1318 Wildwood Avenue, Jackson, MI 49202

(517) 936-5834 or www.jxunderworld.com


The ambience here is off the hook because the building itself is steeped in history starting way back in 1919! (see their 2010 review)

The last time we remember a feeling like that was with the NAUTICAL NIGHTMARE (gone now) that was a haunted attraction made on an old BOB-LO ISLAND BOAT.

A new dramatic opening sequence with all kinds of cool lights and crazy sounds entertains you before entering the haunt. Wow, is that Alice Cooper?

This haunt will hit you SO many ways, assaulting all of your senses repeatedly. But you'll also be subjected to sensory deprivation. They try their best to scramble your emotions and feelings in a myriad of twisted ways. And it makes it a lot easier when the place FEELS old, LOOKS old, and even SMELLS old...because it IS old!

You'll twist and turn for eons, and eventually descend into the depths of despair that surely lurk in the basement here! It keeps going and going...does this lead to a dungeon?

This haunt will shake you up, chew you up, and then spit you out the underground back exit for a fitting end to your journey here. Be sure to check out the statues as you climb back up the path to reality as you previously knew it. Why are those gargoyles staring at me?



Mongoose Pro Monster Trucks

16241 Old U.S. 27, Lansing, MI 48906

(517) 487-0742 or www.michiganoffroad.net


This place has a real witch. We saw her with our own eyes. She didn't cast a spell on us, or change us into black cats. In fact, she gave us Kit-Kat brand chocolate bars. She must be a good witch. Not a bad witch. Or a sandwich.

This place has a real penguin. We saw it with our own eyes. It didn't complain that it can't fly. In fact, we saw it walking towards us holding hands with its new friend. He looked like he's about 3 or 4. It was SO cute!

Am I forgetting something? We're still kind of shook up after being here, pretty much dazed and confused...oh yeah...there's a HUMONGOUSLY GIANT MONSTER TRUCK we took a ride on...it's all sort of a blur...it's flashing by in snippets of terror and laughter...now it's starting to come back...

This is the same Moongoose you may have seen on TV or in Vegas! They've broken world records, and won more than their share of Monster Truck competitions.

And now they have a haunted house. Sorta. It's actually more like a whacked out thrill ride that will shake you up, spin you around, and zip you up and down faster than you can say "Jack Robinson."

They've fashioned part of their test track into a haunted spook zone, and there are monsters and props to authenticate the advertising claims of it being a haunted attraction. Sure, it IS indeed a haunted attraction. But not like any other we've seen...anywhere!

They've modified one of their trucks to include bench seats to accommodate haunters. The driver is a top pro who has trophies and titles galore, so you get a thrill ride that's both fun and safe.

We always wondered who would have the next roller coaster at a haunt after the demise of Hershey Haunted House in Dearborn years ago. They had a smallish coaster right in the haunt.

Wonder no more, this is it. Sorta. Ok, it's a truck...but they have a really steep hill as part of the course. You'll zip up and down many times, and yes it feels a lot like a roller coaster! But you can just feel the intense power....and the PRECISION with which the driver navigates his monster on wheels. He's going wild...and yet we can still feel deliberate holding back of the full potential of this crazy machine worth more than both of our houses combined!

When I was a kid, my dad would take us in the family station wagon to a church parking lot after a big snow and do some "donuts" also known as "whiz-arounds." The basic idea is you turn the wheel and then FLOOR IT. The rear wheels would race much faster than we were going, and cause the car to spin around and around.

Now that I have a front wheel drive vehicle, that won't work. Actually, you could do them still but you'd have to do it IN REVERSE GEAR. I haven't tried it yet. I probably never will, but now I can look forward to getting a heaping helping of "donuts" every year right here at the Haunted Monster Truck Ride!

Donuts, or whiz-arounds, are this place's bread and butter. They've got the mud puddles just right to ensure a perfect merry-go-round of madness that will wow you in this bizarre brain spinner.

And before you can stop getting dizzy, they'll shoot you up in the sky and zoom you back to the ground to scramble your senses but good!




