BAY CITY

THE EDSON INCIDENT

1680 Martin Street, Bay City, MI 48706

(989) 402-5071 or www.EdsonIncident.com 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - ALL HANDS ON DECK IN AWESOME AQUATIC ASSAULT

The very moment you arrive, the spooky atmosphere hits you like the crisp, salty smell of the ocean...except there’s no odor because the Great Lakes are unsalted (and shark free)!

The Vietnam-era battle ship provides an incredible range of possibilities. It’s 418 feet long!

A strong military theme hits you from the get go with great urgency. There’s a mission to be accomplished, and it’s up to you to sink or swim! haha

They take full advantage of the built in scenery, and the sound is fabulous! We especially loved the highly authentic sounding military PA messages and the unique spider noises in the blacklight cobweb room.

Old-to-new juxtaposition runs rampant here. Early in the journey you see crew lockers left from ages ago, then moments later you’re immersed in a PRIMO  LIQUID SKY ROOM to die for!

They have 4 flat beam green lasers - 2 in front and 2 in back in a horizontal plane. Try dragging your fingers through the beam surface; you can literally see the air currents being generated!

There’s tons more we’ll leave for you to discover yourself...

It took us about 20 minutes to go through, yet it left us wanting more! We predict a BIG FUTURE for this vintage vessel at THE EDSON INCIDENT.

BRIDGEPORT

GOREGROUNDS / HAUNTED ELEMENTARY

4221 Bearcat Boulevard, Bridgeport, MI 48722

www.BridgeportGoreGrounds.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER (OR UNTIL THE ZOMBIE’S AND COWS COME HOME)

The moment you arrive, they take you to another place...a spooky habitat...

Ominous thundering sounds with matching flickering lights set the mood in the queue line here to great effect.

The wait in line gets better as a snarling creature creeps up with amazing guttural vocals, cranking the anticipation of what’s inside. She has blonde hair and wears overalls, you can’t miss her!

Upon entering the haunt, we were told when we found a door to knock 3 times. A crazy guy answers the door, and riffs on whatever you say. Improv skills are a big plus here, and later in scenes like the MEAT MARKET and GRANDMA’S HOUSE.

Excellent environmental atmosphere during the SWAMP WALK with a musty smell and forest noise, and we really liked the awesome DOLL ROOM and the HAPPY HOLLOW PLAYGROUND with its merry-go-round and teeter totter and special would-be playmates.

Later we put on 3D GLASSES, and delighted as circus music with a modern edge played to set a new mood with bright blacklight stuff including great use of polka dots and impressive Egyptian creatures to boot...

A CHAIN SAW ATTACK helps seal the deal at the end, giving a whole new meaning to BACK TO SCHOOL!

This was our first visit here, and we look forward to going again.

FLINT

CLIO MANOR HAUNTED HOUSE

4403 Clio Road, Flint, MI 48504

(810) 620-5167 or www.ScareClio.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - BIG FUN AT YOUNG HAUNT ON THE RISE

The show starts in the queue line, with an amazing living prop carried by one of the weirdo’s here. It’s a giant BALL PYTHON SNAKE...but it just keeps getting better and better!

The entrance both beckons and warns you, as you watch video depiction’s of spooky stuff above the door...

Excellent acting and makeup throughout!

We really liked the bedroom scene with CANDY who wants to play with you. Unfortunately, she delights in slashing her toys, and you could be next if you upset her delicate balance as she teeters between reality and insanity.

Customized taunting from ahead shows the monsters care...about personally getting your goat! Effective use of slow strobes, air blasts, and an awesome speckled black light paint room that had a great GOTCHA MOMENT.

Lots of PRIMO HANDS ON  AX ACTION from male and female monsters, and we loved the stuffed animal room and LIZZIE wearing her long, white dress with black spots.

Great lighting and sound round out the package, delivering a haunt that satisfies!

FOWLERVILLE

SLAUGHTER HOUSE

5781 West Grand River, Fowlerville, MI 48836

(517) 223-9140 or www.slaughterhouseadventure.com 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - COMEDY & MAGIC COMBINE LIKE NOWHERE ELSE

The hands down MASTERS OF HAUNTED PARODY strike again!

You’ll laugh. You’ll get fooled by illusions that can’t be. And YES, they will scare the pants off you!

