FOWLERVILLE

SLAUGHTER HOUSE

5781 West Grand River, Fowlerville, MI 48836

(517) 223-9140 or www.slaughterhouseadventure.com 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - ANOTHER DYNAMITE SHOW!

This haunt has never failed to WOW US with magical and wacky gags/setups.

One of our favorite gags has our hapless actor losing his head, literally! Being able to laugh at such a horrifying event is just part of the BIG FUN at SLAUGHTERHOUSE.

Satirical humor is an art form here. One example that was hysterical is a “conversation” with SIRI on a cellphone.

The giant barn that is used for the main haunt is in itself a historical masterpiece, with a massive slide exit from the top level.

This haunt has been known to make their own elaborate gags, for unique twists you won’t see anywhere else!

Sadly, their hayride and haunted maze were not yet open during our visit. See previous reviews for more about them.

GROSSE POINTE FARMS

HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS

19520 Mack Avenue, Grosse Pointe Farms, MI 48236

(313) 407-7979 or www.HauntedGarageProductions.org

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - FROM OUTER SPACE TO THE OLD WEST

This haunt will transport you to so many different realms and scenarios your head will spin! From a futuristic romp with aliens to the cowboy era, HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS has it all. 

Never before have we seen such an amazing collection of spooky props. It seems to be an obsession with them, but that’s a good thing. Most haunts have at least a few obsessions, but again that’s a good thing.

One especially amazing prop is by the top-notch haunt supplier DISTORTIONS UNLIMITED, and will knock your socks off! This masterpiece costs a small fortune, another indication of the extreme passion this haunt has for excellence and variety of props.

Family and tummy friendly, HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS satisfies like no other haunt we’ve ever seen. After a dizzying journey to never-never land and beyond, tasty treats await in the food tent. Cider and donuts are among the seasonal offerings, and the donuts are the freshest possible. They’re making them as fast as they can, with each batch gobbled up only minutes after creation.

HAUNTED GARAGE PRODUCTIONS has survived the pandemic and disastrous acts of nature, like a massive tree that a violent storm uprooted and slammed on their main building. With that kind of resilience and determination, the sky is the limit for this dynamic haunt!

HIGHLAND TWP.

FULL MOON MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE at BONADEO FARMS

1215 White Lake Road, Highland Charter Twp., MI 48356

(248) 780-9634 or https://www.fullmoonmanorhauntedhouse.com/

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - DYNAMIC YOUNG HAUNT ON THE MOVE

The setup has changed since our last visit here, with the walk through haunt leading directly to the new maze.

The indoor section has also be revamped to great effect.

One of our favorites here was in the maze, a strange aquatic aquarium display with mysterious sea creatures. It’s called THE ABYSS and it entranced us with stuff like FLOATING JELLY FISH.

Another new feature we really liked is a space age approach to the haunt queue line, with mirrors positioned to give an infinity illusion. We’ve never seen this before at a haunt.

Be sure to try the hot dogs here! They’re fabulous.

HOLLY

ROTTEN MANOR - ROTTEN HAYRIDE

13245 Dixie Highway, Holly Michigan 48442

(248) 930-2835 or www.RottenManor.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - AMAZING HAYRIDE EXPANSION!

There are 13 new scenes this year, all of them with sky high production values this haunt is well known for.

It’s family friendly, but still delivers a high-intensity experience with close-up actor interaction. One of our favorites was a DRUNK COWBOY, who swaggers about while clutching his beer bottle. His demeanor and motions are convincing, yet he somehow manages to not fall on unsuspecting patrons.

Production values and dynamics are key considerations at ROTTEN HAYRIDE. From sublime to bombastic, the constantly changing show mixes it up just right for a satisfying haunt experience.

ROTTEN HAYRIDE is a most welcome addition to the amazing variety of attractions at ROTTEN MANOR. The crew has many years of top-level experience at creating haunts throughout the state in Michigan, and it shows.

The crowds have been lining up to fill every one of multiple wagons, a clear sign that ROTTEN HAYRIDE has become a spectacular success by all measures!