1965 Farnsworth Road, Lapeer, MI 48446

(810) 664-5559 OR www.pasttenseafterdark.com


I'm going out on a limb BIG TIME here to say this:



This is a young haunt only in its third year. It's nothing at all like Blake's. Not right now. But the two places intrinsically are pretty much the same when you think about it. They're both giant cider mills on farms. They both have country stores. They both have drive and determination. But most importantly, they both have the love of haunting as an entertainment form for local kids of all ages to enjoy!

The potential is there for sure. Only time will tell though, but remember what I said 5 years from now when you follow search lights and traffic jams to this place. Am I a dreamer? Yes. But big dreamers make big things happen. You can't do something amazing by not believing you can do it!

This is a double attraction haunt with a walk thru and hayride. The walk thru starts with a slam dunk with a Hellevator ride leading directly to an excellent black hole. The walking surface is grated metal, so you can see the bottom surface too. This increases the artificial motion sensation your brain/eye interaction causes, along with mirrors on both ends. If you ever get too dizzy while in a black hole, simply close your eyes and the motion sensation will instantly disappear!

Later an incredible surprise is pulled off with only one LED flashlight! An invisible actor appears so suddenly and so brightly only inches away that even we were genuinely startled. We actually saw a seminar on this kind of gag at the HauntCon in Dearborn a few years ago. Sometimes less is more!

Also features a unique refrigerator surprise we did not see coming, a longish birthing chamber, an old organ, and we really liked the creepy girl that hisses in her demented bedroom with teddy bears strewn about.

The hayride features seating rows on both sides as well as a large seating area in the middle made from hay bales. But they only let so many people on each ride...the middle area remains mostly empty. And for good reason as we soon find out!

The giant tractor pulls us thru a mud pie lover's paradise with ease, but it seems we're blazing new trails because the path is so narrow and the cornfield is so thick and dense. And we were specifically warned not to touch any of the corn!

Then something is heard bumping the cart, and moments later a cast of goons and weirdos storms the cart. They quickly turn the middle section into a dance floor and staging area for selected attacks on vulnerable looking girls. Great stuff!

One of our favorite weirdos needs a haircut badly. Her long scraggly black hair looks like it could have a rats nest festering in it. She doesn't care.

A giant dark field seems to be chock full of pumpkins or squashes. Then we arrive at a slaughter house scene with ghastly implications that soon stare us directly in the face!

No loud PA on the cart. No multiple sound systems throughout the forest. No giant staged gags.

But that's just fine here actually. It's SO quiet...and SO dark...miles away from any big city lights to spoil the crisp, clear autumn Michigan sky blazing with millions of stars smiling on you!

We tried to go to this haunt last year, and missed them by 10 minutes due to a traffic jam. So this was our first time actually checking out the haunt, but certainly not our last!

This facility also boasts an awesome little restaurant with an extensive menu. There's ELEVEN different salads, sandwiches and pita wraps of all kinds, hot entrees, burgers, gourmet Michigan fruit pies, ice cream delights, gourmet pizza AND...of course ULTRA FRESH APPLE CIDER AND DONUTS. Come here hungry!



61288 Gratiot at 28 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 749-6666 or www.scarefestscreampark.com


This place is amazing! It's a haunted attraction paradise, but it's also like a carnival, night club, and live concert all rolled up into one convenient bundle of fun.

The HAYRIDE OF DOOM has a new story and new narrator, but the awesome comfortable carts remain. They're sort of like a double-decker design, and no feet are left sad and squashed under legs!

The trees seem a million miles tall, and the air is so crisp and clear the stars blaze brighter than you'll ever see in the big city.

Throughout the ride, the narrator tells a shocking story that starts with a massacre that happened right here in 1842, leaving only two members of a family still alive. Their names were Jack and Bruce. Hmmm...is that a clandestine nod to the famous bass player from Cream named Jack Bruce?

Soon enough we have new friends to contend with. One of them is the Mad Hatter who seems fitting of his title. And the creepy dolly creature with her white makeup is neglecting her kids in the strobe lit bassinette, seriously bucking for the Worst Mother of the Year Award.