Both the hayride and walk through attractions here have always knocked our socks off, with great surprises and illusions the likes of which you won’t see anywhere else.

Besides all the giggles and crazy stories, prepare to be WOWED by propane fire blasts during the hayride that you can feel!

There’s also a HAUNTED CORN MAZE that features a PHYSICAL THRILL unlike any other we’ve seen. After being directed to enter a certain “room,” it takes off...literally. This high-flying romp into the thrill zone will knock your socks off!

This haunt started as a neighborhood Halloween party put on by magicians and comedians, and is clearly a LABOR OF LOVE. And THAT is why this haunt is wildly successful!

TRUE MASTERS OF THE CRAFT

GRAND BLANC

SAINT LUCIFER'S HAUNTED SCREAMPARK

5290 South Dort Highway, Grand Blanc, MI 48507 (at Playland)

(810) 695-8200 or www.MichiganHauntedHouse.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - HOSPITAL HORRORS IN YOUR FACE

GRAND BLANC

13 FEET UNDER

5290 South Dort Highway, Grand Blanc, MI 48507

(810) 695-8200

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - MILITARY MANIACS RUNNING LOOSE

GRAND RAPIDS

THE HAUNT

2070 Waldorf Northwest, Grand Rapids, MI

(616) 791-9818 or www.the-haunt.com

1 mile south of I-96 at exit 28 Walker Avenue

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - SWAN SONG FOR THE AGES

This haunt is pure dynamite from the moment you arrive until you leave!

There’s a stage show with professional grade dancers and lighting in the queue line area. The routine and music are all original.

The haunt takes you through a series of amazing scenes ranging from science-based to nature, all with perfect tailored soundtracks to really take you there. On the science side we especially liked the analog electronic equipment, and for nature it was the forests and caves.

In one of the forest scenes, an actor with a very peculiar voice made himself known with awesome up close action. His voice is a weird clicking sound, how does he do that?

Also features some amazing acrobatic scarecrow action, and we loved the animal sounds from all over, large boxes that have a life of their own, and some way cool 3D mushroom things on the floor.

Great makeup and acting though out!

The future of THE HAUNT is in question, as this is the last year of their 15 year lease at the Waldorf Building.

Will it move? Will someone else take over?

All we can do is wait and see, as we weren’t able to talk to the owner after our visit...he was busy with haunt stuff...we totally understand!

But one thing is for sure: Whatever happens, we’ll always have great memories of THE HAUNT going back to ages ago when a haunt owner (TL of THE SCREAM MACHINE) told us we absolutely HAD to check out THE HAUNT in GRAND RAPIDS, calling it the best haunted attraction in Michigan!

When a haunt owner tells you something like this, it has a special credibility...so we heeded the advice and were BLOWN AWAY by THE HAUNT!

Ah, memories...thanks for the memories JB...we wish you the best in life wherever you go and whatever you do.

GROSSE ILE

PHANTOM FOREST HAYRIDES

21803 West River Road, Grosse Ile, MI 48138

(734) 676-2444 or www.westcroftgardens.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - HISTORY IN YOUR FACE & DOWN THE HATCH

This is at the OLDEST FARM IN MICHIGAN!

The decor is beautiful here, and we LOVE the barn on your left as you enter with its upstairs spooky resident looking down, gazing upon the masses who make yearly pilgrimages here.

The hayride is CLASSIC AMERICANA that will remind some of earlier days, while others will simply delight in the colorful displays and then shriek as the darkness explodes with monsters attacking and hitching rides with the cart.

The woods provide great hiding spots, and clever misdirection ensures the BIG WOW SURPRISES that get the BIG SCREAMS from hapless haunters.

A vintage blue FORD TRACTOR tows the wagon, with very comfortable inward facing rows of real hay.

After the hayride, everyone is invited to get cider and donuts at the campfire where tall tales are swapped.

The cider is cold and fresh, but the campfire is hot and inviting as stories are told, happy haunter to happy haunter...ah, tradition, blissful tradition...

HOLLY

ROTTEN MANOR

13245 Dixie Highway, Holly Michigan 48442

(248) 894-6558 or www.RottenManor.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - NEW KID HITS THE BIG TIME

Ever since storming into the market in 2015, THIS is the haunt we’ve heard more people gush about than any other...HANDS DOWN.

When a haunt is this successful, you have to wonder what kind of a person made it and how they did it...