HOWELL

SLAY NIGHTS

1800 North Burkhart Road, Howell, MI 48855

(517) 302-2136 or https://www.slaynights.com/

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - STRONG YOUNG HAUNT ON THE MOVE

It’s only their 2nd year, but you’d never know it if we didn’t tell you! The creators have many years of experience haunting.

A LASER TAG ARENA is being repurposed into a haunted attraction to great effect.

When you arrive, you’ll see an awesome giant custom poster on the building lit up with lights including a BLACK LIGHT STROBE. The poster appears to be printed on a special fabric and is quite impressive, no skimping here!

Excellent monster interaction, and a very famous and very bad man will hunt you down like a dog in his blood thirty quest for revenge. Not just once though. Persistence is a virtue, and you won’t believe how determined this deranged character is.

But hands down our favorite actor is the pint sized gal who is bent over backwards like an insect! WOWSER.

Getting lost has been designed into your journey here, with plenty of shocking surprises.

Also, we really like their unique take on a LIQUID SKY DISPLAY with an upward slant to a rectangular room. In case you don’t know, LIQUID SKY is the lighting term for the effect produced when laser beams are projected into a foggy room. This stunning effect is often used at major concerts, and the first time you see it is a GUARANTEED WOW!

This haunt has roots in the legendary ST. LUCIFER’S HAUNTED ASYLUM which ran at PLAYLAND in GRAND BLANC in the FLINT AREA. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPLSdxzrNzM

INKSTER

HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME

3880 Inkster Road, Inkster, MI 48141

(734) 833-7880 or www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614513583 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - GIMMEE THAT OLD TIME

MADISON HEIGHTS

AZRA CHAMBER OF HORRORS HAUNTED HOUSE

31401 John R, Madison Heights, MI 48071

(734) 718-0088 or www.AzraHaunt.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - AZRA SLAM DUNKS IT!

This young haunt continues to impress up with its’ extreme high energy and dazzling lighting, both inside and out.

The queue line has been turned into a dance club, with a rockin’ DJ with pro sound and lights. The crowd is pumped up from the moment they arrive, but the biggest adrenaline rush comes inside the haunt.

The opening scene features a talking head without a body, setting the stage for many crazy scenarios your journey will take you to.

High intensity monster interaction and primo scares are accentuated by disorienting sensory blasts. One unique thing we like is how some of the walking surfaces are metal grating, so you can see through them and catch people below you caught in the act of being freaked out. The cumulative energy is far greater than the sum parts, as evidenced by lots of screaming happy haunters.

One of our favorites here is the 3D clown room, with eye-popping fluorescent paint lit by powerful black lights.

The haunt is certainly the main draw here, but there’s lots more to do here too. Escape Rooms and Axe Throwing are available year-round. Have you ever been frustrated with something so badly you want to take it out on someone? This is the place for you!

AZRA CHAMBER OF HORRORS HAUNTED HOUSE continues its’ ascent into the world of HAUNTED ATTRACTION EXCELLENCE!   

ROMULUS

DERANGED HAUNT

35560 Goddard Road, Romulus, MI 48174

(734) 626-9006 or www.DerangedHaunt.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - 

TAYLOR

THE SCREAM MACHINE

23131 Ecorse Road, Taylor, MI 48180

(313) 666-FEAR or (734) 309-0756 or www.TheScreamMachine.net

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - MIGHTY MACHINE WITH POWERHOUSE NEW SHOW / ESCAPE ROOMS

The Doctor is in! That would be the resident physician Dr. Strach, who once again is conducting mad experiments on unsuspecting “patients.” The “nurse” has the worst bedside manner ever, which is to say SHE’S FABULOUS!

The setup is new again, but their fabulous HELLEVATOR sequence remains. We loved our companion who appears from out of nowhere, with her freakishly flexible RUBBER NECK.