After dealing with a horrible bat infestation, we find ourselves entering the Muttenville Detention Center where they encourage capital punishment. Of course, you get to help condemn the guilty prisoner. Hey, he got arrested so he must have been doing something wrong, right?

After a full two seconds of deliberation, a quick thumbs up or down vote confirms the entire hayride has concluded he is guilty and must be punished by death. And then laughed at. A bunch of sick puppies these haunters are! But that's a good thing, thank you Martha.

Later at the Muttenville Slaughterhouse, I fell in love with the butcher. No, I'm not gay. The butcher was a chick. She was bizarre. And she was beautiful, in that "I'm going to slice things up and make them bleed" sort of way. Foxy lady!

Other favorite characters were the tall pumpkin creature dude with his glowing head, and the lousy organ player who looks like a hippie chick. Great stuff! 

The only problem with Scarefest is there's just SO MUCH to do, how can you possibly absorb it all? We elected to do the hayride, but wished we also had enough time for CASTLE OF THE DEAD, FOREST OF DARKNESS & 3D HOUSE, and TERROR ZONE MAZE & YAPPO'S FUN HOUSE.

We have seen CASTLE and the FOREST in past years, and both were excellent. And the CASTLE has an amazing history itself, but that's another story for another day.

After all the craziness, you can kick back and have a drink in the beer tent. There's other tasty treats too, like the "Hot Apple Pie" drink that debuted last year to great acclaim.



28405 26 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 203-7222 or www.hauntedfarmofterror.com


Actually, make that take a WALK on the wild side too. The walk thru haunt here is killer too!

One thing that immediately caught our attention in the walk thru was some weird music that sounded like a Theramin. Theramin was the first electronic musical instrument, played by varying hand movements around its metal rods.

You'll make some dubious new friends here, and see things happen that shouldn't! The presentation is flawless, precisely designed by experienced masters of the art.

And we really liked the super old organ, but one of the coolest sounds produced here came from a live actor who is not human. Not kidding.

All sorts of weirdos will try to get you to believe some twisted, mixed up stuff here. Don't fall for it. But you probably will, because these actors seem to have been trained in many methods of psychological persuasion you will be powerless to resist. Or maybe you can. But either way, you'll have a blast in this crazy house!

The hayride here is super intense with great interaction and scares for sure, but you'll also see some amazing large scale eye candy. One favorite was just before the end, and is best when there's no wind so the fog can accumulate. The cart stops so you can "watch a movie at the drive-in." They have a large movie screen, showing a horror flick.

But we also noticed HUNDREDS of light beams emanating from the trees. It's stunningly beautiful! Wow, how did they do that? Here's how: On the other side of the trees is the parking lot which is illuminated by a large street light, probably a sodium vapor lamp. It's so bright that it shines thru the spaces between the tree branches, and produces a giant moonflower type projector of sorts. It's outer space, right here in Lenox Township!

In fact, Outer Space is the theme this year. The host of the ride tells a story throughout the journey of an alien invasion that occurred on this very site way back in 1867.

He has a special LED flashlight he uses to produce a mini light show, and he cues the music for the various scenes too for flawless synchronization. Near disasters and close up high intensity monster action come fast and furious at a breakneck pace.

We really liked the spiked hair dude that suddenly appeared when his style of music came on. Of course, he quickly found the most vulnerable girl available and went to work. We would expect no less, and we were not disappointed. But he also got the crowd so charged up, everybody started boppin' with the tunes and the WHOLE CART WAS SHAKING!

Later a witch burning is held, super giants spiders attack, and we really liked the super foggy barn with giant weird creatures popping out from all over. Mood music by Rob Zombie completes the setting, and a giant reptile attack precedes a massive invasion of goons right on the cart! Chainsaws pressed against the cart inches away from you shake things up even more, and the screaming girls often drown out the monsters themselves!

Then the host turns the tables on you, insisting you actually cheer for the mad scientist who wants to perform hideous experiments...on YOU.

A cemetery scene accentuates the beautiful forest this haunt enjoys. And the industrial power fog machines ensure the zombies have a dramatic entrance as they appear to emerge from dreamland while "Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson is playing to reinforce the idea.