Turns out it’s a multi-team effort, including personnel from 2 critically acclaimed haunts from past years: THE REALM OF DARKNESS and SINISTER.

The happy result of this Meeting of the Spirits is the haunt generating the most buzz in the Michigan haunt market.

Besides the walk through haunt behind the incredible facade they custom-created themselves, there’s a forest walk to die for.

Awesome makeup and monster interaction throughout!

In the walk through haunt we especially loved the amazing insect creatures, and there’s a series of amazing “tunnels” that will knock your socks off!

The festive atmosphere here is enhanced with carnival style performances from actors wielding bright LED things, and we captured some awesome “light painting” images that we’ll be posting on Flickr later.

NEW KID NAILS THE COFFIN SHUT!

INKSTER

HAUNTED FUNERAL HOME

3880 Inkster Road, Inkster, MI 48141

(734) 922-5542 or www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614513583 

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - OLD SCHOOL TO DIE FOR!

This haunt is raw and unhinged, an all out assault from every which way inside this actual former funeral home that was shut down after dubious practices came to the attention of authorities.

That was long ago, yet the specter of death and horror remains, amplified and fed on by the monsters who now freely roam here.

A butcher shop has been fashioned from the embalming area to great effect, and we totally loved the Concert Organist who performs live music like you’ve never heard before. You can’t miss her, dressed in an elegant sequined silver gown that sparkles like Tinker Bell on too much Red Bull and acid.

Excellent sound and lighting throughout, all old school done really well with an ULTRA HIGH ENERGY FINAL SCENE!

One more thing...especially for you gals...they have a Porta-John in the rear that will surprise you in a good way!

When you get inside, it closely resembles a regular bathroom with a toilet that  has a powerful flush. Turns out it’s connected to the indoor plumbing, but you wouldn’t know just by looking at it from the front. MANY things are not as they appear here!  

IRISH HILLS

HAUNTING IN THE HILLS

7203 US Highway 12, Onsted, MI 49265

www.facebook.com/traincarofterror/

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2017 - THE WILD, WILD WEST COMES ALIVE IN YOUR FACE!

Get ready to step into a TIME MACHINE INTO THE PAST at this multi-attraction haunt...

They’ve been open only 3 years, but their history goes WAAAY BACK...and comes back to life again!

The Crown Jewel of this haunt is an authentic train car, decked out in its’ Spooky Sunday Best and customized to fabulous effect.

Oh wait, there’s another Crown Jewel here...that wears a beard so long it has its’ own barber and zip code...goes by the name TOM as I recall...hmmm, that’s a good name...

Tom is the narrator on the hayride which starts at the RUSTY SPUR WATERING HOLE, and he has some tall tales to tell...as most such narrators do...but there’s a BIG DIFFERENCE HERE.

You see, many of these tales of old aren’t actually tales but fact! Kind of the reverse of FAKE NEWS if you will...or even if you won’t...

Tom was born in the house that still stands on the property here, MANY MANY MOONS AGO! He’s seen many strange and wonderful things, and what he knows he passes on to others. NO FAKE NEWS, IT’S FOR REAL!

This place is so authentically Old Western you’ll flip ‘yer lid and feel an uncontrollable urge to slap on some Boot Scootin’ high-kickers and be a DANCING FOOL!

No kidding...when we arrived at this haunt there was a ballroom full of people dancing!

Turns out they also have wedding receptions here and one was in full swing right then. They were doing a Western Theme Wedding it looked likE.

Yeah, yeah...but what about the haunting?

In a word, EXCELLENT!

There’s just so much, we’re not about to detail it all...but one thing we really liked was a most creative use of fog machines: they pumped fog into PVC piping that’s part of a special door. They’ve tweaked it so it leaks out just right, looking dangerous yet safe as milk...FABULOUS!

They’ve passed the 3 YEAR THRESHOLD that Crazy Bob at Haunted Hydro in Ohio references as a general rule-of-thumb indication of whether a haunt will endure or fold...

And we predict that things will get bigger and better here year-after-year! For example, on tap for the future is the opening of the GOLDEN NUGGET, a Western theme bar and grill.

And they treat their employees like family too. A giant stack of piping hot pizzas appeared at one point to help warm the bones of their hungry monsters.

Summer brings many other fun things here, as throngs arrive for their petting zoo, horse riding, and old gun fight battles!

This was our 1st time here, but certainly not our last.