopes still sealed.

I really shouldn't be telling you this part...

Being the curious sort, the haunt operator had opened the chest to see what she could find. Many letters were from men in wartime military writing home, some of them certainly for the very last time.

And when the paranormal researchers arrived... they GOT A COLD CHILL from this chest of letters, full of memories and dreams lost in limbo land...and yelled "CLOSE THAT CHEST AND LEAVE IT ALONE."

She quickly complied, as she was seeking counsel...

But it was already too late.

Actors had been freaking out after hair raising encounters with certain props...many while in storage rooms like a TELEPHONE BOOTH THAT RANG with no wires connected to it ... and then stuff started happening IN THE DISPLAY TO PATRONS TOO ... some may have thought it was part of the show.

But it wasn't.

PANDORA'S BOX (or chest in this case) had already been opened and spilled...I think you have to sign a waiver against psychological damage and such...remember this is ALL NIGHT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE!

But if you're adventurous enough, you can explore and investigate for yourself this Saturday Oct. 3rd 2015! www.TheRealmOfDarkness.com

SEPTEMBER 28, 2015 MONDAY 7 PM - CALLING ALL JUGALOS!

We know many of you DIEHARD ICP FANS will be making the PILGRIMAGE TO CHICAGO NEXT SATURDAY, and we have a very special tip for you that is sure to MAXIMIZE THE CRAZINESS!

We mentioned this before...but for the newbie's out there:

THE FLYING FAYGO FUELED FRENZY DELUXE

Before leaving Detroit, grab some DIET FAYGO COLA in 2 liter plastic bottles AND some MENTOS brand breath mints. Get some non-diet FAYGO as well to drink, as you will NOT be drinking the diet soda...but it has special properties as you'll see in A FABULOUS WAY!

At the show, try to get up front so everybody can see this - open a 2 liter DIET FAYGO bottle, take one swig then carefully drop 2 MENTOS brand mints into the bottle.

The resulting chemical reaction turns the diet pop in the bottle into A SHOOTING FOUNTAIN OF FAYGO FOAM that is A SURE WINNER FOR THE ULTIMATE ICP FAYGO EXPERIENCE!

Wait a second...the ICP CONCERT is sandwiched between TWO ROB ZOMBIE CONCERTS...so it seems like Rob would be somewhere close by...and after all IT'S ZOMBIE'S HAUNT this is all happening at...

Hmmm...do you think it's possible there could be a surprise guest star at the ICP CONCERT?

Maybe they could get...oh, perhaps Hootie and the Blowfish.

Nah...Hootie might not be hip to ICP...hmmm... who else could they possibly get to be a surprise guest star for ICP AT ROB ZOMBIE'S HAUNT?

Shut my mouth, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye...

AUGUST 31, 2015 MONDAY 8 PM - A SAD DAY ON ELM STREET

WES CRAVEN has just passed on we're sad to report. He was the creator of some of the absolute best slasher movies, and that makes him family because…

Haunting and scary movies go hand-in-hand, and Wes' passion for creating some of the most engaging, gripping movies in that genre is legendary worldwide.

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT was his breakout debut film in 1972, and I remember it spawning all sorts of mini-urban legends in much the same way tall tales about haunted houses get passed around in autumn every year...

(putting on memory cap) "OMG, I just heard that Jimmy took Susie to see Last House On The Left and JIMMY freaked out and peed his pants (or barfed, pooped, whatever) and they got kicked out of the theater!"

So it's a SAD DAY ON ELM STREET...but that reminds me...let's flip this feeling around 180 now...just thinking back right now and reliving the experience in my brain...of going to a KILLER HAUNT with a Wes Craven inspired name that's a little off the beaten path of Detroit but is TOTALLY WORTH DRIVING TO...

It's A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ROAD in WEBBERVILLE, and we've become so attached to this haunt that TWICE we blew off our BIG CITY PLANS RIGHT ON HALLOWEEN to go there instead!