Another favorite scene of ours features multiple real horses, including one that's WHITE. And we really liked the circus-like announcement that leads to an attack of polka dot clowns with great makeup.

Ever heard the phrase "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned?" This haunt gives you a firsthand insight into this when we're introduced to a bride-to-be that's still waiting for her overdue groom. Her bridal gown is absolutely gorgeous, but then "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson starts playing and she freaks out. She charges onto the cart, flailing about and screaming hysterically. But even her voice is no match for a slew of chainsaws inches away, and she fades away into the darkness...

Finally, the cart stops for your "drive in movie" that we gushed about earlier.


There's lots of other cool stuff to do here too, and the food has become known as some of the best available at any haunt in their "Road Kill Cafe." Also you can shoot live zombies with paintball guns, or relax around the bonfire watching movies on the big screen.


Have you ever turned on the radio, and instantly been transported down memory lane as a certain song reminds you of a certain person, time, or event? That's what I call a "musical bookmark" of your life.

But can a certain TASTE also be a life bookmark? After what happened here last night, I say YES. Ok, we rolled into town in our magic bus as usual. The haunt operator was starting to show us around as usual, but I had to stop him.

"DUDE! I absolutely MUST have a big gulp of that incredible apple cider you guys have!" We made our way over to the "Road Kill Cafe" and I got my fix. "AHHHH, now what were you saying Mr. Haunt Operator?"

World class food and drink has become a part of the Michigan Haunt Experience. Haunters get hungry and since our bodies are primarily liquid, thirst is inevitable too.

This haunt has an arrangement with a local apple orchard, and brings in fresh cider every day that has NOT been pasteurized. It's gonna disappear so fast, it's unnecessary and would only adulterate the taste. You CAN taste the difference, and once you do you won't be able to forget it.

Put all these experiences together, mix well and you can see why this haunt packs 'em in big time!



at Lucas County Fairgrounds, 1406 Key Street, Maumee, OH



When your haunt is REALLY KILLER, word gets out. In the end, word-of-mouth is THE most powerful form of advertising. And when that happens, your parking lot fills up. Quick.

It takes a LOT of planning and work. And at Terrortown, they'll start work on NEXT year's show in a few months! That's commitment. That's drive. And that's why this haunt should be on your haunt destination list, if you haven't already been here.


How do they do it? This haunt is never the same! This time there's yet another expansion AND a brand new 3D display by industry leader Stu Smith.

BIG TOP TERROR brings a new dimension to a familiar theme in haunts - KRAZY KLOWNS. You'll see eye popping exquisite 3D everywhere, INCLUDING the floors! Are you afraid of clowns? Entrancement could easily override any such silly phobias here, for a moment anyway. But after that, it's an all-bets-off-free-for-all with you know who in charge of your sorry fate.

Where's Bozo when we need him? Now THERE was a clean cut, decent clown...never made a girl pee her pants in his life...the kind THESE clowns chew up and spit out like tobacco juice from a professional baseball player, whose mouth is shown on camera full frame on worldwide TV.

Gross. You'll see. If you don't chicken out, that is.

Chicken out. Don't risk it. They are not responsible for permanent psychological stains that won't go away.

This haunt has some deep roots. The owner's uncle ran the JAYCEES IN TIFFIN, OHIO years ago. Who remembers THE NIGHTMARE WITHIN?

The main haunt here is an amazing journey, with tons of great actors and animatronics galore. Some of our favorites were a massive muscle man and a giant hand that WILL get you!

Also features the LONGEST BLACK HOLE to our knowledge! Actually, it's SIX of them placed end to end. They're all in perfect synchronization, and give the most dazzling experience ever in one of these optical illusion beauties!

The Black Hole effect (sometimes called a vortex) is supposed to give a feeling like you're in outer space spinning towards infinity. With a standard length of 20 feet, one black hole has a hard time accomplishing this task. But SIX of them all lined up perfectly? YES. That's IT.

But don't get 'yer panties in a bunch if you're afraid you'll lose it and get so dizzy you'll fall down. Since it's a visually based illusion, if you CLOSE YOUR EYES the motion sensation will instantly disappear!