An unhealthy obsession with ORGAN DONORS afflicts some questionable residents here. One of them wants to know how many livers you have, and is ready to perform surgery without a medical license. They have no shame, but what they’re lacking in shame is more than made up for with morbidly extreme enthusiasm! GREAT STUFF.

Another favorite of ours was a pint sized actor who is screaming with delight that she “KILLED THE CLOWN” in a silly sing-song fashion.

Excellent makeup, vocalizations, and sound effects throughout. Also, we loved the authentic old props that help set the mood like an old VICTROLA 78 RPM record player.

If you have arachnophobia, the AMAZING SPIDER ROOM will freak you out!

From the moment you arrive at THE SCREAM MACHINE, you’re transported into a haunted thrill zone with 2 optional ESCAPE ROOMS to boot.

This haunt is a powerful, bombastic assault that mixes it up big time. Whether it’s a doctor’s office or a child’s bedroom full of dollies, each room is expertly designed and decorated.

It’s easy to see why this haunt has outlasted every other haunt ever in Taylor. One year, there were SIX haunts in Taylor but the only one left standing is THE SCREAM MACHINE.

THE SCREAM MACHINE has been a Downriver favorite for many years, because they always deliver the goods!

WATERFORD

LOCHAVEN HAUNTED HOUSE

Lochaven Road, Waterford, MI

https://www.facebook.com/LochavenHauntedHalloweenHouse/

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - FAMILY HAUNT ON STEROIDS

Some of you have put up yard haunts at your homes. But very few reach the level of complexity and craziness as what you’ll find here.

There are two basic parts here. There’s a self-guided area in front, and a walk through haunt in the back.

We really liked them both, but they’re as different as night & day. The self-guided part is highly artistic. Some of our favorites were a giant clock whose “hands” are skeleton parts, and a giant animatronic monster that occasionally springs to life snorting fog.

There are photo opps so you can prove you survived.

This is a residential area, so the parallel parking can be a little tricky. But it’s worth a possible wait to get a spot.

WESTLAND

HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION

37550 Cherry Hill, Westland, MI 48185

(734) 502-6026 or www.HushDetroit.com or www.facebook.com/hushdetroit

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - THAT OLE’ VOODOO THAT YOU DO SO WELL

(The following appeared shortly after our visit. A more detailed review will be added later)

He locked eyes with us. We were transfixed.

The creator of HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION was standing right in front of us explaining the impossible and how he made it happen anyway ...this guy is some kind of MADMAN GENIUS to put all this together!

Everything our INSIDE INFORMANT told us checked out in spades.

He told his tale. We said ‘YA GOTTA BE CRAZY!!!, but he just snickered and said “That’s exactly why I do it.” And do it he does, check it out:

STRAIGHT FROM VEGAS & DOWN THE HATCH

The new drinks at the 3 SECRET BARS are exquisitely delicious, developed by Trained Professional’s. Don’t try this at home, kids! haha Just kidding, here’s the real deal: HUSH operator CB was in LAS VEGAS where he discovered some amazing ultra tasty drinks, and got the recipes coming up with some BIG WINNERS. We tried them all, and highly suggest you do too!

One of them actually CHANGES FLAVOR! You take a sip, then lick a special preparation on the rim of the glass and sip again. PRESTO CHANGO! We had no idea a MAGICALLY CHANGING BEVERAGE existed... and how comfy the bar has padded chairs, love seats and such too.

A CHANGE OF VENUE WITHOUT THE CHANGE OF VENUE

This is brilliant. Wait a second...make that THIS IS GENIUS.

Mixing up a haunt with various style pubs breaks up the journey in such a MAGICAL & DELICIOUS way!

Monster interaction and scares are spot on throughout.

The shared experience of sipping & sharing amazing beverages is so pleasant on comfy couches and chairs, then you’re off to conquer the next part of the journey...how fabulous!

We’ve never seen a haunt go so far to accommodate haunters.

Haunters have spent good money, been on their feet for awhile...I mean LIKE THREE THOUSAND people went through last night alone! The place is totally jammin’ but totally chill too with ultra tasty beverages while you relax in the lounge before GETTING CRAZY AGAIN.

