Web Design
2016_A

BURTON - (FLINT area)

THE CRYPT

G-4247 South Dort Highway, Burton, MI 48529

(810) 742-2260 or www.TheCryptHauntedHouse.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - ZERO TO SIXTY IN HALF A SECOND!

The very moment you arrive, the spooky atmosphere hits you with a great sound system spouting fabulous sound effects and music. And there are assorted weirdos lurking in the shadows. Don't look for them...they'll make themselves and their most certainly evil intentions known at their own convenience...hey, it's a haunted house...you never know what to expect at these crazy places...

CRYPT-KICKIN' THE NIGHT BIG TIME

And at the very moment you enter the haunt, your world is transformed into a mystical myriad of scenes and surprises of all shapes, sizes, and demeanors. Fabulous sound and lighting throughout.

The actors were spot on, hitting cues perfectly for tons of AWESOME GOTCHA! MOMENTS.

Themes set with special music are something we really appreciate. One of our favorites here was when we heard the theme song of ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS.

THE CRYPT NAILS THE COFFIN SHUT & LEAVES 'EM SCREAMING FOR MORE!

FLINT

CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE

4403 Clio Road, Flint, MI 48504

(810) 620-5167 or www.ScareClio.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - BIG SPLASH FROM YOUNG HAUNT ON THE MOVE

FOWLERVILLE

SLAUGHTER HOUSE

5781 West Grand River, Fowlerville, MI 48836

(517) 223-9140 or www.slaughterhouseadventure.com 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - PRESIDENTIAL ASPIRATIONS IN YOUR FACE!

Somebody had to do it. Pitting the presidential candidates against each other is a timely opportunity that SLAUGHTER HOUSE grabs to create over-the-top spectacles as only they can.

This haunt has origins in both magic and comedy, and the illusions and jokes are all superb.

Their guillotine presentation goes to whole new level we've never seen at any other haunt.

And there's a special tribute to the recent movie SUICIDE SQUAD featuring Harley Quinn that we totally loved!

The hayride has been re-vamped again, and features some big scale scares as well as fabulous illusions this haunt is famous for. There's a transformation that's to die for, and very timely with the presidential election just around the corner. SMART!

FREMONT, OHIO

HAUNTED HYDRO DARK ATTRACTION PARK

1333 Tiffin Street, Fremont, OH 43420

(419) 307-6985 or www.TheHauntedHydro.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - BIGGER THAN LIFE HAUNT WOWS THE SENSES

GRAND BLANC

SAINT LUCIFER'S HAUNTED SCREAMPARK

5290 South Dort Highway, Grand Blanc, MI 48507 (at Playland)

(810) 695-8200 or www.MichiganHauntedHouse.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - NOT INSANE...PERHAPS

The receptionist nurse here is as nice as you can imagine, and kinda cute too. Her voice is pleasant, but her words of warning are anything BUT.

She informs you this is A FULLY OPERATING HOSPITAL, but don't trust anything anyone tells you here...especially the doctors who seem to have obtained fake medical licenses allowing them free rein with your body and soul.

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

You probably shouldn't go here...but you will anyways...word-of-mouth is the best advertising for this place. Oh yeah, the pizza is killer too!

GRAND BLANC

13 FEET UNDER

5290 South Dort Highway, Grand Blanc, MI 48507

(810) 695-8200

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - MILITARY BOOT CAMP FOR SISSIES...NOT!

HOLLY

ROTTEN MANOR

13245 Dixie Highway, Holly Michigan 48442

(248) 894-6558 or www.RottenManor.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - IT'S ALIVE!

There's a very imposing presence here. The haunt appears as a giant mansion...think the Addams Family and Munsters on steroids!

A TWISTED MANSION LIKE NO OTHER

The amazing building fažade of Rotten Manor brings haunt designing to new dimensions, and the whole thing appears to be breathing! That's great for starters, but it only gets better from there.

The walk-through haunt and the forest are both massive and will take at least a half hour each. And near the concessions stand, there's a really cool photo opportunity featuring a casket with a picture of the Last Supper mounted inside!

The carpeting and decorations are most eloquent, and there's all sorts of twists and turns and some really wild tunnels unlike any you've ever encountered!

One aspect of this haunt we really liked was the wacky transitions between sections / rooms. Our favorite involves something you might find in a bathroom that you are invited to step into.

The haunted forest is a work of art unto itself, and also reveals a major surprise. After walking through the forest for awhile, you find yourself outside next to a fence. On the other side of this fence is a very large building not visible before.

At first glance it appears to be the rear of the building you see upon arrival. But wait... the size and shape are different... and there's some stone lettering at the top of the building.

UH OH! They're probably hoping people won't notice, but in big letters it clearly says ROTTEN MANOR ASYLUM.

So this is a building dedicated to crazy people, like you and me who seem to be under the impression that we're actually going to a haunted house to be entertained!

Could it be that this whole "HAUNTED ATTRACTION" thing is just a ruse to get you to come in, so they can invoke their indoctrination procedures on unsuspecting members of the public?