The outdoors graveyard has been revamped and expanded as well, preparing you for the last leg of your journey into never-never land!

Are you afraid of snakes? We saw a Boa Constrictor ready to hug his new friends who stay too long. Better move along, he has the HUG THAT KILLS.

The animatronics are totally off the hook here! And you won't see anything like them anywhere else either. They didn't come from the Scare Factory. They didn't come from any store. The dude here MADE THEM HIMSELF.




20900 Dequindre Road, Warren, MI

(248) 376-3459 or www.thedeadland.com


This haunt is completely new, because a whole new crew put the show together this year! And next year, they'll assume full ownership and take full control to complete the transition here.

A whole new feel awaits you now, and there are some intricate details you'll want to savor. And they mix it up big time, ranging from the most subtle possible minimalist lighting to blazing attacks from zooming things assaulting your senses when you least expect it. YES!

We could hear some strange wailing animals ahead...whoa...now they sound human...WHAT is the deal? Did some hapless patrons get trapped in this madhouse?

One highly psychotic character insisted I was a bird. Never mind why, or what he intended to do when I complied...I'm just too ashamed...I can't talk about it now.



37 Turk Street, Pontiac, MI 48341

(248) 338-0029 or www.therealmofdarkness.com


The actors here seem to be truly living their parts, like they're not pretending at all. Excellent enunciation, unusual dialects and accents drive home the authentic old feel that quickly overwhelms you here.

Your first host will assess your condition, and eventually proclaims "Let's see what fate has in store for you!" From there you're on your own defending from all sorts of scary stuff, both living and dead.


But confusion reigns too here; one really big thing that should be dead turns out to be alive after all. Help, Mr. Wizard! And one living thing that's carrying an umbrella...well, you'll see.

Amazing attention to detail! And there's SO much here that's GENUINELY OLD, giving an ambience like no other. One of our favorites is the old pipe organ, which we envisioned being plucked out of a church just before the wrecking ball eventually sealed its fate.

Actually, there are TWO organ rooms in this haunt! The pipe organ in the first scene was our favorite, and the organ music was just the right shade of spooky.

This whole place is so full of amazing genuine relics from history, sometimes it seems like you're in a museum. It even SMELLS old, because guess what? It IS old. But it's in perfect condition, and it's only inches away from eager eyes. And thanks to precision lighting designs, every detail and nuance is absorbed JUST right. The fog is never overdone either, so you get that woodsy feel without sacrificing catching all the gags properly.

Also features an impressive giant animatronics monster who does NOT sound friendly! There's weird noises coming from all over this crazy place. We really liked the mausoleum, the swamp creature, and the guy who has his own PA system insisting we join in with vocal antics of his choosing.


Also features an amazingly realistic cave sequence...but beware because you know WHAT likes to hide out in dark caves, right? No, not bats silly...I'm talkin' about SNAKES. Slither up high and spit poison venom at you SNAKES! Coiled up then wrapped around you suffocating you Boa Constrictor SNAKES. Do you know how many different dangerous SNAKES there are?

Just teasing, you WON'T find any SNAKES immediately in the cave. But as for later in your journey, you're on your own and we make no promises. And we hope you're not allergic, because they ran out of antidote long ago. Don't worry though...it's OK...the bodies have been removed. Like we said, attention to detail runs rampant here!

Excellent sound and lights throughout, cool makeup, blind pathways, and quality actors in all rooms. How could you ask for more? THIS HAUNT NAILS IT.

This place just screams of eras gone by, but not forgotten by spirits and ghoulish creatures of all sorts, sizes, and species. They'll try to thwart your efforts to meet the wizard, because if you succeed and can defeat him you will get DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK. NO KIDDING. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL, FRIENDS!

URBAN LEGEND DEBUNKED - Those stories going around about the crazy haunt that costs $100 to get in are just that - STORIES. Urban legends. Fake. In some versions, you get $10 back for each room you can make it thru...they're all so ghastly horrible. But ask anybody if they have personally been there or where exactly it is...they NEVER can tell you.