One lounge had a primo full size CONGA DRUM, just begging me to play some PARADIDDLE DITTIES. I was glad to oblige, what fun! My partner recorded it.

So after you’re rested up, you continue the adventure. This is an AMAZING WONDERLAND that left us with an elated feeling. The ATTENTION TO DETAIL is off the hook!

My partner said she hasn’t felt this way after leaving a haunt since we went to the REALM OR DARKNESS in PONTIAC or HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE at MANSFIELD REFORMATORY in OHIO when HAUNTED X did the show years ago. (SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION movie was filmed there) http://www.zioptis.com/html/2015_b.shtml

HOLLYWOOD SLICK, DETROIT RAW

As always, the HUSH makeup and costumes were HOLLYWOOD GRADE and we got lots of fabulous pics to be released later. However, you can see previous pics now of HUSH and others here on this ZIOPTIS PHOTOSTREAM album: https://www.flickr.com/photos/45316911@N03/albums/72157650409830035 

So if you’re a weary traveler on a quest to partake in the TASTIEST DRINKS EVER at a WORLD CLASS HAUNT, set thy GPS UNIT to 37550 CHERRY HILL in WESTLAND.

Or if you’re a weary traveler on a quest to experience a WORLD CLASS HAUNT and you’re under 21 or don’t drink, still set thy GPS UNIT to 37550 CHERRY HILL in WESTLAND.

We had such a blast at HUSH that we went back in after going through to talk more with CB and thank him for his kind hospitality, and congratulate him on due diligence in starting small and eventually creating SUCH A MASTERPIECE that is HUSH HAUNTED ATTRACTION! www.hushdetroit.com

YPSILANTI

NIGHT TERRORS at WIARD'S ORCHARDS

5565 Merritt Road, Ypsilanti, MI 48197

(734) 390-9206 or www.HauntedHouseMichigan.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2022 - LONG TIME FAVE DELIVERS THE GOODS

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You can’t go home again.” But NIGHT TERRORS AT WIARD’S is proof that this is nonsense. Every time we visit this ICONIC HAUNT, we feel as though we’re going home again.

For as long as we can remember, the masses have flocked to this AMAZING OASIS of haunting and deliciousness beyond belief.

HAYRIDE OF THE LOST is an amazing journey back in time, with reenactments of a famous feud and a surprise stop in a barn that suddenly goes dark before BEDLAM BREAKS OUT.

Your reward for surviving all the madness is fresh cider & donuts, served at the end of the hayride. This ultra tasty treat doubles as a clever marketing tool. The exit of their ULTIMATE HAUNTED BARN leads into their Country Store, where it’s difficult to resist getting a gallon or 2 of cider to go with donuts too of course! ***SERVING SUGGESTION*** We like to also buy a jar of APPLE BUTTER to dip the donuts in.

The MIND SHAFT is a high intensity disorienting journey into a realistic feeling mine shaft, with lots of loud & fabulous scares. The final room is the LIQUID SKY DISPLAY, which has been completely revamped since our last visit. It now features BLUE LASERS which we’ve never seen before. They provide a more subtle & sublime atmosphere, and even better “cover” for the hiding monster.

THE ASYLUM is where the really crazy stuff happens! Monster interaction is OFF THE HOOK, with great sound & lighting to boot.

The entertainment is not confined to the hayride & haunts. The moment we got out of our car we heard a highly talented female singer blasting from the KARAOKE STAGE PA.

Near the entrance a super tall strolling actor wears a suit of LED lights, which flash and change colors to great effect. We were surprised to see this actor assisting a large group of people wanting to take a group picture. The actor took the picture from a “birds eye view” to get everyone clearly in the shot.

We had the pleasure of taking a “newbie” with us this visit, who had never been to Wiard’s before. He was totally floored!

Our only regret was not having enough time to go though ALIEN CAGED CLOWNS, shame on us! A thousand lashes with a wet noodle...it doesn’t hurt but it’s awfully annoying.