There's a doctor on premise, but clearly he's insane! And the nurses pretend to have your best interests at heart, but really they just need new clients. Their bloody uniforms are no need for concern, or so they say in their dainty dissertations on death and destruction. Awww...how sweet!

Amazing tunnels, many with liquid sky displays

Great mannerisms, voicing, makeup...THIS HAUNT HAS IT ALL IN SPADES!

INKSTER

HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME

3880 Inkster Road, Inkster, MI 48141

(734) 922-5542 or www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614513583 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - LITTLE HAUNT DELIVERS BIG THRILLS

Don't let its size fool you, this haunt is small but mighty. It's "The Little Engine That Could" on steroids!  In fact, this building used to be a funeral home and that's a pretty great place to start.

It's a really smart set up, as the building is used year-round for other purposes as well.

But come autumn, the front section of the parlor is decked out with ghouls and spooky stuff. It's all clearly visible, thanks to large windows enclosing the madness.

And the side of the building facing the sidestreet has windows with ominous silhouettes. But that only entices haunters and passerbys, who end up fallling victim to the many spirits and monsters who can not die and would rather terrorize you instead.

The mood is set the moment you enter with spooky music and ghouls galore, and the action is nearly non-stop.

BACK TO BASICS

Old School rules here to great effect. This is how haunted houses started, and what made them so popular to begin with. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Great music throughout and high intensity monster interactions, with one notable exception that we instantly fell in love with big time! It's the wacky parlor organ player, with her wonderful silliness and sparkly, silver evening gown. She looks like she's ready to perform a recital at Carnegie Hall, but looks can be deceiving. FABULOUS!

The buildup to the grand finale is handled perfectly, and the result sends even the toughest customers into a tizzy every time we'ver been here!

And we really lucked out with the timing of our arrival here, because we got to go with a group of teenage girls who were apprehensive to say the least! Special thanks to the haunt operator for recognizing and quickly taking the opportunity that presented itself.

It was especially enlightening for us to see first hand reactions from real customers who had no idea who we are. These girls were shakin' in their boots big time, and their wild shrieking often drown out the music and monster sounds!

NOTHIN' FANCY, STRICTLY FAMILY

We actually went to HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME twice this season.With a special guest in town from New York, this was a haunt we chose for him to visit because we knew the energy would be off-the-hook!

JACKSON

JACKSON'S UNDERWORLD

1318 Wildwood Avenue, Jackson, MI 49202

(517) 936-5834 or www.jxunderworld.com 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - review written, needs to be retrieved after crash recovery - We ran the website uploading for 16 years on the same computer until it died!

LENOX TOWNSHIP

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR

28405 26 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 203-7222 or www.HauntedFarmOfTerror.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR CRANKS IT TO ELEVEN!

Wow, this haunt will blow your mind...and then you can unwind with a movie and some super tasty vittles.

The walk through haunt has never let us down, and features two really cool "gas chambers" that you must enter. Disorientation has never been so wonderfully wacky!

The hayride is unlike any other! It can be totally rockin' but then turn on a dime, as mayhem strikes and all bets are off.

This hayride is hands down the most intense we can find!  The acting is excellent, and that's an absolute must. But the incredible, giant creatures, monsters, and props set this over the edge.

The most effective creature will come by surprise, from a spot you can't see...at first. FABULOUS!

The hayride hosts are energetic and whacked out big time! They dance and prance their way through the crowd, wielding special flashlights to assist the show effectively at just the right times and places.

This is a very well rehearsed, precision show which means every cart is assured of seeing a killer show! The music and sound effects are cued by the performers themselves to split second precision...SMART.

LENOX TOWNSHIP

SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK

61288 Gratiot at 28 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 749-6666 or www.ScarefestScreamPark.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2016 - SCAREFEST SLAM-DUNKS IT AGAIN!

This haunt continues to pack 'em in big time every weekend with a strong showing from multiple attractions, but there's an even bigger story developing...

An event that's proving to be wildly popular here is their OVERNIGHT CAMP OUTS, which sold out in record time this year.

The event takes place exclusively on the grounds of the property, which makes planning, security and such a "piece of cake." Everybody gets to do everything a haunt patron would, but there's much more too just for the campers. A SMART SETUP!

The hayride has an all-new story line again, and the host is superb! Excellent voicing and mannerisms are accentuated with a sharp wit, spinning tales and custom barbs and teasing on-the-fly. GREAT STUFF!

CASTLE OF THE DEAD is the indoor walk through haunt. There's quite a history to this haunt, but that's of little concern as it still delivers the goods!

 

[Home] [Rating system] [Reviews] [2006] [2007] [2008] [2009] [2010_A] [2010_B] [2011_A] [2011_B] [2011_C] [2012_A] [2012_B] [2012_C] [2013_A] [2013_B] [2013_C] [2013_D] [2014_A] [2014_B] [2014_C] [2015_A] [2015_B] [2015_C] [2016_A] [2016_B] [2017_A] [2017_B] [2018_A] [2018_B] [What's next] [News] [Archives] [Awards] [not in FF/HG] [Wayne Cty] [Macomb Cty] [Oakland Cty] [Other MICH] [Ohio] [USA] [Canada] [Closed] [Contact] [Untitled]