So if you ever hear somebody telling these tall tales, you can look them in the eye and tell them with 100% confidence that YOU know the haunt where people can actually get DOUBLE their money back. And that should be enough for them to spring for a pizza too...double anchovies please.



37 Turk Street, Pontiac, MI 48341

(248) 338-0405 or www.sinisterhauntedhouse.com


Have you ever had a monster/weirdo working a haunt try to convince you to do something crazy? Maybe even something really stupid? Have you ever actually done these things? Or put another way, how gullible are you?

These questions and many more will pose themselves in dramatic fashion here. It's a pop-quiz and a half, and everything you know is wrong.

Many haunts use recordings of strange sounds, animals, storms, and so on to accentuate their show. This haunt has no need for those. YES, you WILL hear lots of strange things and be subjected to a multitude of ideas and scenarios that are just plain wrong.

But the creatures that produce these sounds and twisted diatribes don't see it that way. Thing is, when you're crazy you don't know it. And that makes it all the easier for them to convince you they're right. One of our favorites was a weirdo girl with a very creepy laugh and demeanor. It seems her mommy never taught her to speak though, because we never heard any distinguishable words.

We were invited to sit down to watch a movie in the theater, but all we saw was the ending credits of "Trick Or Treat." And all the while, we heard strange arguments nearby from weirdos who love to air their dirty laundry in public.

This haunt also features some high intensity tactile sensation stuff, one of which will test your gullibility. We failed the test horribly! We're suckers for that kind of stuff though.

You'll be asked to play a game you can't win, and we really liked the old test tubes and an old organ made way back in 1875 in Detroit!



18 South Perry corner of Water Street & South Perry

(248) 332-7884 or www.hauntedpontiac.com

Our apologies to EREBUS...we were running late and couldn't make it here soon enough to pay a proper visit.

Hey, this place is in a massive FOUR STORY WAREHOUSE! It always takes awhile to make the journey, and that's IF they don't mess up the space-time continuum with those crazy time travel experiments they're always tinkering with.

I don't know, Davey. If they happen to push the wrong magic button or spin the wrong secret dial, you may end up vanishing into Never-Never Land! Better not risk it.



2600 Club Drive, Rochester Hills, MI 48307

(248) 852-3250 or www.dementiaathampton.com


Every haunt dreams of someday being the center of big attention. They envision search lights drawing thousands upon thousands, swarming to a massive facility that blows everybody minds and goes thru hundreds of gallons of fresh Michigan cider and a few thousand donuts per night.

Concessions alone can generate enough money to supercharge Junior's college fund.

Sometimes that dream is only an imaginary vision, and sometimes that dream is staring you in the face.

At this haunt, it's staring them right in the face. An incredibly massive barn is right next to the building this haunt has been authorized to use. It's big enough that you could develop parts of it every year, reconfiguring it as you went along. It would seem like a whole new haunt every year!

Last year the creators of this haunt told us of their dream to super size this place with their Barn From Beyond. Some amazing, over the top possibilities were suggesting themselves as they gushed about how grand it could be.

Delusions of grandeur? We think not.

Of course, we're disappointed that the powers that be haven't yet aligned themselves to set all this in motion.

But it's still a cool haunt! And as a Chinese smart guy once said: "The journey of a lifetime starts with a single step."

A killer sound track can make or break a haunt. The FEELING created by the soundtrack can easily surpass the visual impact of most things you'll see in haunted attractions.

Now consider this: The early years of haunted attractions were about the same time electronic music was getting started. For an amazing example of our favorite of the era, check out Tod Dockstader. Try "Luna Park" and "Water Music" and you'll see what we mean.

Some of the soundtrack we heard here was reminiscent of Tod Dockstader, but was accented perfectly with a great mix of thumping things and high intensity assaults from every which way!

But it changes gears really fast too...suddenly it's quiet...shhhh...what's happening...where are we...AHHHH!!!

We absolutely LOVED the wacky circus music in the clown room - but WHY are so many people afraid of clowns? You just might get a lesson here you won't forget anytime soon. I don't know if I'd risk it...

Word must be getting out about this young haunt. Just as we were leaving another giant swarm of people was arriving, anxious for that wild feeling only haunting can provide!


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