AUGUST 26, 2015 WEDNESDAY 1 AM - THE NEW DIMENSION IN HAUNT LIGHTING JUST WAITING TO BE TAPPED

As you may know, we're always very curious about how special lighting helps the haunt experience.

One of the most dramatic pro lighting effects ever (in any venue) is the so-called LIQUID SKY, where a laser shines through fog (or haze from a hazer) and creates a distinct 3-D image in mid air. The first time you see this, it's a GIANT WOW MOMENT!

Often a fan is used to draw air towards the laser, producing a spinning tunnel that looks like a COSMIC PORTAL DIRECTLY TO THE FOURTH DIMENSION!

For ages, RED LASERS were the only affordable choice for most venues.

But eventually, green lasers became affordable as with the American DJ MicroGalaxian which also has a red laser and can produce an impressive multi-colored liquid sky for only $99.

Then, it was the BLUE LASER that became cost prohibitive.

But we knew that couldn't last - in fact about a year ago we ran an article about a blue laser projector for home use we saw on an infomercial.

That was a consumer level product, but we imagined it still being able to produce an impressive BLUE LASER LIQUID SKY DISPLAY if the room size and ambient lighting was right.

That was then. This is now:

We just spotted a really cool looking red and green laser projector that also features a BLUE LED BACKWASH effect that's priced to move! www.lighting-geek.com/laser-lights/3d-laser/laser-star-projector 

So who will be the FIRST ONE ON THE BLOCK with a haunt that will TOTALLY BLOW OUR MINDS with the FIRST BLUE LASER LIQUID SKY?

JUNE 4, 2015 THURSDAY 7 PM - ROCK AIN'T DEAD, IT'S JUST IN REHAB

I just heard a band on ROCKSTATION (internet radio station from Switzerland) that sounds like they could be perfect for haunted house sound systems where you'd often hear ROB ZOMBIE and such...

It's the TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, with songs like "MONSTER IN ME" and "ROCK AIN'T DEAD" which you can see here with one of the "lyric videos" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIrNsHBSw1k 

SOMEBODY needs to give ROB ZOMBIE a run for his money! haha

Hmm...above link did not work when tested just now, but if you search YouTube for Texas Hippie Coalition it'll come right up.

FEBRUARY 20, 2015 FRIDAY 2 AM - HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

Get the moon dust out, because over 100 countries are celebrating the new lunar year right now, and in China the big national TV event drew OVER 600 MILLION VIEWERS according to CBC News in Canada!

That's more than a long list of award shows you're familiar with like The Oscars COMBINED! Take a look at some of the craziness: www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/10611661/Lunar- New-Year-celebrations-from-around-the-globe.html

SO, WHAT ABOUT THE HAUNT MARKET IN CHINA?

I'll bet they would GO TOTALLY BONKERS if only they could experience a World Class Haunt like for example, THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS.

OCTOBER 31, 2014 FRIDAY 2:30 PM - LET THE SNOW HOWL

Did you ever plan to do something fun with your friends...and then some sort of EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCE HITS...but you go anyway and have the time of your life?

Down the road, those are the stories remembered the most and talked about as well.

It's just human nature...the prim-and-proper everything was perfect just as planned events never get re-told and embellished later on.

HOOTIN' AND HOWLIN' IN THE BLUSTERY SNOW - THE GLASS IS WAY MORE THAN HALF FULL 

The weather for Halloween in Michigan and Ohio is horrible, with rain today and snow and howling winds later right during trick-or-treat time.

That's a good thing.

HUH?

At its' very core, Trick-or-Treating is far more about shared experiences than the sugar-fueled frenzy which fades quickly.

The shared experience of going out on Halloween despite the lousy weather will last far longer than the secret stash of Snickers bars...and then someday...it's like "Oh yeah? That's nothing...one time we actually went TRICK OR TREATING IN THE SNOW...there was gale force winds...nobody else went and we filled three pillow cases...except Freddie...he filled SIX pillow cases...they had to pump his stomach later..."

Thank you, Mother Nature.

Rest In Peace, Adam T. Ladd
June 19, 1974 - May 30, 2014